Is being straightforward rude or honest?

It's both actually. It really depends on your intent and your delivery. Let me explain using two things that happened to me over the holidays. First, my father-in-law was making some comments about something, (I don't remember now what it was) and he was making my wife's cousin uncomfortable. My wife pulled him aside and told him that what he was saying was awkward and she was very straightforward and honest with him. It removed the tension and didn't embarrass her father. At another time, one of our guests was going on and on about how she "hates" spending Christmas in warm climates, (we live in FL US and it was very warm here at Christmas). She was being both straightforward, honest and RUDE. She was a guest here and she was basically insulting everyone at the party because we ALL live in the warm climates. She embarrassed herself and insulted everyone there simply by sharing her honest thoughts. She had every right to share those feelings but she should have been more sensitive to the fact that we all choose to live here and that her honesty was insulting. Also I think that there are those who use the guise of "honesty" to be insulting. We have to be very careful in how we say things.

Well I guess it has its advantages and disadvantages. It just needs to be balanced with courteousness I guess. With these two I think being straightforward would never be bad at all. There are certain ways where you can be straightforward and yet not totally hurting them in the process.

It depends how you put your words when you tell off a person. Some people can be very straightforward with nicely placed words which are not hurting to the listener. It is good to be straightforward but not many people can accept it. In Asian communities we have some reservations with straightforwardness. I am very open minded person and I would rather get an honest opinion rather then keeping it to the chest and talking behind me.

Being straight forward and being rude is two different things. A straight forward person has the ability to deliver facts without offending the other person. Some people get the two confused.

It would depend on the person you are talking with. There are people who can understand the straightforward type. Others can't live with them. Our interpretation of things vary. Sometimes I can easily deal with straightforward people. My mom is that type. Sometimes I hate her for being so but then I learned to understand her. To be straightforward at the right time and the place is honesty. People will see you and accept you if they already know who you are. I actually am the passive type. I don't like to hurt people's feelings unless they asked for my opinion.

It depends on how you express it. If you're so mean, then you're rude. But if you're very descriptive, you're just a critic and plain honest. Sometimes, we are carried by our emotions when we are trying to be a straightforward. We must not let our emotions own us coz we can hurt the person we're talking or confronting..

It can be both, depending on how it is done. There is such a thing called tact that should be used. To me rude would be someone I don't know coming up and running their mouth.. lol That could end not nice. However If I'm friends with you and I did something to make you mad or hurt your feelings, sure tell me. I will then either say I'm sorry or I might say sorry and explain my side. If I don't do either well I guess I don't consider that person a friend. The reason I think a friend should tell you or you tell a friend is that it will ruin a friendship as you will start resenting the person.

numberonechick, I perfer people being straightforward with me. At the moment this can be hurtful but generally will save even more pain in the long run. You can say anything to anyone but you have to remember that it is not what you say but how you say it. Be honest but not unduely harsh. The truth is best.

It can be rude. It depends on what it is and how it is expressed. In general, there is no harm in presenting criticism constructively in some situations (your child, a friend, a subordinate). But there are appropriate ways to approach it and inappropriate ways. Say you have a tendency to gossip, which approach would make you more likely to consider the criticism rude vs honest: You always gossip about everybody. vs I really don't need to know those kinds of details about people. Or in your example where you think somebody is being selfish: You're being selfish. vs Why not try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Well there is a difference in being straightforward about something and being purposely nasty. Like I've told other people, there is a BIG difference in being assertive and being aggressive - otherwise known as being a b*tch... civility is always the aim. What galls me is people who get aggressive unprovoked. I will state that if you provoke me, of course I get that way, but I would never just approach someone that way off the cuff, for no reason. Think of it this way - is there something to be gained by saying something? If the gain is purely personal and selfish, then maybe it's unwarranted. If it would prevent someone from hurting themselves or stop a bad situation from exploding, again it might be prudent to comment.

I think it depends on the way you state your opinion. Being straight forward doesn't necessarily mean being rude, however some people take any negative comment as rudeness. I guess it depends on how you state it and how the other person takes it.

I guess it is a good thing to be straight forward as this is being honest in my view! However, there are certain ways to say things so as not to offend. If someone is rude to you though then I agree that it is perfectly acceptable to give the culprit a piece of your mind! I'm always polite when I talk to people but if someone offends me when I have done nothing to warrant this then I will as mentioned give them a piece of my mind! Andrew

It depends on the approach, the choice of words & the intention. It's ok to be straight forward & direct to the point on things but it has to be done with manners. You cannot say all you want to say just because you're being honest, you should always think before you say, you dont want to offend anyone or hurt other's feelings because of your honesty.

It kind of depends on the context of the situation. If someone was being obnoxiously selfish, then it would be more than appropriate to tell them. Just being "selfish" isn't really the worst thing anyone could do. If you dont like their company just avoid them. If you just met someone, sometimes people come across differently just because your not used to them. I suppose another thing here is the fact that you are implying that being rude is equalled to not a nice thing. Sometimes honesty can be taken as rudeness, but the truth is: if your being honest, you have done nothing wrong (whether it bothers someone or not). I may be offended by something someone says, but that doesn't mean they didn't have the right to say it. See what I mean?

There are tactful ways to be straightforward and there are rude ways to be. If someone asks your advice and truly wants to hear the truth then you should be honest. If you offer advice without it being sought then it is probably going to be taken as rude. It also depends on the situation of the conversation. Sometimes I feel it is just better to let it go if I know the person will react negatively to what I have to say. Even if they ask my advice I may just say I don't know or I'm not sure how I would handle the situation. But for the most part if they ask and I have an opinion to offer I will offer it. They don't have to take my advice or even listen to it. I know we all have different opinions on different things and I can respect that. In fact that is what makes the world a fun place to live.

Straightforward doesn't have to mean getting in someone's face. It all depends on how it's presented.

well.. i would say being straight forward the politically correct way is the best way. That's how i strive to be anyway. Some people can just be very curt and hurtful but they are speaking facts and being so called straightforward. In such cases, i think it's just uncalled for.

Im straightforward and tell people exacly how it is and I dont think this is rude infact I wish more people would do it and I have greater respect for people who do.

Being straightforward is first and foremost being honest - no nice talk needed if what you really want to say is that boy has a btch for a girl friend when you have all the facts to prove it. Rudeness depends on the culture - it's rude for Filipinos to NOT finish your meal because it means you didn't like it, but what if they just served you too much - you can simply be straightforward and tell them you're full and that you loved the food :) Thanks for the response on my discussion!

I've known as honest person, my friends and close friends know that my way to take care of them and to show my sympathy is being straightforward, especially if they need my advice, I am kind of direct manner, without beating around the bush.... It's just sometimes even when my instinct is to help them, I will let them fend themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances... It's just that they have to learn also...