Is it possible for a five year old to be gay?
By Opalina143
@opalina143 (1240)
Morristown, New Jersey
January 2, 2009 4:44pm CST
There is this little boy in my sister's class who is five. His favorite color is pink. When he swims in the pool he has a pink Princess Jasmine bath towel. He likes to play with the girls all the time, and his favorite game is Pretty Pretty Princess. I swear I'm not making this up. He brought Barbies to school for show and tell. He told his teacher that he wants to wear a dress.
You would think the kids would tease him a lot, but the teacher's aid says they don't, and says they are too young to really care. Do you think his mother is doing the right thing in dressing him in pink and buying him Barbies? She says she's just giving him what he wants.
My friend the teacher's aide, who is really for gay rights, thinks its great to support him in being different and great that he knows what he is at such a young age, if he is actually gay. The thing is, I support people who are gay and all, but I'm unsure about this.
Can a kid this young be gay? Would he even know yet, and how should his teachers and his mother be handling it?
7 people like this
18 responses
@livewyre (2450)
•
3 Jan 09
I wonder if people involved in this discussion appreciate that homosexuality is not about playing with dolls and dressing in pink. If I might remind everybody that it is about a male finding other males to be sexually attractive. Lots of kids don't conform to what their parents and teachers might expect. If a girl plays with toy trains and remote control cars, does that make her a five-year old lesbian - c'mon....!
Five is not an age at which sexuality can be considered a serious issue, when he starts kissing and it's NOT girls, then you can have a proper discussion about being gay or straight...
1 person likes this
@opalina143 (1240)
• Morristown, New Jersey
3 Jan 09
That's true LiveWyre I'm glad you pointed that out. I guess the thing is, there are stereotypes of how gay people are like, you know, how they talk and the things they like, just how they're are stereotypes about all kinds of groups. Like Italians love to shout and eat, Jewish mothers are controlling, and gay men love musical theater. I think sometimes these stereotypes are harmless but yes they can be harmful too and of course it shouldn't be taken for granted that people act a certain way.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
Hi opalina, People are born gay so of course it is possible! His mother nor anyone else can make him gay if he isn't, nor can they change him if he is. My hope for all the gay children being born today is that the world will be more understanding and tolerant in another ten years. The way to handle all children is with love, real and unconditional love. Blessings.
@livewyre (2450)
•
3 Jan 09
I'm with target - all the studies to try and find a gay gene have concluded that such a gene does not exist - it's a preference, we develop preferences. Gay activists have tried to show that there is no choice involved - but this is an unsustainable argument IMO. If someone can show that you can be born with a preference for one thing over another, we could end up with idiots wanting gene therapy to make sure their kids support the right football teams...!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
3 Jan 09
actually they have found a gay gene. Go to youtube and watch the video "for the bible tells me so." the link is actually in one of my discussions. It is a very moving documentary and you will clearly see the damage being done to these children by painting them as freaks for being something that they can't help being. Whatever the cause of homosexuality...does it really matter? What matters is that it exists and we have so many more important issues to pay attention to than this. Who really cares if they are gay or not and why would you care? It is their business who they form a relationship with. It should not be anyone else's concern. It doesn't or shouldn't affect us in any way.
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
Well, it is said that you are born gay or straight, that it's not an active decision, so why not? I think most little boys would oppress those feelings to fit in if they were, but obviously not in this case. My best guess is that, yes, he probably is gay.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
2 Jan 09
The boy is 5 years old, he would not have a clue about what is doing really. He is to young to know the difference. All children go through the stage of being the totally opposite of what they are.
Happy Mylotting
@livewyre (2450)
•
3 Jan 09
While is IS said, it is NOT said by those that have actually managed to find any proof of any sort. The 'gay gene' hunt has shown that such a gene does not exist and does not make any sense in the scientific community. Sexuality is far to complex to simply class everybody as just 'gay' or 'straight' from birth. I just thought of something related to the left-handed and right-handed arguments that people use to illustrate an attribute you can be born with - what left-handed people never use their right hand at all??? for anything??? It's a nonsense IMO - sorry, but there it is.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
3 Jan 09
Correct; no gay gene, the idea is nonsense. I suspect this boy has been encouraged to like such things by his parents
all the best urban
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
3 Jan 09
He may not know what "gay" means but gay people are born gay. I think it is great how is mom is handling it and also how the teacher is. It is good for the child to be accepted just as he is and it is also good for the other kids to learn to accept the differences in others. We are all individuals and this is the perfect age to teach them acceptance of each others differences. Quite obviously it does not make him any less likeable and it shouldn't as long as adults don't interfere and poison the kid's thinking. It's being handled perfectly!
@urbandekay (18278)
•
3 Jan 09
There is much evidence to suggest that homosexual people are not born that way, and little to suggest that converse, you merely state your prejudice
all the best urban
@jingbautista (2456)
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
wow. this is shocking huh.. i think the mother should not or should stop what she is doing. you see, what would become the picture in the mind of the kid is that what he is doing is right, which is not.. the kid is the biggest loser after all when he would be grown up. the society would not accept him and even the Bible.. so i suggest, that at this very young age, the parents should do something.. and with that, his mindset would be change. kids are too young to be gay.. its environment is making him one...
