I got yelled at by a homeless man when I tried to help

I have never been yelled at by a homeless person, when I have given food to a homeless person I have been thanked. You have to realize also some homeless people have mental illness' and do not know how to act in the general public. Please do not let one person ruin your act of kindness.

Nana, firstly, I must say that you are a thoughtful person and trust me not all think the way you do and actually reach out like that. And the incident must not curb you from doing good for people. I am sure it wouldn't. Coming to the man, I think we all have self respect and it varies from person to person how deeply we go by it. May be the man there had an ego unusual and a different approach could have made him happy. But the question is, how would you know? While most love it that way a few might not like that man. I think experience is a big teacher and we learn from those. I wish you luck in your endeavor. Blessed be.

that is something. I always help the poor. But never had given something like that when they were looking at the trash. I think somehow that might hurt them someway on how we look at them or perceive. After reading this guess I learn something too. thank you for sharing. :)

I had a group of homeless people in a tent city get insulted when I tried to give them my left overs. They thought I should give them money so they could go to the restaurant instead. They tried to make me feel guilty for eating out when they were homeless. Fine. I'll eat my leftovers. I work darn hard for my money. I'll do almost any job any hours just to get by. I earned my money and I can darn well spend it eating out if I want to.

Well, I don't think you should feel in any way discouraged to give anyone food. I mean, this guy may have been drunk, or something. People react to things in different ways. I don't see how anyone can have a lot of pride left when they're in the street and haven't bathed for three days, but if he wanted it that way, good for you for just going along with it.

This has never happened to me. However, homeless people are not different then us and have their feelings too. I can see how he felt. At least you did learn a great lesson from this, and at least you are still giving to them regardless. I think that it would have upset me too, but I can see where he didn't want to take "hand-outs". My Fiance' sees homeless people picking out of the garbage on a daily basis, and sometimes he'll try to just give them some change to go get them something from McDonald's or something like that, and most of the time they take it and never give him a bad response. However, I'm sure the homeless have bad days just like everyone else in this world does, and maybe he was having a bad day, or someone else had been rude to him that day and didn't know what to expect from someone else. Kudos for helping those in need, regardless of the reactions you may get.

Well, for many people even the ones who are homeless, they want to be independant and take care of themselves. It would really depend on the situation what I would do in each situation. Because there are some that would feel offended, and then there would be some who might Thank You for your generosity as well. Personally I will usually think out the situation and usually will do in my gut what I feel is right. We have been able to help out a lot of people over time, and sometimes are used, and many times Blessed by doing so. So your best bet is to access the situation and maybe one of these days you will be Blessed by your efforts when you try to help someone as well and be Thanked for it.

This has never happened to me thankfully but like you have said this man probably felt offended by the direct offer. At least when you threw the food you did not want into the bin he was able to take it himself. That is the difference for this homeless man, i.e. what he probably needs as "charity" from you and his being able to "help himself". Yes your offer was well intentioned and if you are happy to give directly to the homeless you should not stop doing that because of this one unfortunate incident. My mother taught us that we should never take away a person's pride. Once we take away a person's pride often they have nothing left, as sometimes the only thing a person has is their pride. It is a fine balancing act to decide what is the best thing to do in these sorts of cases. For example there is the health and hygiene issues of someone taking food to eat from a rubbish/trash bin but on the other hand in this instance the food was in a container. Maybe in future one of the things we should make sure that left over food which is being thrown out has some sort of wrapping/cover. The other is to pray that the days of people having to forage in the garbage for food will soon be gone forever.

That's kind of sad in a way because I know a lot of people that wouldn't even offer than when a good hearted person as yourself offers help, the way you were treated was just not cool.

It never happened to me. I have helped some people like that before and have given them what you have given but I do believed that what you have analyzed is correct. Sometimes people still have a since of pride and a sense of shame despite their situation. But the most important thing to remember is what you have done is something that is worth emulating and something that you should be proud of. Continue to share your blessings and I am sure you will always be blessed. Best to you and your family.

