unexpected guests

We don't have any unexpected guests here as we are staying away from our native place. We have friends and relatives staying here but everybody is busy with their own work and family. If they come, they prefer to inform early because they hesitate otherwise we won't be at home. If we visit anybody's house it will be upon an invitation or we try to inform them earlier. Sometimes we had guests from our native place, they came either for a visit here or for some official works. In that case, we provide accommodation and food for them and they also inform us well in advance. When hearing about the visit of people, I also felt nervous how I attend them properly, what to do etc but fortunately till now those guests are satisfied with our hospitality. I can understand your problem. I think your guests should show some manners or think about your inconvenience, it will be very nice for you. I don't think it will be rude if you say them 'call and come'. You can tell them politely, 'next time please call and then come, otherwise we won't be available'. Hope you will be able to deal them in a wise manner. Good luck.

Namastey, I think in this professional world where peoples are racing against time and every moment is preceious. Any unexpected one will always being ignored and difficult to accept. You may have big house but did not have enough time to attend them. One should understand that every one plans a day in well advance and try to accomodate most of work so that things can be done in time. If somebody appears just unexpectedly he will be definitely not get full attention and disturb others planning. So sometimes mehmaan jo haumara jan sey pyaara hota hai kbhi kbhi musibaat sey jayada hi lagta hai.

I totally agree with you. When I was at home full time I loved having guests and would look forward to guests....expected or unexpected....but now I shudder even when someone calls to visit...because there's so much work and the kids too. Space is not a constraint...but I can't really entertain them with all my work.

I can understand your position. We also remain in more or less same situation, as you say. We both are working couple, therefore, someone dropping in all of sudden makes us shudder and uncomfortable. It is not like that we do not welcome our unexpected guests, however, we do feel uneasy, till such time we gather our composture. Therefore, we make it a point and tell our near and dear ones that if they are coming to our home, please tell us well in advance, so that we could in turn inform you about our availability and could be in a position to receive and welcome you. All our Near and Dear ones understand our situation and appreciate the point that being a working couple, we are required to manage our house hold affairs ourselves, therefore, if they inform us about their arrival in advance, we welcome them with utmost hospitality. And once any guest has joined us in our house, we do not let him/her go easily, till he/she so desires. We pamper him/her with sumptuous food and yummy dishes.

Hi Aps well, we are in Pakistan and we dont have too big house , but still it big eenough and have 2-3 rooms as spare room, and if guests are more than they can be accomated in drwing room and TV lounge. We dont mind un expected guests and happy to have them, most of our guests informed us and very rare come without informing. but as u know we have many ladies at home and all are housewives so they enjoy and dont mind. well in ur case now, i really agree what u think, but i wonder who can be so free there to come for so many days?? Take care

Hi dear...Of course I dont mind having guests at home.But they should inform me well in advnance about their arrival since I have to stock my fridge well in advance and clean and arrange the guest bed room for them.....When my children were studying having such unexpected or even expected guests was a real nightmare,especially when the children were having exams.But now I am more free and can easily accomodate guests ,but still I like to get sufficient warning,before they force themselves on me.Fortunately most of my guests leave within a day or two... But since you are working woman It will be a real ordeal to have unexpected or expected guests....They should have more sense than to take advantage of your goodness and try to find accomodation else where,if they are really decent.... BTW when are you planning to drop into my place dear....You are always welcome,but a little warning means I can give you a better welcome.......

That is a great discussion because most of us face the same situation here most of the time. I don't like unwelcome guests. We have so many schedules and priorities in our day to day life. We do have time to entertain our guests’ and I for one strictly believe that I must have the right to choose the time to entertain my guests. The worst thing that can happen to me is a gate crasher while I am starting to enjoy my privacy which might have happened after meticulous planning after a long interval. I hate that time being thrust on me. I hate surprises. And I don't ever surprise me with my visit. I am always very open hearted to ask my hosts the convenient time and always honor their convenience.

I really do not appreciate unexpected guests that stay here for any length of time. My man has lots of friends that do this quite a bit. Over the years they have started calling us in advance though. I have said nothing and done my utmost to make them feel velcome. Iy is health issues that has made things a bit harder around here. people luckily understand we now ned a notice before they arrive. It is not easy to turn people away. I'm always afraid they will feel il treated. But then health is an important thing. Breaking ourselves down will benefit noone.