@urbandekay (18278)
•
3 Jan 09
You are making the logical fallacy of begging the question, it seems more probable that the parents have encouraged this behaviour
all the best urban
@opalina143 (1240)
• Morristown, New Jersey
2 Jan 09
Well..I admit, I haven't read the bible cover to cover- but I don't recall reading anything against boys wearing pink of playing with dolls.....but I do see that's not what you are saying. I guess it depends whether you view being gay as a good or bad thing.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
3 Jan 09
Again you are begging the question, you have decided he is gay and you don't know that
all the best urban
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
3 Jan 09
Ummm he is 5 there is nothing wrong with any of what you said. My son is 6 and he has from a young age played with dolls it does not mean they are gay. It means they are sensitive and a lot of straight men are sensitive. Kids at that age don't know anything about gender gap and they don't care.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
I think that the boy is too young to understand what being gay means. Just becuase he like girly things that does not mean that he will turn out to be gay when he gets older. A have a frield who used to play with dolls and other girl things when he was a little boy but he did not become gay when he grew up. I think that we should not stereotype people to begin with. People change their preferences as they grow older.
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Uh, what the h€ll does liking pink makes him gay? I think he is too young to know about that. Uh, and when I was little I knew girls who liked to play with boy toys and didn't like to wear dresses, so did that make them lesbi@ns? I think not! It will depends on what he does in the future. If the parents don't approve of it then they need to limit his "girly" side and give him some "boy" toys...however you said his parents are supporting him....so I say it's too hard to tell if he is gay or not. I believe it's a personal decision.
Pablo
@Galena (9110)
•
3 Jan 09
he just likes what he likes.
I wouldn't say that any of that is a sign of being gay. he's clearly just grown up in a household that doesn't inflict gender stereotypes on him, and he happens to prefer those sort of things.
there's nothing wrong with a boy liking dolls.
there's no such thing as boys toys and girls toys, really. just toys which are marketed at girls and toys which are marketed and boys.
good for him for liking what he likes, regardless of stereotypes.
@sameroad (3179)
• United States
3 Jan 09
You know... The other day when i was walking my dog this little 5-8 year old boy and some other kids were riding there bikes past me and they were talking about something and the one little boy said something "hes my ex boyfriend" and then they all looked at me really fast with like this "OMG look of fear" and the little girl said something about he shouldn't say things like that when there is people around..
i was like "dang...hes 7 and already knows hes gay" they are getting younger and younger..
I think you can know your gay at that age. kids aren't dumb. they understand what love is... i knew i was gay when i was 10. i messed around with a girl in the 5th grade. it's not like you "become" gay as you get older. you are born that way.. some people just don't show it till later on.. other never give it a second thought and just do what they feel... and just because he acts that way doesn't really mean he is "gay" maybe he is transgender? or maybe he just likes girls things.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
3 Jan 09
I'm not sure; my nephew went through such a phase, when he was around 4-5 years old. He loved any colors that are feminine - pink, purple, orange. He liked the 13 Princesses and Barbie, and played with his sister's toys like cooking, dolls.
Yet he was very sure he's a boy. I asked him once if I should get him a dress, and he replied 'No, dresses are for girls'. I probed further and asked 'I thought you like to be a girl', and his amazing reply was 'no, I don't want to be a girl. I like girls'. 
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
3 Jan 09
It is perfectly normal for a child that young to dress any way. it is not that the child is doing it deleberately. it is how you are brought up. it all depends on teh atmosphere at home. His mother must have wanted adaughter and when a son ws born, she must jsut be fulfiling her desire to have a daughter by dressign him up like a girl. As he grows he will change. his mother too will realise that enough is enough. As a child it reeally does not mattter but not after growing up.
@kuldeepsimar42 (12)
• India
3 Jan 09
dont you think its too early to tell?
i mean he is just 5
there can be many reasons why he is doing that
maybe due to some family situations and many other possible situations
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think it is possible but he doesn't realize that part yet. A 5 year old isn't interested in girls or boys at that age, they just want to play and have fun. He may just be really feminine. Most if not all gay people will tell you they were born gay, so if he is gay then he would gay at 5. I had a friend who liked pink and liked to play with Ken dolls and he turned out to be gay. A kid I was in school with was always friends with girls and was really feminine and he was too. I think his mother is doing great by supporting him and letting him have what he wants. The kids may never care how he acts if this is how they get to know him now. I think he teachers and his mother should let him be however he wants to be. If he is gay or straight he should be proud of who he is and not change for anyone.
@poisonivez (504)
• Norway
3 Jan 09
Thats also the question that i wanted to ask. My nephew who just turned 8 this november acts like gay. My father would always scold him because he doesnt act the way other boys act. He runs slow, he danses like a girl (with all those booty shake thing) he blinks his eyes if he is mad to somebody very slowly like how gays do it when they are flirting with somebody, he loves to play with girl stuffs and more. Well, it really doesnt matter to me if he is gay or not because it isnt a big deal and its not his fault to be like that, if ever he is gay. 
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
2 Jan 09
At this age I think it is to young for them to even know better. It's a stage he is going through. I mean when I was little I played with boys stuff and even wore mens cloths but I'm not gay. He just likes the stuff because it is pretty that is all. Plus now days boys wear pink. Pink is the now stage for boys. I think his teacher and mother is doing everything right by letting him explore. To me it does not mean he is gay and being 5 is way to young for him to even know the difference in what he is doing. My son likes to play with both boys and girls stuff. He evens try's to wear high heels. It's a phase and there is nothing to worry about. All children go through it.
Happy Mylotting
@808nala (640)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I don't think the boy knows or understands what gay is. He just likes what he likes and it happens to be girly things. I had a friend in elementary school that I knew would turn out to be gay. He never said that he thought a guy was cute or anything, but he did hang out with us girls and play with our barbie dolls. He was a sort of feminine while the other boys were being roughnecks. As we grew older, I guess he figured out that he would rather be a girl. By high school, he grew his hair long, wore makeup, heels and women's clothes. I don't know that he ever hooked up with another guy, but I do know that he is now on his way to becoming a full female.
