when to let go and to hold on...

I just woke up an hour ago and this discussion is a challenge for me to answer to, simply because that's my life story. I tend to take in situations that end up nearly killing my soul. For me, if I had to choose between holding on or letting go, I tend to let things go. I should know because I've been married more times than I care to count. With my first one, I stayed in the marriage simply for the children. That was the worse decision I could have made at the time because the abuse and neglect was still going on. Had I continued, I think I would have lost the children due to his inability to tend to his duties as a father and husband. No...that man let ME go. He up and left me and buh bye for him. Turns out better that way because I went on making even more stupider mistakes, but letting go is easier. He's now married and has several more children of his own. Had I stayed with him, we would have been married 17 years. Yikes! But, the greatest example of letting someone go would have to be with my relationship with a young fire fighter. When I met him online, he told me he was a certain age. I believed him. We even met and made plans of a great future together. Well, the truth reared it's ugly head to me and I freaked out, how could I trust someone like that? I dropped him like a hot potatoe. But, was that something I really needed to do? Looking back, even after we got back together, I realized that it would be best to let him go. Why? I wasn't thinking of myself for once, I was thinking of him. He's much younger than I, it wouldn't be fair for him to watch me grow older as he remained young and vibrant with strength and life. He lives 2,000 miles away from me and we were both grounded in our own homestate. How could I...remove him from the beaches, the sand, the family and friends he loves so much? He said he was willing to give up all of that, just to be with me. But, I couldn't help but thinking that there's someone out there, better for him. Someone who has never been married, someone who doesn't have children, some girl who is around his age. The thing one has to ask themselves is: Would letting someone go help THEM to grow into a better person? Chances are, yes. They've existed before you, and they'll exist after you...unless you're their parent or such. Would you be better without them? Depends. Did they help you along your path of life or did they leech the very strength from your marrow? People are like that, they'll come over and just eat you up inside and spit you out, leaving you with nothing to defend yourself. I'm sure they don't mean it as it's what they are. Maybe...they need someone like you to be that one person they can depend upon for an ear, just let them know how you feel and where you stand. But, when it gets to where you can't breath, cut them off your lifeline. *Pleiades

I think when the right time comes, it just does. Oftentimes people get blindsided by the other person breaking up. I think if you have doubts though, you should be open with your spouse or significant other and you should let them know what your doubts are and why they are there. But also be ready to admit that it might just be an illogical fear. Most people understand and things can go a lot better when people just talk and don't accuse each other right away of anything. Talking it out is the best solution and trying to be understanding is a good thing too. Just follow your heart and you will know.

For someone who is in love I guess there will always be a thousand reason to hold on as against one reason to let go... You let go of someone who has rightfully been yours... When to let go? When the feeling is no longer mutual. When the relationship became a routine to the other person. When he is making you feel that he is there because he has to... then its's time to let go... It's better letting someone go than making him stay even if you know that that love is not there anymore. You let go of someone who let go of you first. You let go of someone who is no longer happy holding your hands... ... holding on... you hold on to someone who you trust and love. You hold on to someone when you know that the love is worth fighting for. You hold on to someone whom you know will be strong when you are the one feeling weak. You hold on to someone who is loving you like his own life. And last... YOU HOLD ON TO SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LET GO...

i agree.it's definitely hard to make a decision especially when feelings are involved.it seems like you know the answer to the problem yet it's hard for you to follow it because of the fear of getting hurt in the process.i think what you should do is try to weigh things.and when you already made your decision,try not to look back at the things that might happen and move on.i know it's kinda easier said than done,but that's the way it is.

don't let go as long as you can see even a little light of hope if you think you still deserve him. Don't let go if you think he still worth it. Let go, if whatever you may do won't make a change with the present situation. Let go if he still much love you but He made a decision he can no longer get out of it. Let go for you to move on and find another one whom you'll never let go ever.

mmm.. just follow your heart tells you to do, but you should try to estimate what to follow, your heart or your brain? when your brain tells you that you've had enough, then its time to let go.