Why are you still 'offended' when you know you have a choice not to be?

True, no one can offend us without our permission. They can't control what we think or feel so they didn't "offend us", they didn't something that we choose to be offended over. The thing is though, feeling offended isn't always a bad thing. There are words that we find offensive, but that doesn't mean those words are find and dandy. People say that words should't offend, and they might be right, but even those who say it usually have their own list of offensive words.

Very insightful. In fact, if we chose not to be offended, it would deter people from deliberately saying things to be offensive because there would be no joy to derive from hurting other people.

Mommyboo..this is one thing most here forget that we have a right to agree to disagree..we all weren't made the same otherwise we would be robots unless thats what they want to be..if anyone doesn't understand the discussion then by all means don't lash out and stalk the person or rant and rave over it..be fair and give your opinion and allow us to give ours..

As with most things, I look at the Bible as my guide for what is right and wrong. If Jesus would be offended, then so am I.

hi to you, good morning,well, always remember that life is unfair, and life is goes on, so whatever in your mind is just a temporary never last forever, be positive in everything around you...ihihihi... merry Christmas to you and happy new year... may god bless you.... happy my lotting...

After I read your original posting, the phrase "take what you like and leave the rest", comes to mind and is very appropriate to this discussion. Particularly here on Mylot, which is a discussion forum there are going to be differences of opinion, after all is that not the whole point of the site. To have an open dialogue on what ever we're thinking at the moment and to respond to other people's thoughts. So as you and others have articulated so well, we're only offended if we choose to be. I have my opinion and you're free to have yours. All I ask is that you consider my point of view and I will listen to yours, I will not try to change your opinion, however I may point out things you may not have considered. I would appreciate that you give me the same courtesy and not try to change my opinion. It is my personal belief that we can only have open an honest dialogue when we start to truly listen, instead of shouting to be heard. Once we stop trying to change the opinion of those who disagree with us, we may find that their views offer us new insight or perspective. Only then can sharing, learning, and acceptance begin to occur. That's just my 2¢ worth. Happy Mylotting!

it is alright to get involved in discussions just to explore on some things to talk about with friends or to hone one's capability at reasoning when tackling some issues. however, these discussions must go down to personal levels. this is the point wherein one of the participants in the discussions becomes untoward and can cause others to feel offended. it must be had in mind that this is only a friendly talk and everyone's simply sharing ideas and thoughts on the matter. life is really a matter of attitude. for me, once i feel offended by how one or others behave and talk, i just simply convince myself that the guy is one who believes in himself so much and thus, must be taken only at the superficial level. meaning, if we do not wish to be offended, just simply think that there was no offense effected at all by anyone. everything is friendly talk and that's how it is.

peoples never want t belive that every thing is over they always have some hope

What a terrific way of looking at it! After reading your post and some of the other's responses, I surely agree with you. I believe that society has told us what is right and what is wrong, therefore leading us to feel a certain way about particular subjects. I think this goes hand in hand with having an open mind and the willingness to understand that other's have an opinion and because I do not want to interfere with their Freedom of Speech, which I also believes covers freedom of expression, I prefer to allow people the "right" to express themselves, however that may be. It may be irritating to my common senses, but how they feel should not directly impair my feelings. With that being said, I also think it is fair to recognize and validate other's feelings when they are offended or hurt. Of course I can either choose to not surround myself with people that are offended by things I may say, or I can respect them enough to not say certain offensive things. After writing this, I can see it's a catch 22 for me. I am a compassionate woman, who cares about peoples feelings. I certainly get tired of the people that are constantly hurt by things that may not necessarily hurt me, but they are still hurting, nonetheless. Doesn't that matter? Great topic! I'm not sure if I expressed myself adequately, but I love topics/debates like these that really tend to get the wheels turning upstairs! a Thanks!

The truth is if you feel offended, there's no telling what your reaction will be. Sure, some people have managed to maintaint the inherent decency they get from birth, but so many people do actually like the normally wouldn't when mad or sad. Have you ever had that feeling like if you had been thinknig properly you wouldn't haev done it?