My Husband's Step Dad Passed Away

My husband lost both of his parents back in the 80's I believe but I'm not sure on that but my dad was like a father to my husband.

Bless your heart!! I haven't had to face that yet and have both of my parents but neither one are well. I thought I'd lose mine before the year was over but so far they're hanging on, thank God. But still, it's hard to know that I have mine and my husband has lost both of his. Life is so unfair sometimes.

Ok Doc, I've rested quite a bit today and I've finally come out of hybernation. lol I've got to tell you though, I needed it. I'm having such mixed feelings about the whole thing to be honest. I mean, I'm glad that chapter of my life is over. I've never wished either of them harm or bad luck but good ridance because they both were so mean to me. I'm the only in-law that stayed away out of 5 kids. The rest of them took their cr@p for what ever reason but I wouldn't and didn't. But at the same time, I feel for hubby because even though he loved them, they were mean to him too. He did his best to look past the bad side of them and defended me numerous times til they finally quit mentioning me. I don't know what I'm feeling exactly.... relieved, yes.... anxious, yes somewhat.... worried, yes but only about hubby and that's it but I don't want him home yet but yet I do. I know he's going to be a hell of a bear when he does come home and frankly, I do understand but I don't need to be around that..... at least not right now. I've reached the end of my rope and exploded once already and cried my heart out two times.... I just can't keep going through these emotions or I'm really going to lose it in the worst way and end up in the hospital. I certainly don't need that. I know I need to be there for hubby but damn it all, I've had enough of all these bad feelings.

I'm glad to hear that you've gotten some much-needed rest! Now, relax some more. One thing I've learned in my own life was not to worry about things until they needed to be worried about. It takes practice, but it can be done! So, okay, with your husband gone, you should be doing things to enjoy yourself. Relax, do what makes you feel good. Take this time to be a little bit selfish! Worry about what will happen once your husband gets home once he's home. There's nothing you can do about it before then, right? Hmmm, one question: Have you had your hormone levels checked recently? Even AFTER menopause our hormones can still be fluxuating, causing mood swings. Heck, I'm taking Premarin (HRT) and my doctor still checks my hormone levels occasionally! I just saw him last week, mainly because of feeling more tired than usual lately, and he said he wants to have my hormone levels checked again. Aw, heck, he said he wanted to do it after the first of the year and here it is, the first of the year... that means going in for more bloodwork. Sigh! Anyway, you're obviously the caregiver in your family. I think part of your frustrations right this moment are caused by your mixed emotions regarding your in-laws and the fact that YOU are not the one there, right now, handling things. Your husband is. Maybe you're feeling a little bit guilty for not being the one handling everything? You think? You need to learn how to let go and allow others to take charge in certain situations, like this one. I know you are doing that physically but, emotionally, I think you're feeling like you should be there with your husband, helping him. You are so used to being the only one around who can and is willing to handle everything, your subconscious doesn't want to allow you to sit back and relax while someone else handles it. Am I on target here or am I just blowing air? Think about it. If this is true, you're just going to have to learn that you are allowed to relax sometimes, too! Lord knows, you've earned it!

As they say Kat, better late than never .... which is so true. Thanks so much for having such a caring heart to want to say a few words. Not many people know what to say and don't even try. As for hubby, no, he's not taking it ok, he's real withdrawn and very angry and hurt. I was told it was normal emotions but it does have me worried but now that I have Gracie and her problems, hubby will have to deal with his a little more on his own.

Thank you bfarrier. That's very kind of you. I hope next year is a better year too because we've so had enough of this years hell. Hope you have a wonderful New Year too and a great night!

Thank you dreamweaverjan. I will tell him when he returns home in a few days. He's still at his sisters place until his step dad comes back from creamation. Now that that year is past us, I hope and pray we have a better year this year. I'm trying to be positive but it's hard and I know I have a hell of a guard up.

Thank you Vicstar.... You're very kind. Hubby is still at his sisters place and might come home tonight or tomorrow. He's trying to sound strong over the phone but being married to him for 17 years, I know it's a put on. I'll be there for him as much as I can once he's home but then I have my parents to care for as well.

Thank you dear gabs.... I hope 2009 will be kinder and sweeter than this year has been. We've been through the ringer and we're trying to stay afloat but dang, what a load to carry and for so darned long! I hope you have a wonderful New Year as well and thank you for being so caring and sweet! Hugs!

Thank you Opal.... Like you said, he's up with his wife where he wanted to be. It's really hard for my hubby to take being that he lost both of them in the same year. Hard for me too because I almost lost my mom but didn't. Kind of a cruel twist of fate? I don't know but I do know that I am glad mine made it, just wish she could get better and I too believe that once that house is sold, it'll be a load off of her and she'll heal faster. I can only hope and pray that 2009 will be a better year.