Do you get upset with your children if they break a new toy they just received?
By hdjohnson
@hdjohnson (2981)
United States
December 31, 2008 12:38pm CST
I had gotten upset with my son, because I bought him a race track set for his birthday last year, since I know he likes race cars, etc... It was a set that he could use to race his older sister or younger sister on with a remote controlled joystick. Well days after I purchased the set, one of the joy sticks stopped working after they kept running it in the ground day after day. I had given them the instructions of the do's and don'ts and kept watching them do the don'ts; in which I would, frequently punish him by taking the racetrack away for a while. You would think that after a while of this they would learn.
Well his grandmother purchased a new one race track set for him over the Christmas holidays. I have yet to put it together for him. It is a different style one. I'm sure he is going to love it as well, after he sees how it works. It's a magnetised one that operates off of batteries. It glows in the dark as well.
So now, I'll just make sure any new race tracks I buy for him, will be now battery or joystick operated, that way I won't have to get upset if he breaks it shortly after the purchase from frequent use. This way I can keep my sanity, and not get too upset from him just being a kid. After all when I was young around his age, maybe a few years older, I used to take my toys apart, just to see if I could put them back together again and find out how they worked.
What about you, and your family? Do you think I'm wrong for getting upset with him, especially given my background as a child his age or a little older?
3 people like this
10 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
31 Dec 08
Yes I do get upset when my kids break toys they have just had. I remember last year I bought them all doctor who toys for xmas only for them to just go around and break the whole lot a few days after. I told them then that they were not going to have lots of toys this year because of that and I stuck to my word too they did not get a lot of toys.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Jan 09
Its not about holding a grudge, you cant hold a grudge against children, it is about looking at the way they treat things, they did not appreciate the toys they were getting because within days they were breaking everything. Maybe they were getting too much but whatever the reason I made the decision to limit the amount of things they were getting, instead of hundreds of main items I allowed them one big main item. The economic situation was not a factor either as I had saved for xmas from the January.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
2 Jan 09
That is one of the first smartest things I have read. Most people wait until the last minute to start saving or at least setting aside money for Christmas, like around December, and then they end up going into debt, just to attempt to make other people happy. You actually did better than I did, I started around July or August, but you started right of the bat from January.
That is a great way to ensure you have enough. Making sure that they got something, is so important to me, which is why I started earlier in the year. I don't blame you for keeping your word, as it will teach them to honor their word and to control their behavior more. Kudos for that well taught lesson.
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
1 Jan 09
Wow, I've heard of holding a grudge but for a full year. I wonder if any of the economic situations had anything to do with you keeping that promise.
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
1 Jan 09
I wouldn't exactly say you're wrong to be upset it's always nice to think things will last a bit longer than a second (so to speak). The reality is, children do not get the concept of treating possessions with respect.
I used to take care of all my elder sons toys but as the years went on and after having more children, I gave up. It's definitely not worth the agony or the strain.
You just reminded me, I still have some toys from when my 31 year old was a youngster. Mind you, he wss pretty good at taking care of his stuff and still is.
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
1 Jan 09
Wow, seems like at this point the only things I am able to ensure my son doesn't break or tear up now are things that he only has limited access too. Like the toys he is only allowed to play with on occasion.
That is so great to hear. Now that I have seen your response, it gives me a better perspective and a deeper hope that I will be able to teach him how to be a better steward.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
1 Jan 09
no I don’t but then I don’t buy my son anything immediately afterwards. The basic idea is the fact that children are meant to break toys, if they play with it as they want then what’s the point in buying it for them? But they also need to be taught to value their own things. So once my son breaks something and wants a replacement, I would never buy it for him again so that he has to learn to be careful with it. Maybe four or six months later I would buy something similar for him but I would also remind him of the way he treated his previous toys and tell him to be more careful.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Good reasoning and logical way of putting it. I agree with your assessment. Thanks for your valuable input.
@misspipsi (237)
• Bulgaria
31 Dec 08
Well...I would get upset if the toy is expensive but I don`t care if the toy is cheap.Anywayzz if the toy is expensive I won`t say anything because it`s a celebration at all.If the toy is cheap I`ll even buy a new one so the kids are going to be glad about it.HAPPY NEW YEAR!Happy MyLotting!BYE!
