What Is Your Definition Of A Good Friend?

My tke is the same as yours on all this and I think you know I hope you have not been hurt again Happy New Year to you and lots of love and Hugs xxxxx

Yup I feel like you freindship is unconditional. stick by who ever through thik and thin and if there is something they see about you in the beginning they should tell ya then not wait till much much later . Makes me sad to think that some one may have hurt you like this for I see you as a very good friend and am proud to have you as one!! hugs When dont wrong and awful like that IT Is time to drop it. as it woud never be the same on your part you would always have that feeling that you are being wonged and lied too. Wrapping Eagle wings around you and big bigb hugsssssssssssssssss

I don't have many requirements from friends but I would say very simply that a good friend is one who does not expect you to do more for them than they are prepared to do for you. Friendship involves a bit of give and take, but no-one keeping the score... I don't mind giving more to a friend than they can offer in return, but I would only regard them as a good friend if they felt the same way....

Over the years I've had a couple of truly good friends but as time passed and the distance between us increased it was difficult to cultivate or continue the friendship. And a good one that is honest and loyal does indeed take time to develop. Recent friendships I've begun have soon turned out to be false...either too flimsy or lacking in character. I'm pretty needy, but I also have a huge amount to give....no-one seems to want or need me or cares to get to know me. I think that must happen as we age. I do not suffer fools or false people or dishonesty. I'm content to be with my animals but there are moments when I wish really hard for a true friend, just one who I can be me with and who wants my friendship in return.

the definition of a friend is someone who you call when you need to be bailed out out jail. A true friend is in jail with you. heehee. I think a true friend will be there through thick and thin. I do not agree so much with pointing out the things that hurt you. I do not think they need to hurt you all the time. Some times I need a friend just to be on my side and listen to me even if they disagree with me. I invested a large amount of money into a project that a friend of mine disagrees with. She made it clear that she thinks I should not be doing this business adventure. I brought it once and she gave me dirty looks when I was talking about the process we where going through. I then sat down and we talked about it. I said I know you disagree with me. I know you think I am making the biggest mistake of my life but I feel it is not a mistake. I want you as a friend to be there to listen to me when I need or want to talk about the project. If I fail you can say "I told you so" but now I want to be have you my friend listen to me and be on my side." That is what I am saying about not hurting you feeling. I know there are times when a friend has to say things that hurt but there are times when a friend has to know when to keep things to them selves and be on my side even if I am wrong.

Strangers can 'hurt' us and that makes us angry. Friends and loved ones can 'hurt' us, and that breaks our hearts. The power to hurt lies in our connection to the person. The stronger the connection, the greater the hurt. Love is a many layered thing. The love I have for family is different than the love I have for friends. When my family hurts me, I get upset, and though I may not like them very much, the bond remains intact. When my friends hurt me, I have to evaluate the reason why. Some friends are closer than others. So when a more tenuous connection is tested, I have to decide if the person has another agenda, or if it is just a part of who they are and I am reacting to new knowledge. Sometimes I feel I have to let the person 'go' and I do, but I don't carry a grudge. Just because things didn't work out between me and them, doesn't mean they aren't capable of being the 'best friend' of someone else. But when the connection with a friend of long standing is tested, I look to MYSELF for the reason why. That's how I learn, that's how I grow. I depend on my 'best friends' to keep me grounded, tell me off when I need it, and keep me focused on the important things and let the rest slide. It would take a LOT to convince me that those that I hold closest to my heart are not worthy of my friendship. I would stand by them no matter what. They would have to bring the blade to my heart to me face to face before I would let our friendship die. And to my mind, any 'friend' that can do me wrong based on someone else's words and not on the knowledge they have of me first hand, is not a friend at all but merely an opportunist with an agenda of their own. That said, I have discovered a new avenue of friendship, and of course, that's the net. On forums like this, it's so easy to judge people based on what other's say. Me personally --- I base my opinion of someone on observation of what they say to others, more often than on what they say to me. For example, I've known Gabs since the beginning of my time here. She owns my heart. I've known you Darkwing a much lesser time. But you and Gabs are friends - good friends. I've observed your treatment of her for quite some time, and though you and I didn't seem to have lot in common back then, I made friends with you, because I could see in your words; your loving heart, your interests, and your loyalty. Definitely someone I wanted to know better and value. Besides...............if Gabs loves you, then you MUST be alright! lol It sounds to me Darkwing, like you've been hurt recently? Perhaps not, I hope not, but this subject is rather a deep one................. Hugs.

