what if your man broke your arm and your leg would you stay with him?

no I would not stay with anyone who beats me up, but she has got to realize for herself that she cannot go back, as long as she gets out and goes back there is nothing anybody can do to help her. He yes should be arrested but she should also stop going back. There are shelters for women etc she can go there but they will tell her the same she has to stop going back to him.

I think some women are just like that with a twisted sense of love and allegiance. No matter how much you try to drill sense into her, she will not listen until she herself feels the need too. I know its painful but you can only watch and wait and hope its not too late. You can of course try for psychological counseling but I doubt if she would ever agree to it.

No, I would not stay with a man who has caused me bodily harm . Your friend does need to get away from this man. If she values her life she needs to get away fast because it's obvious he does not know where to draw the line and he will kill her at some point and time if she keeps on going back to him.She needs serious professional consoling because it's obvious she isn't thinking clearly because no logical woman of sound mind would return to a abusive man. I wish her the best of luck regarding this, don't give up on her, she really does need your friendship.

No way I would stay. My man knew from the day we got together that the 1st time he EVER lays a hand on me he is gone. I will not tolerate such behaviour and I will not subject my children to it. The only way your friend can be helped is to help herself and leave for good and cut off contact with this man. If he is on the most wanted list someone needs to find out where he is and turn him in and then he can not hit her again.

For the love of God...I pray that I would never meet a man like this. Because if i do...he will be sorry he meet me in the first place. I will never let anyone beat me physically. I will fight...even if I love him.

well after breaking all the major parts of human body, how can someone move?so there is no other option than staying with him. the day you will learn to crawl without hurting your legs and hands then you can move. but till that i think you have to stay with him...happy new year.

SHe need to go to a abuse house and stay. and some how get it in her head that he will end up killing her or she him! Same thing happened to one of my friends but the brusies were hide real good. For 5 years I didnt know he beat her and we spent almost every night up talking! and then she had enough and shot him while he was coming after her.

I would report this case to the police or to any other organisation that might be of help. If she is not going to gather her self dignity nobody is going to respect her. She deservs better than this, otherwise next time she is going to pay with her own life.

She clearly needs serious help. I would take her by the hand and have her get a restraining order and run not walk to the nearest battered woman's shelter hopefully they can access her and help her get the help she needs, she should also be evaluated psychologically because clearly she is a danger to herself. Stick with her she needs your support.

i think sh eis out of her mind to stick on to him. i hope she is not into pain and enjoying the torturing at his hands. It is senseless to carry on which such a relationship. one has to be mad to still cling to the relationship. She must jsut quit and move out and have nothing to do with him again.

is there any other option that you have left with ? when your major parts are broken then how can you move?and dont know what else in his mind to break yours. so its a better idea to stay with him. and the day you will learn to crawl you can move slowly away from him.but, till then its a better idea to stay with him...wish you a very happy new year.

well is there any other option ? when your major parts are broken how can you move? so its better to stay with him. otherwise who knows he will shut down your whole system. so as long as your system is running and you have the ability to think what to do with the situation ,you must have to stay with him. the day you learn to cral without the help of those parts then of course you can move but till then better idea to stay with him...happy New Year.

oho never live with such a person he/she does love you anymore there is no meaning in this life. better plan out a better life

I think that she's out of her mind. I'm sorry for telling you this but i don't really see why she wants him still after what he did to her. What kind of woman will love a person like that? This is the first time that i read something like this and i don't know really if her senses are still right or she's going blank because of love. Try to advice her that its not appropriate already to still love a person who doesn't respect her to the extent of breaking her arm and leg.