I think its because you tolerated them before and i think now they just got used to it. I think it also happens to some people too, offering some goodness to other people but then some people dont seem to have enough of it until it reaches to the point where you would feel obliged to help them. I think some people also have to be a little considerate from time to time too because they are just asking favors. We also have guests here at our place sometime when it is holiday season and i think its ok too because they are also considerate with us and they understand that we could not be there to entertain them very much because we also have work to do. But i think its also nice that they always inform us before they would visit here so that we could prepare their rooms and things they would be needing in their stay here. I think its also fun to have guests from time to time because you would get to spend some time with them and have fun. I think in your case you have to tell them frankly because if you wont you would be the one who would really have a hard time with it.

The normal thing to do usually is to call before, unless the host likes it to be surprised by unexpected guests. Personally I don't like this, it makes me nervous, it stresses me that's y I always ask people to call me before they come.

We all come into a situation like that once in a while. Even if you want to tell them straight, you cannot. Cause' it is rude. Maybe what you could do is tell them to make themselves comfortable even if they have to sleep on the couch. But if that happens too often maybe you could them in a polite manner so they won't feel offended.

if i were in ur place i too behave like u only.. it seems rude.. but in this fast paced world v r forced to do like tht..

Can understand your problem apsara,and its quite understandable.despite we being from a culture where a guest is treated as a god,"Athithi Devo Bhava",in todays hectic life,it is becoming difficult to maintain that.You have two choices either to take it as it comes,or tell your guests,but when you are not liking its better to tell them.

unless that its a matter of super emergency..i wouldnt...some people are soinconsiderate...they just barge in...well...invading your privacy..and of course even when you are at home you have endless household things to do...so i cant reslly allow unexpected guets..and besides when i have a guest i want to entertain so that means i have to prepare food etc..i want my guest to be comfortable....but if he/she is unexpected..whoa!!!...i cant have musch for him/her...i would be diplomatic in my way of sayong that i cant have him around...actually the one who is rude in this situation is the unexpected guest...

You are right, Apsara. Its very irritating to have unexpected guests and specially in the weekends. I too work 5 days a week, and in the first and last weeks of the months even Saturdays are working days for us. I save all my household chores for the weekends and in the evenings of the weekends I feel like going out. So my routine gets badly disrupted on the event of arrival of such unexpected guests. Thankfully, all my close friends understands these and always make sure they call up before visiting each other. When I come across such inconsiderate people who think I am always at their disposal and they can walk in anytime to my house, I feel the need to politely state that I prefer being informed about their arrival from next time onwards so that I can be better prepared to serve them.

I totally agree with you, there are people who does not care what others are going through and what they care is only for themselves. I stay alone and i have the experience of unexpected quests and it ok sometimes but not always as we need privacy at times and not only that sometimes we have finical problems. Its not rude to say that please call me before you come, and they too will understand that as we don't want to disappoint anybody when they expect something, so its better to make sure that they can stay with us before they come to our door step as when they are already in our home its hard to refuse. Merry christmas apsara60

I don't think it is rude to need a little heads up...especially for overnight guests. After all, there is a lot that needs to go into overnight guests...where to sleep, what to eat, and a bathroom that is freshly cleaned. I don't get unexpected guests, but if I did it would frustrate me. I can easily go with the flow in most circumstances, but with life so busy it is easy for the house to get messy and things to pile up.

I too am not too happy when I have unexpected guests at home during the week. I am out of the house for 12 hours everyday and it gets difficult to entertain the guests when I am too tired to even say hello to them. My guests have not got used to calling up and then coming because they are never sure if they will find me at home. At times if I go out with the kids we suddenly make plans to stay away for the night if we have a holiday the next day. At times we make plans to have our dinner out and so come home only at midnight. If I know in advance that someone is coming over I usually take a holiday.

yes i usally welcomes unespected guests because they came for any urgent work at our place or they they have some problem to ask help from ours

Hai........apsara unexpected guests in holidays if theire presence is ok,but if they are coming if we are busy schedule ,or not convient time and all exempted,as per feeling to call,or informing is better i belive.....