Church Omits 'Obey' from Marriage Vows to Tackle Domestic Abuse

Many prists in the orthodox church have stoped using "obey" as well. I dont know if that is the official position of the church or what. We didnt have it in our ceremony and our wedding was 6 years ago.

First things first. If you are going to start omitting what is in the Bible, you first need to read what it says, then you will find that there is no need to omit anything. The Bible says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. This is one way of asking for trouble. The Bible also says that the man should love the woman as he loves himself. The woman is told to respect her husband. I am not saying that if you do all of these things, that the man will never hit his wife. But I am saying that if you start out wrong, you are asking for trouble. If you want God to bless your marriage, start out by being obedient. The end of the Bible says that we are not to add anything to it or take anything away. Although, I realize that this is just another sign of the times.

This is some interesting thoughts for sure, and I could see how in turn it could cause some Men to become Abusive to their wives and think it is OK. In some ways this is something more people could learn from. Even though personally from the Christian point of view, this is an important one I feel to keep in there, from a worldly point of view I could see how this could become a Domestic issue as well.

As a feminist I myself have had problems dealing with the word obey in marriage vows. I don't think God cares who obey whom or if anyone obeys anyone accept for him. I would not say obey in my marriage vows and feel that removing it is a good strategy for dealing with domestic violence. Maybe if men learned that woman were people instead of property {which normal men know anyhow}. they would be less inclined to beat their wives.

I don't think that this will hinder any men from abusing their wives. I mean, yeah I see the point of the Church kinda, but this just means that the Church doesn't advocate domestic violence, which anyone with a brain already knows. If a man is violent towards his wife, he will be so whether that word is in the vows or not. I say they need to have more extensive pre-marital counseling, in order to discover if the man (or the woman for that matter) has tendencies to be violent in this manner, then if they are found they should postpone or not allow the marriage.

Hello. As for me, I don't think omitting the word from the marriage vows solves everything. Rather, it is better for the church, and to those in authority, to further explain all about marriage, and I mean everything. It's crazy knowing that there are some who takes these vows in a different way. I believe that we are all equal in the eyes of God, and He doesn't want anyone to be abused or treated badly by someone else. I'm not that knowledgable, but what I know is that, no one is allowed to abuse anyone, and it applies to all, not just in marriage. Thanks.

I am in favor of it, I think the word obey has too much negative connotations

I think it should go each way. My parents had a discussion with me when I was a young teenager about how it says the woman is to be submissive to the wife and all that and what was told to me is that the woman should always have a say in the marriage but the husband has the last word and by no means does that mean any abuse or anything like that. Like usual the church is patching the problem instead of fixing it... kinda sad in my estimation.! Thanks Zelo

Domestic violence is a serious and dangerous behavior ,and it should never be justified. Violent men need to attend an Anger Management class ,and they should be punish for any violent acts toward their wives or any family member.

Even obey doesn't mean physical punishment if not obeyed, so what is the relationship to domestic abuse? Isn't it fair to say that the church would also say that there should not be laying of hands on your partner, as well? I think the obey should be taken out and that marriage should be on equal terms and especially since the roles of men and women in marriage and in life has changed so dramatically over the years. Many times the woman is doing the "job" that the man originally was doing to keep the family in food and shelter, so it should be a more equal partnership, not that it shouldn't have been all along since the woman had all the home things to keep track of. The stay at home mom actually wears many hats..........chauffeur, cook, laudress, housekeeper, lover, mother, wife, dishwasher, etc, that we are all aware of. When working outside the home was added, she still had all of that and it was great that some men decided to pitch in and help.........note the word SOME.

What they are doing is foolishness. There are couples that are not married and domestic abuse still appears. The bible says that the wife should submit to her husband. What the churches should do is have a background check on the individual who wishes to married. If it so happen that the male is from a violent background then do counselling sessions. For a year so that he received the necessary guidance that will be needed. A lot of persons who give abuse received this during their childhood days and it is the only way they know how to react. But if the churches are doing what the bible says they to do then these things will work out. 1 Corinthians take alot about marriages and behaviour and so pastors/preachers need to go back to the bible.

bout time!! i am so sick of hearing that as a reason to be allowing abuse and i have heard them quote obey a lot!

My uncle married my current husband and me and I don't remember the word "obey". I don't really see how removing one word would reduce domestic abuse. It seems that people that abuse are just abusers to begin with and a word would not make a difference. But, why should the vows contain a word obey for women and not for men?

The first marriage: Genesis 2:18-25 (Contemporary English Version) 18The LORD God said, "It isn't good for the man to live alone. I need to make a suitable partner for him." 19-20So the LORD took some soil and made animals and birds. He brought them to the man to see what names he would give each of them. Then the man named the tame animals and the birds and the wild animals. That's how they got their names. None of these was the right kind of partner for the man. 21So the LORD God made him fall into a deep sleep, and he took out one of the man's ribs. Then after closing the man's side, 22the LORD made a woman out of the rib. The LORD God brought her to the man, 23and the man exclaimed, "Here is someone like me! She is part of my body, my own flesh and bones. She came from me, a man. So I will name her Woman!" [a] 24That's why a man will leave his own father and mother. He marries a woman, and the two of them become like one person. 25Although the man and his wife were both naked, they were not ashamed. A beautiful ceremony, no doubt. Notice that God called Eve, Adam's partner. Marriage is a partnership. True the man is the senior partner, but a partner nonetheless. One person once explained that God created woman from a rib, a rib is close to the heart. He should love and cherish her.

time and again,some people have twisted gods word to suit their own selfish interests.They are designed by God to bring forth good in your life. If you twist God's words, they will bring forth twisted things in your life, and if you speak good to others, you edify, or build up that person, but if you speak evil twisted words to someone, you tear that person down. You believe what you say more than what someone else says, but if you listen to others speaking evil twisted words, you begin to believe them, and act on them, distorting your own life.

I was with someone that took "obey" to a whole new level in the marriage. Having been through that, I told second hubby that I refused to say that word in the vows specifically because of it. I know some people value the traditional vows that have been said through the years, and I applaud them for that. But it's just not for me. There ARE people out there that manage to twist what is said to suit their own screwed up ways of thinking...and that's pretty sad.