Spanking is it really needed?

First off let me say there is a HUGE difference in spanking a child and beating a child. A good spanking never hurt anyone and we all probably got them and we all probably needed them. I believe that the inability to properly discipline children are the very reasons we are seeing an increase in violence in children. Children feared a paddle or switch when I was a kid but today they do not hold that fear because parents fear to discipline them the way they were disciplined. Parents who spank fear child services and losing their children. This should not be so! The government needs to step out of the line of discipline and allow parents who know their children best to discipline them. The only time child services should step in is if that child has brusing, scars, etc. In other words the child shows true signs of abuse. Spanking a child is not abuse it is simply to allow them to learn right from wrong and instill a mind set that if they step out of line they will be spanked and put back on the right path. Children need to know parents, teachers, and other authority figures have the right to take measures to put them in line. Time outs and grounding are areas I have tried and in some cases they work while in others they do not. My son is 4 so he does not like to sit still and so this type of punishment can at times be used. Do I think this is the most effective type of punishment no I do not. This type of punishment is soon forgotten once play resumes and this is the reason it is not a proper punishment for children. This type of punishment results in many repeated offences and the parent must remain consecutive in punishment. This leaves the child feeling they stay in trouble and the parent wondering what they are doing wrong as a parent. Children do not need to live in fear of if they mess up but they need to know that the punishement they receive will be worth remembering and not making the same mistake or choice again. All this being said as you can see I am a firm believer in spanking a child. I am NOT and would NEVER support the use of abuse to discipline a child. Children are learning and they are going to make mistakes, we as adults need to be able to control our anger and discipline a child according to their deed. Not every instance means you need to spank a child sometimes just a harsh look and firm reason why the child did wrong will work, sometimes a time out might be a better option, and other times using a calm tone and explaining why we do not act out is the best option. If you lose your temper and are angry you should never lay a hand on a child. Sit them in time out until you have calmed down enough to handle the situation. Anger is what leads many people to abuse and to physically harm their children.

Excellent topic! Coming from a family that used corporal punishment and having used it in the beginning of my children's lives, but not for long, I must say that surely there is a difference between spanking and beating. But I do not believe a child can differentiate between the two. There is absolutely no reason to spank a child. NONE. Words suffice if you raise them properly. By spanking, one is only teaching violence. My mom taught me and I imposed this on my children and felt like crud each time. I did not see a difference what so ever. Sure it takes much more work to learn to actually speak to your child as opposed to spanking them, and learning their individual personalities. But once you do, you will be so proud of yourself. And I'm a Christian, as well. I do not take everything literally in the Bible. The "rod" can be strong words, not screaming either.

i am very biblical. even in the way that i brought up my kids, i have based it on biblical foundations. it is stated in the bible that we have to discipline our children relentlessly. we have to talk to them at all times possible. like when at waking up in the early morning, while walking with them at the street, while taking our meals with them, whenever we sit with them anywhere...no limits here, really. now, even if we do this, children tend to forget what we tell them at times. there will always be bad influences lurking around and sometimes, they get hold of the better of the kids. this is the time when spanking becomes a must. according to the bible, hold the rod and spoil the child. so, i do some spanking when needed. before it happens though, i have to explain why there is a need for the spanking. then, after the spanking, we have to talk about why it happened and as to how difficult for me it was doing it. all of my children understand that i need to spank them because, it is God's command as written in the bible. if only we will follow this, its effect in the child is beyond measure. spanking will have to be done out of love rather than out of anger.

No, I've never spanked my kids, nor have I ever been spanked. I don't use time outs either. I believe that most time a child behaves in a way we don't want it to do it's our fault (or another adults fault). We have nott met the childs needs (they are tierd, hungry, need attention and so on) I treat my children like persons and will tell them that they makes me sad if they do, just like I would do to an adult. If an adult on the street would say something bad to be I would spank him/her *lol* In Sweden spanking is even against the law since the end of 1970's....

I don't have kids yet but I went through all that discipline and I think it worked well for me and my siblings. There are levels of reasoning in a person that changes and matures while he grows up. There is a time when the only way he can figure out what is right from wrong is that if one thing will get him into trouble then it's wrong and if there's a reward then it's right and only through rewards and punishments and authority figures does he learn what to do and not to do - that's why I think spanking is effective. Too much of it of course is bad, but if you're a sane parent then you'd do fine. Thanks for the comment on my discussion!