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
1 Jan 09
Expense wasn't even a thought at first, but truly the part about being able to follow simple instructions was.
@saichandtalluri (1486)
• India
1 Jan 09
Yes i will because we spend more time to select what gift to be given but they just break it in a second. Its better if we present them sponge gifts such as puffed toys and teddy bears so that they never break.
@moneytalk (26)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
yaa some time i get upset because when i was young i never break anything, but them you gave them a new toy in few minutes it is gone, they do lot of research on toys inside body parts maybe they are going to be mechanic or researchers in the future haaa..ha
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Yeah, that way if any thing ever went wrong with our family car, then they could fix it right?! Ha Ha.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
31 Dec 08
What you described is typical kid behavior. Of course it sort of depends on the age, which you didn't mention here.
If he's like 10 or older, than he should be getting the idea of how to take care of his toys, but even my 11 year old breaks things from time to time and looses pieces, etc.
I think you handled it right by taking it away for a little while. But you shouldn't get too upset. He's excited with his toy and kids have a pretty short memory span, espeically when it comes to do's and don'ts.
If my kids break a toy I normally don't buy it for them again, at least not for a long time, until they're a little older and wiser about how to care for things. If you keep buying them the same toy over and over it only teaches them that they don't need to be careful, because if it breaks you'll just get them a new one.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
31 Dec 08
You are right. But I didn't buy him another one, it was his grandmother and it is a more sensible one that the one I purchased. It doesn't have a joystick at all. I main thing that I have to be concerned about with this one is that he doesn't allow it to running all over the house. As that will definitely tear up his magnetism in the cars itself.
@mkmoney (468)
•
31 Dec 08
well not really if its an cheap toy, i would care if its expensive well i will just buy them another one really to be honest
how much would a lil toy cost lol. i wouldnt punish them i will give them 3 chances but
if they break more then 3 there will be a consequence.
happy new year 2009
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
31 Dec 08
That's a sensible way of looking at it.
The race track I purchased wasn't expensive, it was more or less the fact that I had get telling them over and over that they could allow the cars to be drop on the carpet, or else that would prevent the cars from receiving the power needed in order to make it go.
@stejhas (209)
• United States
31 Dec 08
I think it's okay to teach your kids to be careful with their toys, clothes, and everything else they have... it teaches them respect. On the flip side, if a child intentionally ruins his/her toys/clothes/etc, I don't think you should get angry OR go buy a new toy... that is part of them "Learning"! They ruined their toy, they should have to do without it!
The only exception in getting them a new toy would be if he/she asked for a new one for a birthday or christmas gift... I think it would be okay to get a new one, assuming that IS their gift, not just an extra on top of the gifts he/she was already going to get. Or better yet, give them the opportunity to EARN one by doing chores, or give them an allowance for chores so they can buy a new one themselves!
As a parent, I know how hard it is to not get upset when a child ruins something... especially toys that are new, or were really expensive, etc.... but the bigger deal is to make it a learning experience for our kids... broken toys give us a perfect opportunity to teach a valuable life lesson!!!
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
31 Dec 08
The race track I purchased wasn't expensive, it was more or less the fact that I had get telling them over and over that they could allow the cars to be drop on the carpet, or else that would prevent the cars from receiving the power needed in order to make it go.
I don't go out replacing toys that they break. Otherwise they would never learn the lesson of responsibility or more or less learn how to follow instructions. Heck I've even thrown away some toys for repeated mis behavior. This of course was after the warning had been mentioned that if they didn't act better or didn't straighten up, that that would end up being the consequence of their misbehavior.
After a few times of their toys being thrown away, their attitudes straightened up, followed by the behavior as well. I don't like to physically spank them, unless they have been blatantly disruptive or disrespectful towards their mother or myself. Thanks for your contribution to my discussion! Have a Happy New Year!
@savspiceshh (1)
• United States
2 Sep 09
I just decided that my children will no longer get toys until they prove they are capable of taking care of them. I just had to throw out a kitchen that i have fixed repeatidly and my children continue to break. After several warnings and several fixings i have decided the only way to get my point accross is to throw it out. Christmas will be clothes and books...until further notice. No it is not wrong to get upset. Taking care of their toys is just one simple way to teach them to be responsible.
