Santa Sleighed by a Slack Sack
By p1kef1sh
@p1kef1sh (45681)
December 23, 2008 1:29pm CST
Stumbling out of his cold North Pole home, Santa jammed his hat hard onto his head and moved towards the stable. Donna, the rather attractive female reindeer that had replaced old Donner pawed the ground impatiently. This was her first Christmas dress rehearsal for tomorrow's main event. The other reindeer stood silently munching on the last of the summer straw that Jack Frost had brought up from Canada shortly before the Iceman descended on that frozen country. The old wily beasts knew to conserve their energy for the dry run ahead. Santa checked the sack ballast that consisted of several full sacks for children plus a few weights; he climbed aboard and picked up the reins. "On boys" he called, Donna picked up her ears, "boys", she sighed and let the error go. "How women suffer" she muttered. Across an ebony sky studded with tiny pinpricks of light that were cold winter stars they charged. Flat out they went, gaining speed as they advanced down the World heading for the aptly named Christmas Islands. They were there in seconds then heading fast for the Antipodes. Swerving madly they advanced across the vast continent of Australia, moved down to chimney level and said Hello to Brisbane. As they got closer to Sydney the reindeer faltered and the stopped. This had never happened before. "On boys" Santa called. But try as they might the sleigh would not move. Santa looked back, a sack had slipped and was lodged in the running track causing a permanent brake. Miles up in the sky. In the wrong part of the world Santa is halted. What should he do. He can't climb out without falling. He needs our help! Can we save him boys and girls or will Christmas have to be cancelled?!!
4 people like this
9 responses
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
23 Dec 08
It occurs to me that pikefish and crocodiles may have more in common than I thought. They both have big, mean jaws filled with teeth but some of them, at least, seem to have more than something in common with their way of thinking.
No, there is a key to this problem. There is to every problem! Once you discover it, you are away. OK, Santa can't climb out without falling but his reindeer don't fall. Hmmm ... let's give this some elf-thought. A sleigh is not unlike a wagon, except it has no wheels. Santa's mission is something like Ocado's ... if people can't come to your market, then you take the goods to them. Uh-uhhh, bear up ... we are getting there. I have a song in my head ... the refrain goes:
"Donna, donna, donna, donna,
Donna, donna, done ..."
That's it! Release Donna from the harness, she will turn into a swallow who will swallow the sack that is sack-religiously preventing the correct operation of a non-religious construct and we shall be on our way in no time.
"Is that a Daguerre that I see before me?"
"No, Hamlet (or 'Mon Petit Jambon', as ve say en France), it is merely a digitally-enhanced 3-D hologram"
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
25 Dec 08
Every reindeer looked towards Donna as if to ask "What will we do"?? As long as there is a female reindeer in the bunch, Christmas would not be shanghaied by such a simple mishap.. Since they were stopped in their tracks while flying across the sky, Donna knew what she had to do, being the only female and therefore the smartest one she had it all under control.. Sticking out of the sack closest to Santa and within Donna's reach was a Popeil Pocket fisherman, made famous by World renowned Ron Popeil, Donna grabbed this out of the sack and with the 6" of line included in the package, proceeded to cast the line a couple of times before she yanked in the "catch of the Day", the errant sack.. While doing so, she noticed the gift card, why, this was for Jeff Foxworthy, one of the world's biggest Rednecks, how proud she was to have used a "Pocket Fisherman" that was meant for one of her favorite comedians.. One she had seen so many times when Santa and Mrs Claus would let her watch the cable channels and when she was allowed to stay up until the wee hours watching infomercial's.. While the others were sleeping the night away, she had watched many, many of the infomercial's and it was just as easy as they said it was to use..
Pondering this, Donna took her place in line again and just as sure as the children, the good little boys and girls, would wake up to gifts left by Santa, Donna once again heard Santa proclaim, "On boys", while all the while thinking of many devious ways to get even, she thought of so many that she couldn't decide which one would be the best to use, but she will bide her time, as any good woman will do, then all at once, out of the blue, it will happen.. Santa may not make it next year, she thought, he may just have an accident!!!!! Hum!! Oh what could it be??
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
25 Dec 08
Mrs Claus is getting very twitchy about their neighbour the Easter Bunny, who she thinks has her eyes and Easter Eggs on Santa. Maybe next year it will be Mrs C that does the delivery.
A much better reply than my original or its conclusion. Thank you and Merry Christmas.
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
25 Dec 08
MERRY CHRISTMAS p1ke, you bring out the best in everyone, have a great fun day, Donna
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
13 Jan 09
You really should write a child's book..You would do a awesome job and have the right amount of intrigue and enthusiasm and kids would love it.Great story I should have read this part first but my inbox is always giving me the newest first..
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
23 Dec 08
Sadly, I fear I am at least four hours too late. I doubt poor Santa and his entourage would still be suspended above Brissie - and strangely, my daughter is a flight attendant flying out of Brisbane early this morning, so I'm hoping her flight wasn't afflicted with reindeer strike. The odd bird gets caught in plane engines every now and then, and I'm guessing the horrid, racheting sound of crunching antlers would be enormously upsetting to all concerned. A blended Santa wouldn't look too marvie, either. I desperately hope some Brit responders who were on the ball whilst I was still sleeping have managed to sort this problem so Christmas isn't ruined this year. Viva la Brits!
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
24 Dec 08
That was a fantastic show of creativity. You're a good writer. You could do well at helium, or are you there already? Christmas should not be canceled: "so out from the north pole come the turbo rangers, sprouting in the sky like skydiving mushrooms. They have their repair gears clamp to their backs like parachutes. They hover worriedly over Santa's sleigh and ...."I can't think anymore P1, you're a better writer. Now, I'm stuck...lol...I invite you again to helium. Come share with us your talent. Happy holidays. I hope someone comes to rescue Santa..lol...
@quyiishahaoran (48)
• China
24 Dec 08
Haha,it is very interesting!But how can we help?Move the sack away?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Dec 08
I'm with Owlwings, get Donna out of the harness and have her grab the sack.
Great clip. My husband has East German relatives. Interesting stories...
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
24 Dec 08
I just love your bedtime stories..can we snuggle while you read me another..I just want to be warm and toasty before you come to Texas on Santa's Sleigh soon..
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
23 Dec 08
Hi p1key,
Oh what a delima Santa's is having, what on earth are we to do? no presents for boys and girls on Christmas morning as Santa is stuck, well the only thing to do is get help form chitty chitty bang bang car for help, so how would the car help, any ideas? Hugs.
Tamara