To flirt with somebody when You are already a MARRIED person
By liisafiat
@liisafiat (659)
Latvia
January 2, 2009 2:45pm CST
I was just thinking...About flirting... And when a married person starts (or participates) in a flirt that does not involve his/her engaged partner... IS IT ETHICAL?
Is such flirt acceptable? Ethical?
Maybe it shows a disrespect to the one that You married to? Or maybe it is just beginning for a break-up? A sign that relations does not work as they should work?
What Do You think about this: a married person that flirts with others than his/her partner. Is it cheating?
7 people like this
17 responses
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 09
I don't know how to explain it in this case. Because of the word 'flirt', this kind of social activity meant not to my partner. Flirting to grow up biz networking, I think much practical and have some degree of ethical. Because it is not a serious relationship...LOL!!!. Yeah...I understood the sentiment value played in my partner's mind and feeling able to highlights jealousy.
Nope, not cheating at all. You know why, liisafiat. After doing flirting I feel some refreshment in my mind and very energetic. Once energized, my partner can share with me the high level of synergism.
2 people like this
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 09
Kah Kah Kah...come on...come on...come on, liisafiat. Please understand me, I just being left with not even one single word for me as a 'frech-lullaby' - by my girlfriend couple of months ago. She said I cheated her and she quit from my friend's list at myLot, facebook and blocked me at YouTube. I explained to you actually my honest true life story. Am a single parent since 12 years ago. I still don't understand why she said I cheated me. Of course, I jokes around with my female myLot friends while responding to many females discussion.
OK - Back to your 'chronic question'.
Your Question in BOLD font; My Answer in PLAIN font. Here we go;
So there are not always attention and energy that You can get out of Your real partner, yes?
Come on, liisafiat. To my partner I rendered my deep love, and flirts is my deeeeeep biz networking. You know what, liisafiat?. Sometimes I want to enjoy jokes with my lovely partner, at that spicy time, she said "nO nEeD"...so no room for me sometime to be cheeky enough to spice up my love to her. You understand what I mean?.....yeah GOOD, I heard your heart said for YES just now (huhhhhhhh...release and relief)
Or maybe he is asking too much from You, and this is why a feed of energy we search on the OUTSIDE?
What???...she's the one always in less, mannnnnnn!!!. So I have to find an equilibrium of energy OUTSIDEEEE....satisfied with my answer, liisafiat?. GOOD again. Thank you.
By flirting to others that are not Your partners?
Of course...I have and NEED to do that way...what a poor me, liisafiat. Don't you feel pity on me?.
No more question?...may I go home !!!... bye for now !!!
1 person likes this
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
4 Jan 09
Why did she leave You? Well, maybe because flirt... it is a cheating??
Flirt sooner or later grows into `something`. If You flirt with somebody else while being a married or in the relationship, it means You have intentions for other person. Because Your lady did not want to feel like a `thing` that You buy once, and then go to the shop and search for other one?
Well, jealousy is completely different feeling from love. Where is love- there should not be wishes to make other partner jealous. By flirting with others? Because jealousy is a BAD and NEGATIVE emotion. If my partner would feel joy in bringing BAD emotions to me: I would do the same as Your lady did: leave him as soon as possible!
1 person likes this
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
2 Jan 09
Heehhe, Okey...
Also good point.
So there are not always attention and energy that You can get out of Your real partner, yes?
Or maybe he is asking too much from You, and this is why a feed of energy we search on the OUTSIDE? By flirting to others that are not Your partners?
Also good point.
So there are not always attention and energy that You can get out of Your real partner, yes?
Or maybe he is asking too much from You, and this is why a feed of energy we search on the OUTSIDE? By flirting to others that are not Your partners?2 people like this
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
3 Jan 09
Dear friend,
If the flirting is just for a time pass with the wiliness of spouse I hope it do not have any harm for both as both cooperate and do not find any fault in that. But if the spouse do not like it and if the flirting is with an intention to cheat the other I hope it is cheating. I hope it would be cheating two people if the person flirted do not know the person is married. Hence I feel it would be a cheating depending upon the intention of flirting.
2 people like this
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
4 Jan 09
Intentions of a flirt are very important...And to get a flirt and start to like a person who, at the end, turns out to be `not so single afterwards` is embarassing and egoistic. He got the feeling of Your attention, and then goes back to his loved one. Yaik!
Thanks for response.
1 person likes this
@LadyWinter (195)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think that, and it has already been said, it depends on how your partner feels. My husband knows I would not tolerate it at all even a little, and he feels the same way. It is definately a discussion that a couple should have so no misunderstandings are caused. Flirting, imo, is usually done for attention or so the person feels attractive or because they are looking for someone. If you are not looking for someone, and your partner is making you feel attractive and giving you lots of attention then I dont think the desire will be there to flirt.
Personally, I dont need reassurance that someone else finds me attractive as long as my husband does.
2 people like this
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
2 Jan 09
That depends on the marriage. If the spouse doesn't consider it cheating, then it isn't. A lot of times, flirting is just a socially acceptable way to let the other person know they're desirable. Sometimes the opposite number isn't even interested sexually, it's more of a "Hey, you're cute." Period. But if your partner considers it cheating, then it is. It's all in viewpoint.
Honestly, I rather prefer it to the old wolf whistle. That one offended me right down to my toenails!
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
2 Jan 09
So it all depends from `what a married partner says`?
Would You accept if Your partner starts to show-off his attention to others? Maybe from Your friends You will receive comments like: "Yesterday Your husband/wife paid a cup of tea to a beautiful person in the restaurant..." : how would You react? 
Or winked at...Or...
