Do you think looking for your lover is a waste of time?

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There has been not only one or two boys told me they love me and they were willing to do everything for me. but I refused them,because I wanna have one I love not one I'm loved. and,with years past,I've got someone I haven't expected. I'm always staring at the window and looking at somewhere far away and thinking about my future,is everything supposed to happen like this? Am I able to change it or not? Is looking for a lover a waste of time or not? because every time you think you can get something started,the god stops it . and sometimes you wanna stop something unexpected,the god gives you a hand and help it happen. How strange