I am so sad..

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I spent my weekend sulking and feeling bad. Now can't help but still be sad and shed tears. I had a lot of things i got emotional about. One of them is about our christmas party. We had our christmas party last week. It took me about 4 weeks to get everything organized. a colleague who was last years host, was also the host for this year. In one part of the of the programme, the boss' wife was laughing so hard, she asked who thought of that segment. She said "I did". When the party ended, she wrapped up and thanked her co-host for helping her out. Hello? I handed the whole programme to her, and ran her through it. Everything they needed -props and everything i had it prepared. I never enjoyed the party myself because i was busy preparing the stuff they need accdg to the programme. Also, my boss didn't give me a gift. Last year he gave a me check, plus some stuff from both him & his wife. Now, i saw other officemates got cookies coming from them, i got nothing. I know i screw up at work sometimes, but im thinking if that's the reason. He also didn't give me a gift on my birthday months ago. He said "oh i forgot your give my wife prepared" but he never mentioned it again. A few weeks later, he gave an officemate a birthday check. Although she was more senior and ranking, i was his secretary. he gave me a check last year. Another incident was there was a part of the party where i felt alienated from others. I know i am not one of the top groups or high profile ones, but that instant i felt i was lower than the lowest. To top that, small stuff i had at the office didn't turn out right, like deliveries not delivered, stuff not bought. As i was going home, i flagged down a taxi and it passed right by me. Usually i don't give a damn, but that time, i felt pity and move myself to tears. It was like everything is ganging up on me. I went home puffy eyed. My mom was asking why but i dont want to tell her or else i'll break down in tears. When i closed my room, i did. I wanted to go away somewhere, but i can't think of a place. I don't want to go to the mall. I wanted to get drunk but then i realized all my close friends i want to drink with are not in the country. i know this feeling will pass. but for the meantime, it sucks. Its a good thing i have mylot.