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." is my favorite line on a Good frend ever.

I like your definition of friendship, I am not sure a friend should make you cry, they should definitely tell the truth, how do you know when there a relationship has gone bad? When their is no more respect between either both friends for each other or one friend for the other.

I agree with your definition of a friend. I too have a close friend whom I cold-heartedly tell him the truth. I believe as a friend, we have to be truthful and sincere. He felt hurt and return a very harsh last sentence. It takes a lot of effort for both of us to face up to reality and we are better friends after that. However, the shadow is there. I think twice now when I feel like telling the truth, nothing but the truth.

Hi dear nice discussion to me definition of good friend is to whom u feel comfortable with, to whom u r rely, the one not only pointed out ur shortcoming but also help u to overcome them, must be sincere. Take care

Good Morning Darkwing...I know, I know. I will get over there I promise and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Go ahead and yell, I deserve it. The time just flies by so fast, and I've had quite a few problems over the past few weeks. I just don't like to whine about everything, haha. Anyway, I wholeheartedly agree with you on all your above statements, and wish I could put discussions together the way you do. They're always so perfectly written and completely understandable. I did have one friend of eight years, kind of stick me in the back a couple of times at work at my last job. She was going through some trying times and to make a long story short, I just sort of pushed it into the back of my mind, and forgave. We're still real good friends and things have straightened out since then. This is one time I'm really happy I didn't just end the friendship. We are very different people but we did pull together, and it took actually a third party friend to help smooth out the differences. I just didn't want to give this one up after all that time. It's actually a very long story but I made it short for you, haha. Take care xxxooo.

Hmmmm, sounds like you've got a pretty rigorous list of dos and don'ts for your friends! I don't have many friends myself, they are waaay to much work, and I am very self-centered... I like to do what I want when I want to do it and I do not answer to anybody but myself. Additionally, I have opinions and experiences that would horrify most of the humans on this planet and when you cannot speak openly with someone then that is not a friend. Nobody has the power to hurt your feelings, you are the only one who has the power to decide how you want to feel. And I have to wonder about calling someone a friend who lies to you, double-crosses you, and 'does you wrong'! Hehehehe, that is definitely not on MY list of desirable traits for a friend to have! Honesty would definitely be on my list, so would a sense of adventure, a sense of humor, and a very light heart. They would need to be exceptionally independent and not emotionally needy. I would want them to have a generous, open nature and to be ready for anything. And above all they should be able to mind their own business and leave me to mine, because when it comes right down to it we are all on our own. I guess I am pretty unapproachable really, but that suits me just fine.

I agree with ya for sure with the first paragraph. But I'm not completely clear on the 2nd one when you say, "in order to tell you the truth, they have to squash your sensitivity until it weeps" and "If you look inside yourself and think they might be right, then do you appreciate that they pointed out your faults to you, even if you feel they've betrayed you, for not saying so beforehand?" And yes, if they doublecross, lie and do me wrong, then, yeah, it is time for ME to move on to people that won't be that cruel to me. I have a big issue with lying.

Someone who understands you, even when you don't lol.

Hello Darkwing..I totally agree with you in everything you with have just said so need say no more, even if it meant breaking the friendship...hugs littleowl

Friends are hard to come by, great friends are only once in a while. A good friend is what you described, they know you so when they speak the truth you should know they are doing for your benefit if they think you are going off track. I've got one good friend at work at a great friend whom we've been through a lot of stuff together.

Hi darkwing thanks for give good topic.in my opinion good friend looks out for you,inspires you,laughs with you,cries with you,understands you,guides you,walk with you.these are follow a good friend.i'm tell one important thing is "Good Friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget".

acc. to me a friend in need is a frnd indeed.........this is my theory.....i have a ton of frnds but not all dem defines the true meaning of a frnd.just greedy frnds.once i had a fight wid sumone.....all of ma frnds stoof back and only 2-3 stood wid me to fight and protected me ......dats the true frnd

Good Friend [DO(O)G DNEIRF] first form the words reverse order and then read it. Good friends jst like fire and not a flame ok. it should help to make or built good way .

A good friend is someone that will be there for you when things go well as well as when times are not so great. Though in most cases people can make loads of friends when times are great from receiving good monthly income, though when it is not so good then these so called 'friends' are no where no longer to be seen.