No I've never outright tried to offer anything to a homeless person. There was this man I saw everyday downtown, and I felt for him and wanted to give him something, but I knew he was too proud to take anything from anyone. A lot of them are. The ones who actually ask for money or something from you, I do not like to help those ones. I can never tell if they're legit or not. They could be someone who has a home and is just trying to scam some extra money from you.

I used to give our extra food to people who stand by our grocery store who seemed to be hungry.I feel happy watching them eat.But one day I encountered a dirty man who yelled at me too.We had the same experience.I felt offended.From that time on I didn't want to give anything on voluntary basis.Even those material things like clothes and shoes outgrown by my children I did not bother offer for those who need.I just leave it in front of our house until it disappeared so I will not feel offended again.

When my father was still alive, he gave free legal services to farmers in two days of every week. Thirty years ago, he also formed a non-governmental organization that was specificlly tasked to help the upland tribal communities. I am now actively involved in the various developmental programs of this NGO. It may interest you to know that we always had this aversion for the help we wanted to extend to the tribes. We had suffered bodily harm as some of these tribes have turned violent. Fortunately, we learned through time that many of them felt threatened as they could comprehend the why's and wherefore's of what we wanted to do for them. A bird will watch you from a distance, but it will surely fly away when you get too near. A dog will keep barking at you, but it will run away or bite you when you get too close. You may want to see a cute guy, but when he puts his face only inches away from you, you will surely react by keeping a farther distance. This is called "breaking the critical distance" in Sociology. This is their way of reacting to a possible threat - a threat of something new and unknown to them. We later understood that they would eagerly accept any project if we solicit their initiative in the conceptualization of these projects, specially if they are assured that they are given a relatively free hand in running it. Recently, we have discovered that sending these tribal workers to help out other upland tribes in more distant locations has been tremendously successful because the new tribes could easily empathize with them and are very eager to learn in the successes of the other tribes. So, may I ask you to keep on helping? And may we all keep helping our fellow man for as long as we assure them that we are not a threat to their sensibilities, whether these are imagined or real.

Each one of them may offer different reactions. And that would probably depend on their principles in life. As for that person you tried to help, maybe he just did not want to be seen as someone who asks and only receives food from others, instead he wants others to see that despite of his situation, he still knows how to find his own way to live.

nope never..i mean that kind of situation ..i really don't offer food but often time its them who are always knocking on my gate for food and everything or even water..then i give them one...but not on the streets...

I had an experience as enlightening as that but very different. Several years ago, there was a homeless lady that used to come into the store I worked at each night about the time that she knew that I would be disassembling the hotdog machine. She knew that I tossed all the left over hotdogs and would ask for them. I got so that I bagged them up for her even if she didn't show as I knew she would eventually. She slept under the drive-thru of a vacant fast -food place next door with her dog. One night the weather was particularly bad and I drove over to her and offered her a room. She was kind but refused. She said that the only thing that made her feel good about herself was what little help she took from other's. The hot dogs that she accepted from me, she only accepted because she KNEW they were being thrown away and I gave them to her discreetly. She shared them with her dog. They are poor but many of them do have a great deal of pride. I don't go out of my way to offer anymore. If asked, if i have it, I will give.

Thank you for sharing that experience and starting this discussion, I have learned something from it too. I will not make that mistake now that I have heard this from you. We all feel as if we are helping them but the way it went down they felt offended. Again thanks.

He must be having a high degree of self respect or confidence on his ability. He could have simply accepted the food from you, instead he picked it after dumped into garbage. The difference is so long you were giving it to him it was owned by you and it was like doing a pity to him. After you have abandoned ownership of the food, it was much acceptable for him to pick it up himself. I really have not come across such incidences.

i dont usually offer my left over food to anybody because i really feel that the person might get offended which happened to the thread starter.

Pride, self-worth, etc. Fine, I understand that. But also remember that often times the homeless are mentally ill. The sort of person who cannot afford a place to live unfortunately also cannot afford medication. Which means there are unstable people out there and you really shouldn't be hanging around strangers rooting through garbage cans. (For you own safety.) Leave that sort of thing to the soup kitchens, shelters, IHS, and so on.