First Christmas without my mom!

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Well this is the first year that my kids and I are without my mom and family. It has been almost a year since I left the island of saipan. We have moved to Guam which is not too far away but very expensive to fly back and forth. I love my family with all my heart and was hurt about moving away but I had no choice. My son needed mediacal attention and the island of Saipan was unable to provide him with it.He needed a Psychiatrist as well as a neurologist, i struggled for over seven years trying to find out what was going on with him, he had so many behavioral problems as well as seizures and serious mood swings. Finallt when he was nine he had another seizure which prompted the hospital in Saipan to refer us to the Medical attenion of a neurologist in Guam. Shortly after the first visit, i recieved word that we would have to go back every three months for check ups. Well it was then that I decided that I couldnt do it that way, i couldnt afford to travel back and forth with him and also leave my other two children behind. I packed all the things that I could take and left to Guam on my own. I had left my three children behind so that I could search for a home for them to come to. It took me a week but I finally found an apartment and a vehicle that I could afford. That very same day that I purchased the vehicle I drove straight to the airport and brought my children to Guam. As I mentioned earlier it has been almost a year and my son is doing very well, he is recieving all the medical attention he requires and we are living a good life. But the only thing that has gotten me sad through out this whole time is the lonliness of the Holidays. On Thanksgiving we spent it with a few friends and I was really appreciative to have gotten that opportunity but now that Christmas is around the corner, I find myself crying at night and restless during the day, unable to focus when i am at work because I realize that this Christmas will be without my family. It is very hard time for me, there are alot of things that run through my mind. I ask myself how will I be able to make this Christmas the best for my children when they are so used to having so much when we spend it with my family, how can I make them understand that we can't fly to see grandma, even at this special time of year. I kno that the choice I have made to move away is one that was best for us adn I would do it all over again if I had to but I just cant get this feeling of lonliness being without my mom this Christmas season away from me.