A place in my heart... Letting go of my special someone...

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Like most of us who had felt so much love for someone, losing them unexpectedly would knock the life right out of us and leave us devastated for a long time... I have lost someone so dear to me. She had leukemia and I was not aware of it until the day she died. She never told me because she knew It would break my heart if I found out she was dying. The year before her death, she went away to another country. She said her family had to migrate there for work reasons. A year later, her mother gave me a letter from her daughter which she had written before she died, telling me the real reason why she had to move away. She was to be treated for her terminal disease and did not wish for me to see her undergo her physical changes as she went through her chemo therapy. Her family brought her remains back home and I never had the strength to attend her funeral. I was so devastated... Finally, after the years of guilt and regret, I finally had the courage to let her go. I wrote this poetry letter for her and It was the first time I went to her grave to read it to her and spent the whole day talking to her in spirit, asking forgiveness for not being able to attend her funeral. She had forgiven me and understood me, I know. Coz the pain and burden I had for years since her death has now gone away... This is my letter : It's been years since the day we first met It's been years since the day that you left It's been years since the day you've gone away I wish that I have told you "you're not alone" I would have been there for you if I've only known It's been years since the night we first danced It's been years since you held me in your arms It's been years since you caught me in a glance If I only knew that you would never make it back I would have told you that you have a place in my heart We never really had the chance to say goodbye You never even got the chance to see me cry I only wish I could have been by your side I'd hold your hand until you see Sometimes I think it's so unfair how life could cheat on you, beware I wish you knew how much I care Sometimes I could only wonder How things would be if you were still here Would we be the same as we were before? Memories are all I have in store If I only knew that you would never make it back I would have told you that you had a place in my heart We never really had the chance to say goodbye You never even got the chance to see me cry I only wish I could have been by your side I'd hold your hand until you see the light... Crizz B.