Dating someone who's married?

I don't think it is right either. I couldn't imagine finding out that my husband was with someone else. I don't know how anyone could do that to someone. I think I would probably do the same thing that you have done. I couldn't support my friend doing something like that. I think I would give her a chance to end it but if she didn't then I would be done with her until she did.

that's how my ex-sister inlaw broke up with husband, a few yrs back with a family friend and all. 6 kids were involoved and they all now live up in queensland australia. all seperated, my bro inlaw has a girlfriend but i don't know about anyone else. stu

i don't condone it but i wouldn't lose a good friend over her doing it. u got a walk a mile in other people's shoes sometimes.

I'd tell my friend that it's wrong, and that he/she should be prepared for the consequences of his/her actions. And that those consequences could be dire...

katsmeow, I am more shocked that you ended the friendship with the person. Do not judge so harshly! Right or Wrong it is their choice and their life, not yours to try to control. When you left you were trying to control them by saying my way or the highway. If I found out I might voice my concerns and be respectful, but in no way end a friendship because of it. What kind of friend would I be if I did that. Should things go wrong, they will need a good friend to lean upon. I read in your writing that it may prove useful to look into values and respect of other people's rights. I myself have high standards, but I do not condem those who fall. If we all were perfect, then why would we need friends.

"I am sure that if you read the bible you know hell is a place no human wants to go" Why thank you Captain Obvious. Anyway, back to the topic. While I don't agree completely with XiaXueYi on the point that everyone in this thread is adopting a holier-than-thou stance, I do agree that the bulk of posters here are ignoring the fact that: 1) The issue has been poorly specified. If both husband and wife have divorce letters in hand, I don't think that dating would be quite as sacrilegious as you guys make it out to be. 2) The OP is giving her friend the silent treatment. Way to go. Now all you need is a bag of popcorn to enjoy the dramaz. Have fun. It's like a theater now, you can watch what's going on, but you sure aren't going to be able to change it. Great job. You should be a therapist or something. 3) Extra-marital affairs are obviously wrong, and it's just stupid to keep posting in this thread to confirm that fact. Thank you. I'm sure your opinion matters more than what's already stated in the Bible. Now, if only we could get 129812679243 to repeat exactly the same thing. Oh wait, you already did. Now, what I don't agree with XiaXueYi: 1) No-one's passing judgment. I think assuming that every single one of them is using the vindictive finger-point like some drunken jury member isn't quite accurate or fair. They're just going by the simplest assumption that the OP's friend is having an affair with a married man (a logical progression from the word "dating", which has been poorly defined by our ever-helpful OP). They're just saying that having an extramarital affair is wrong, which isn't that judgmental in the first place, although a bit unnecessary. 2) "No number of prayers and chants will save your sorry souls" I think that's a little harsh. Condemning them to hell is a bit judgmental in itself. Anyway, I'm taking a neutral standpoint on this. I obviously don't condone adultery and the like, but the situation is so poorly described, I think it's fair that we open ourselves up to other possibilities. Either that, or the OP is one heck of a troll.

My step mother split up my parents, she then convinced my spouse to betray me it was a dual attack on me by both my mother and my step mother working behind the scenes. My spouse moved out of our house, we were together for a time in her house provided for her by her employer. Then my wife was once again deceptive and I had to leave, I've been out of that relationship for over a year, nearly a year and a quarter. This is a new year and after the past six nearly seven years of turmoil I'm looking to start new and fresh. I will put an end to that bad marriage and move forward with my life, does that make me a sinner? Or does that make me a human looking for love and understanding? What was lacking in my marriage? Should we all suffer in bad relationships when one partner decides to be evil? After all if the Church really cared they would have known that the truth was more important and exposing the truth would be more important than covering up any lies or false accusations. Then maybe my life would not be so messed up now would it? As soon as you make excuses for liars, you tend to judge the wrong people for sins that they never committed. If men and women love and respect each other they will have the trust to know that they are not available for other people and will not be seeking companionship in the arms of another. I think that is pretty basic, there are many other dynamics, mental dysfunction and abusive partners all of that, but basically, I think most of the problems is a lack of Love, and Respect... What does Love and Respect look like? You will know when you seek it because when you find Love and Respect you will not want to be very far from that Love and Respect that you have found.

I feel the same way as you do. I do not understand woman that do, if you want to date, date someone single. Do not become the other woman and screw up another ladies life.

I dont think it is right to judge anyone ... everyone has the right to do whatever they have to do to find out who they are in the universe ... God gives us choice and allows us that without judgement .... it seems you have made a choice ... the choice to judge and not be friends with your friend ... and if you can live with that .. thats kool ... peace to you ... but how do you feel? i bet you feel uneasy about your choice ....

I think the first thing I'd do is ask my friend if she had thought about the wife of the person they're seeing. What would be the reaction of the cheated-on wife if she found out about this affair? What is the marriage like? Are they going through a divorce? Do they have an open marriage? I was a cheated-on spouse and it nearly killed me to find out my husband had been cheating. As far as I knew, we had an excellent marriage. He loved me, or appeared to. I did all I could to be a good wife and friend to him. It tore my world apart to find out about my husband's catting around. I got so sick from depression I lost weight and went down to 80 pounds! If I had a friend like yours, and she had no feelings at all about the wife left at home, she would not be my friend any longer. I could not have a friend who did not have any conscience and was only thinking of herself because I would never do such a thing to another woman!