Or winked at...Or...2 people like this
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Unfortunately, if I let it get to me (like I used to), I'd be nuts by now. He works in a factory where the comments range from mildly raunchy to wildly inappropriate. They're mostly women, and very dirty minded. They might be willing to go further than talk, but I trust him. I've been married to him for 25 years. He's married to me and to work.
Yes, they invite him out for drinks after work. Most of the time he doesn't go, but I've pushed him into going. The guys from there go too, and the women give them as much of a hard time. It's mostly just rough humor. The same women used to take me out. They loved turning me red!
I guess it all boils down to trust. When we were first married, it bothered me a lot. I used to follow him, to see if anything was happening. Those things do. But I was foolish then. I couldn't trust anyone.
@tkleyr (406)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
I think if you're married already you should not flirt somebody anymore. It is the start of a future serious quarrel. In the first place, if you truly love your partner you should not engage your self to somebody else. Some may say that it is just a social admittance that you admire somebody. But for me the word flirting is associated to a person with desire more than the word admire. If you admire somebody just admire him or her and do not start flirting. Once again just remember the word respect and loyalty.
@vindiku (255)
• India
4 Jan 09
Such a person, whether its a man or woman, who flirts with others while he is engaged is a liar. One should not trust such a guy or gal even in your dream. My thoughts on this is that such a deed will always be against the ethics. In such a situation that guy or gal will be cheating both you and his partner at the same time.
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
4 Jan 09
The one who flirts is a liar and we should not trust that type? Nice. Thanks.
Because, if we imagine a scene: he is in the relationship with a lady, and starts to flirt with other lady `from the outside`: his lady will feel bad, other lady will feel happy: but only until she finds out that he already has somebody else. I can agree with this one. Totally!
So the only winner would be the one who flirts: he gets the feeling of control and makes two ladies unhappy, while staying TOP man for BOTH ladies. Cool.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I don't think it is cheating but it sure is the road to cheating. There is no reason in my book for a partner to flirt with someone unless he/she is looking for something else. It is just wrong and there is no other way I can look at this.
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
3 Jan 09
I find this highly annoying hense the reason I'm no longer friend with this girl who I've known for over 20 years. Not only did she flirt but she also ended up in bed with every guy she was flirting with! It was discusting. I say, when you're not married, it's fine but marriage? I wouldn't and I disagree with it. Sometimes the person being flirted with can get leaded on and take it the wrong way and this can also lead to marriage problems or maybe even break it up.
Have a nice night
1 person likes this
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
5 Jan 09
I think it depends on the people involved. I know people who are natural flirts, but can get away with it because everyone, including their spouse, knows their personality and thinks nothing of it. I know other people who are instinct by anyone's flirting.
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Hello liisafiat! Flirting is not good especially when you are married. It's like your trigerring someone to flirt with you too. A flirt married man/woman most likely to engage extra - marital activities. Better just focused on our partner and show how much we love them than wasting our time flirting.
@arrah_1027 (190)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Flirting on a married status is one way of cheating. A sign of boredom to your partner.It is not acceptable in our culture and not ethical. I just wonder,married men that flirts don't get condemn very hard by the people but when its the married women who flirts,a big issue arise.
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Ooohhhh...this is crossing onto such a topic that only if half the population were to understand, there would be more happy married couples, as well as regular ones. I say this, because so many times I've seen people flirt as or to a married person. I myself am dating someone who is overseas in Iraq and I've gotten some people telling me things that are borederline...tempting and inappropriate. I don't understand why they won't give me the decency to respect me. To me, they are flirting. Perhaps they don't know it. But, when those from my past are telling me how unhappy they are now and how they were a better person while I was with them, it's just as bad as flirting. I mean, what person doesn't like to hear great things about themselves? What an ego trip that is!
Just because there's no ring on my finger, respect me as if I do, that's what I'm thinking.
*Pleiades
1 person likes this
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
4 Jan 09
That can be so irritating, those people from the past...Trying to start conversation of `good-old-times` when everything is already passed...
1 person likes this
@AKMEDIA2 (328)
• United States
4 Jan 09
Flirting as a married person is wrong but this shouldn't be understood. Sometimes some people are naturally more flirtatious than others and so they sometimes don't know that their doing it. It's between spouses to discuss this sort of thing.
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
It is improper to flirt around when you are already committed especially if you are married. In the first place what is the purpose of flirting? Flirting would only mean you are opening yourself to cheating and eventually adultery. As much as possible you always have to be loyal with your partner to avoid any forms of temptations and may lead on damaging the marriage. My two cents.
@manixxx (116)
• Japan
3 Jan 09
it is UNETHICAL, obviously. you are already married or committed to someone, and so, you have no right to flirt again with somebody. it is also an insult to your loved one because it shows that you are not serious with her/him. so, i would say it is not ok to flirt someone, especially, if you are a married person.
@ulalume (713)
• United States
3 Jan 09
I dont think I would consider it "cheating", simply because flirting is a very less extreme form of communication with someone else. Flirting is a complicated subject. I know that I enjoy compliments from other women, but usually I just feel uncomfortable because I love my girlfriend so much. When I see other men flirting with my girl, I am also uncomfortable. Its not that it is "wrong", but that doesn't mean it is right either. I suppose what makes it wrong is when a married (or partnered) individual begins flirting with other people. It is just disrespectful in my mind. It is something that can be worked through easier than say someone cheating (sexually) in a relationship, inevitably.
So the bottom line for me is it can be wrong, but it is not cheating (however, I still needs to be discussed in the relationship). I suppose it needs to be taken into account that most couples are different, and some may be okay with flirting outside of the relationship. Like, "look, but dont touch!"