Well here we are into a New Year, and the same old story is being posted again and again. And why? Let's look at what we teach each other? Let's look at our RELIGIOUS beliefs and how these people create the mayhem that the rest of us have to suffer through... We can find plenty of posts examining the flaws of the followers of religions. Shall I give a few links for example? How does a person get involved with a maniac that thrives on Power and Control and how do these IDIOTS (I don't often use that word but it is so appropriate) in the Professional world allow abuse to flourish? This is the real dangerous part for the love of money, these Professionals have worked out a system to create and allow emotional harm to come to others like a trap and if you physically react you are an abusive person. To fight back in reaction is just the same as being the abuser. So how do you break the cycle? First don't follow the bad suggestions made by Professionals, we need to face the facts. Our DEFINITION OF LOVE needs to be fixed. What you have described is that Brenda is in a relationship filled with HATE and HATRED is caused when people take away instead of giving. They display an attitude of DESTRUCTION. You will know them by their fruits. They take away dignity, and cause much pain both emotionally and physically. An abusive person is not interested in saving the wealth and health of their family they take the ability away, they take away the peace and rest that could be obtained, they take away the ability to vacation, they take away the keys to happiness, there is great loss associated with an abusive person. I can look back at my life and trace my losses with an emotionally abusive mate, there were and are many as she never gave herself to be a part of me and trust me to be her guide and her protector. She treated me like the object of provision like a slave and then tried to project to the rest of the world that she was the victim of some sort of abuse. So women and men can hold the reigns of abuse in their hands, it is just that some women have less physical ways of abusing their mates. We are all human and we can all make mistakes, the real concern is that we learn from our mistakes, but if the mistake or abuse continues it is a pattern of abuse and no one should have such a low self esteem as to need to stay in a relationship where there is any pattern of abuse. Brenda needs to learn the true definition of love and what to look for in a healthy relationship. Brenda also has to look at herself and check that she doesn't project and cause any of this abuse through emotional manipulation. I would say that the man is lacking some mental ability to control his actions and if Brenda is innocent she needs to find a man that is healthy and stay away from this polluted soul. If Brenda is not innocent then she has work that she needs to do before getting into another relationship. Do you understand my advice? Do you need links to other conversations to prove that there are plenty of bad people exhibiting hatred and promoting hatred instead of seeking to find peace and healing? I can show you the way as a guide, and if you can get your friend to see and know of what I write about. I hope that we can all find Peace and Blessings in this New Year, Happy 2009, Sincerely, Gary

http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1801073.aspx There is a cycle to abuse and reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. In the discussion above I posted that cycle. Rather than repost I though I would just provide the link. Would I stay? Well no, but it is easier said than done. People get conditioned. Within an abusive relationship especially the cycle is all you know and the fear of loss, the fear that no one else will ever "love" you again in your life is crippling. Believe me the abuse becomes one of the forms of "love" within the cycle. Until the abused partner can step out of the cycle it is nearly impossible to help them.

Can't you report this to the police or something? They treat reports with confidentiality right? You're right. This has to stop and because you're concerned, I think you could help stop this. That girl isn't in love with that man. She just thinks she is. She can end up hating you, but what matters more? That your friend is safe, or that your friend "thinks you're her friend".

I can understand how upsetting and frustrating this must be, if I were in your show I'd be mad at both him and my friend! I don't know what is wrong with her. You said she was Christian? Could a church help, like having a pastor talk to her and maybe convince her to leave him? I don't know if that would work at all, or if anyone can talk sense into her. I think, like an alcholic, she just has to hit bottom and realize she has a problem. She seems to be in denial of the situation. Unfortunately, until she decides to face reality, the reality that he is a monster who will kill her if she stays, there is really nothing you can do.

I don't know why she he is beating i want you to ask him. Whats the reason he is kicking her.!!

I say Brenda is not crazy, but i think she has a very low self esteem. Battered women usually have this problem. First she meets a man who promises all the world to her, then they enter a serious relationship, and the guy starts beating up the woman. The woman thinks, "He's just confused, he's depressed, he had a bad childhood, I can change him." Sadly, in most cases, she can't. The worse thing is SHE THINKS THAT NO OTHER MAN WILL EVER LOVE HER LIKE HE DOES. This is the reason why she thinks she can never let him go. If there is some way, or better, someone who can make her change the way she thinks, boost her self esteem and make her realize that she is a beautiful, desirable woman, she'd be happier...safer.