I don't agree with someone dating a married person, however I doubt that I would end the friendship as a result of. I wouldn't go on a doube date or anything but my friendships are not limited to any one thing that could break it up. There are many things that my friends do or say that I don't agree with. And probally the same for them. Based on your post, I am wondering what if the person was a member of your family? Would you cut that person off because they did something that you didn't agree with? Just seems a bit fickled that you will only associate yourself with people if they will only do what you feel is deemed as right.

Well if my friend asked for my opinion about it, I would tell her as honestly as I could but if she dosent ask me for my opinion I would just stay out of it, because sometimes a friend may get offended by the fact that you dont approve and take your advice the wrong way, as for me I feel the same as you when it comes to dating a married man thats defintly a no no for me, but I realize that not everyone feels the same when it comes to respecting other peoples marriage I just was raised different I just couldn't do that to a couple it just would feel wrong to me to date someone who's married or in a relationship.

Well I will try to talk to her, and convince her that a relationship with some one who is married is without any future. It is sure that she will suffer for sure. Well I will try to convince her, if she will not listen, I will tell her that is her responsability to face its concecuences and sure I will not confort her if somethings happen.

No. If I found out they were married I would break it off. I would feel bad for the wife. It's wrong to be commiting adultery with the guy.

I think its very wrong to do that, the bond of a family is very important and its going to be broken if they finds it out and its the fact that they will find it out. She should try to analyze the situation of the family she will be putting through. Women should be very careful in relationships and try to respect the family of whom you are dating as you becomes a devil to them and just imagine the pain you will be putting on the family members. Men usually are unpredictable and who knows he might be using her also. I really don't agree to the point in dating a married man.

My first question would be, is the spouse okay with it? It really doesn't matter what you think about the situation if the spouse is okay with the dating. Some relationships are open like that. If not, then it's not your friend's fault, really. She may not be helping matters, but if it's not her, the man would just go for someone else. The man knows he's married, he's the one at fault for it.

i know of someone who has the same situation as this discussion. We were all quite surprised .. if you look at the lady(single), you wouldn't say that she's the type of girl to have an affair with as you say someone married. I'm also against this type of relationship, it's what my friends call a "housewrecker". A lot of people get hurt even if they are not the principal subjects in the relationship.. Family, relatives, co-workers and friends are all involved

It's actually how you feel so confident being with the person, talking about anything knowing that nothing could come between the two of you because he's married. Sooner or later, you realize you're stuck with something that's not truly right and is actually against your principles. I know how it feels because I was in that situation a few years back. Well, it didn't really last long, and there wasn't any family broken either (thank goodness!). Anyhow, I still don't think it's right, and there's no such thing as 'because I love him/her', it all boils down to one thing BEING SELFISH. You had a choice to stop. You know it's wrong. You know perfectly that people would get hurt. You were never forced into it. You had the chance to get out. You knew that going through it all wasn't worth it. The wrong thing about what I did was the fact that nobody knew about it. I never consulted a friend because I was mature enough to know that it was wrong, but too immature to stop my foolishness. Nobody knew, but if there was someone who knew, I would have been happier if they tried their best to stop me. Of course, we all know that the efforts are futile because it all boils down to one thing it was my decision to be in it, it was my choice to leave it. But I sure wanted someone to snap me back to reality. Anyhow, I did actually end it, and I'm glad. I'm sure the guy would still attempt to find someone foolish enough, and I'm sure he'd find one. But I'm glad I had left and ended it without tarnishing a family. If I were a friend who knew about something like that, I would have done my best to stop it. I did actually, though the person didn't listen, I actually told her about my experience and that nothing good would ever come from stealing someone from their family and causing a good family to be broken apart. But well, at least I told her, and she would realize someday that I was right. I did stop communicating with the person too. Well, she stopped talking to me. But it's better that I don't talk to her anymore than to feel annoyed at how foolish she's wasting her life by starting a relationship with the wrong person.

I rarely impose myself on other people's personal lives so I might be OK with it. It all depends on what kind of marriage that person is in-if it's on the verge of divorce or they don't care about each other,why not? But if that person is lying to his family and has a bunch of kids and a loving wife/husband I would be opposed to it. Of course,things happen and most people don't plan on dating married people but there is a certain type of folks who enjoy the lack of responsibility and the whole hype about forbidden fruit. No obligations,no promises and you're almost always better than the life partner.

You are right not to condone such a lifestyle. Marriage is scared, holy and blessed by God and one of his commandment is that thou shall not commit adultry. The person who is involved with this person that is married is guilty of fornication and will be reprimanded by God for intervening into a relationship that is scared, holy and blessed by him, she is also committing fornication. Your aquaintance should desist from going further with the relationship, if he/she don't sooner or later the innocent party will find out and this can lead to destroying the marriage. Whan a man and a woman is married, they are joined together as one, not two persons, so it is not right for anyone to go in between and if it is the person who is married encouraged the outside relationship he/she is guilty of breaking God's Commandment of committing adultry and the Bible said that if you break one of the Commandment you are guilty of breaking all of it.