Coming On TOO Strong
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
January 3, 2009 9:31am CST
There is a personals site that I check out every so often. I hadn't been there in a couple months so I thought I would log in and see if I had any messages. As soon as I logged in I got an instant message from another user, he wanted to chat. So, I figure it won't hurt anything. I tried having a "quality" chat with him, you know asking about him as a person, just trying to get to know him. His question for me, "What are you doing today?". Seems innocent, right? I tell him my plans for the day and I ask what he has planned for the day. He responds, "Coming to see you and give you a hug and a kiss, I hope". HUH? I respond with an LOL, hoping that he was just joking. Well, he wasn't. I had to come out and tell him "NO". Then even after that he proceeds to give me his cell phone number.
Now, I understand if I met someone online that I might EVENTUALLY meet them in person, but it would only be after I got to know them better. I don't just have someone instant message me and I'm all game for meeting them right then, that's just crazy.
Why do you think some people come on so strong for?
3 people like this
11 responses
@littleone3 (2063)
•
3 Jan 09
I remember this happening to me a lot when i was on my own.
I think sometimes people just assume that you must be desperate to have someone in your life especially when you are a single mum.
I remember one man i chatted to online and it all started off innocent then all of a suddenly he was going to marry me.He had decided we were a couple with out my knowledge and was telling his whole family we were getting married. Of course i never ever agreed to any of it. I deleted him and blocked him from my list.
Some people do not understand that no means no.
I did eventually meet my partner online but we did take the time to get to know each other before things went any further.
I think you are very wise not just jumping in.
2 people like this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
4 Jan 09
Maybe because you are visting the site he assumes that is what you are looking for. Some people are just creepy and think it is all right to speak to others anyway they choose. They don't understand that not all people are like them and not everyone appreciates that type of attention. It can be scary for some and push them away.
1 person likes this
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
4 Jan 09
that has happened to me alot. I barely even try to log on anymore.
@roberten (3128)
• United States
4 Jan 09
That is the very reason I do not "personals sites"; I have heard lots of stories like yours and I've been scared off. Like anything, there is always someone ready to take advantage of any situation; you just happened to have a chat with one of those individuals. I prefer Mylot over that type of site, I feel much safer here.
I'm really sorry you were put in that position, it really isn't nice nor fair.
1 person likes this
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
4 Jan 09
i think the reason why people do this is just because they nkow there ar estill people who are crazy enough to be willing to trust and meet people who they chatted with online. i know cause i know someone who does this all the time and get many success in finding them. though one at a time. but it is not that easy. of course he got many rejection and no answer from other people . but still he still got many people he met through that way. and the amount of time they put it in that , it is like it is theirl ife. to look for someone new to meet.
1 person likes this
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
4 Jan 09
You got to remember alot of those people on those sites are on their just to see if they can find an easy lay. Guys especially are just looking to get laid in the daytime when the wives are out to work. I mean really i'd never start talking to an instant messenger because of just that being hit on too much. I've never joined one of those sites personally but i've had friends that have and didn't like it very long at all.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
3 Jan 09
THat is one reason whyI stoped using the internet for dating. If i started talkingto someone and he generally wanted a friendship cool. But too often i got messages like "hey sexy wanna hook up" I started sending messages back saying there is more to me then that and I never heard from em again.
1 person likes this
@AnakSuNamun (2084)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Some people are just looking for a certain type of "fun" and they usually go away if you show them you're not interested. That doesn't apply to crazy stalkers...
Also,some people are so lonely and desperate they approach everyone openly,even though it doesn't seem like your male friend.
Also,some people are so lonely and desperate they approach everyone openly,even though it doesn't seem like your male friend.
@GAUCI123 (1042)
• Malta
3 Jan 09
Well some people like to ask certain straight to the point questions on the net, which I really hate it. When they know you are a female, they will bombard you with questions, like what are you wearing? etc which I really hate it, I will stop chatting immediatly since I know where he wants to go chatting. It is fun meeting people, but it is dangerous too, I will never meet a person on the net, If I don'nt Really know him.
1 person likes this
@ulalume (713)
• United States
4 Jan 09
Sounds like this guy needs to get on an adult personals site. Its fairly obvious from what you quoted him saying what he is interested in. This is pretty much why I think people come on strong like this. Some people just think they are "unbreakable" in a way, and can get away with anything/do anything they want (especially from behind a computer).
1 person likes this
@selfmade2085 (2)
• United States
3 Jan 09
long story short some people do feel that talking to a person online is similar to talking to a person on the street. there are some people who like to build with a person online and there are some who are risk takers....
1 person likes this
