What do you think??

Absolutely not. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, scarred my daughter. And we got along once the "marriage" was over! It doesn't matter how well two people get along, they need to go separate ways if even one feels unhappy in the relationship. That one person will eventually make the happy one unhappy, bitterness and resentment will be all that child knows. Many people think that children won't understand until they are older, but that is a serious crock. They understand better then you would imagine, and they see everything. Yes its hard, but better that they have people who love them then people who aren't happy. And fighting when the children go to bed, or when they are out or in another room doesn't work either. Case in point, my 5 year old the other day uttered a phrase she in no way could have heard since she was a baby. It was something my ex used to say. It was not pleasant, and worded quite uniquely...and she hasn't seen her father for a long time. But out it came, clear as day...she even applied it correctly. I'm sure many single parents out there have such stories. A home is only broken if there is no love to be found. Even if they stick together, that home could very well qualify for broken.

Absolutely and emphatically not! It's one thing if the couple is not in love but still can get along quite well to stay together, but if they are miserable, fight a lot, etc, it is MUCH more harmful for a child to grow up in a house like that than to have parents that live apart. Growing up in an unhappy household can seriously mess with a child's perception of how relationships are supposed to work, which will impact them when they start having romantic relationships. It can also cause a child to be withdrawn or a whole host of other so called "emotional problems", and can even make them feel like it's their fault their parents are unhappy. Short term, the relationship ending may impact the child negatively, because it will cause temporary confusion and insecurity, but long term it's much healthier and more stable for them to not be around all that tension - which will only worsen as the couple starts to resent each other more and more...and eventually, one or both of them may come to resent the child, seeing him/her as nothing more than an obstacle to their happiness. Far better for a child to have two healthy, happy, albeit separate parents, than two miserable ones together.

Hi mocha, I think your friend should live with his wife for his daughter's sake. Even your friend can live happily with his wife,if there is no big problems. They should go for a counseling where their misunderstandings will be removed. So you help your friend to be with his wife. Best of luck

I don't think it is right to stay with someone that you are miserable with for any reason at all and especially not for the children. That never works. If you are in a bad relationship, you are miserable and there is no way humanly possible to be in the best of spirits when you are feeling bad about your relationship. I raised all my 4 kids on my own and maybe they didn't fare as well with material things but they were way better off than had I stayed in such an unhealthy relationship. so...no ...i don't think it is a good idea to stay in a bad relationship for the sake of the kids.

In marriage, its always complicated when a partner woke up one days felt out of love with the partner. With the situation of your friend, i guess he has to consider many things. First, his children. Definitely they won't understand why these things happening to their family. What will be the effect if he will give up the relationship. Second, of course his partner, how can she cope with the situation? does his decision agreeable with his partner? Third, his responsibility to his children. If I were on this situation, I'll stay in the relationship even if I don't know how LOL why should I? simply because I don't want my children to experience having a broken home/ family as i experienced.

Take it from someone who was in that situation some 12 years ago...I can say, "HELL NO!" Sure, it's great an all to want to get that stiff upper lip and wait out the storms, but what is that really proving? Both parents will be miserable, the fighting will continue, and who knows what would be said and done? The child picks up on things like that. It would be best for the parents to split up, then that way they can concentrate on being happier people. Yes, being away from the child would be horrible, but as long as the absent parent was a good provider and loving person, then there's no reason he can't continue that relationship with the child. Parenting classes are great for things like this. *Pleiades

Depends on the family and society you are talking about. If it’s a society where divorce is a way of life and most people are comfortable with it, then the daughter would not be affected or traumatised much. Rather, it would be better if the parents separated and the girl grew up with equally healthy respect for both her parents. However, I societies where divorce is frowned upon, it would definitely affect the child’s psyche as she would be ridiculed and her parents insulted both by friends and families and by society in genera.. in such case, the father is correct in wanting to stay together for his daughter’s sake.

hello Mocha09, In my own opinion, when two people got married they promised one another that they'll be together from better and for worst. So I think from there, this is the situation that they need to deal with so the children will not suffer. The children should not the one who will suffer from the situation. And for this, parents should sacrifice and really work hard for the seek of their children.

Stay together should be a best choice and the precondition is the couple have a harmony relation and the familay show no obvious unhappy phenomenon. there is no controversy It is unpity that this poetic life do not happend to everybody and always show us just like what you say. so we have to face it. Since we know that a harmony relation should be a better solution,we'd better to try our best to create this surroundings for our children, how we should do?If the couple stay together with lots of quarrels,i think it maybe a worst answer. In other side, if the couple live sepearately while the children have a much more harmony and calm life, great. so I think either staying together or living sepearately, creating a better living environment for the children should be the first factor of consider

I don't think people should stay in a bad relationship for the children. I don't think the children is happy when they saw their parents unhappy. for me, I won't be happy . happy mylotting.

I applaud him for trying to stay in the relationship for his daughter's sake. I don't think enough people at least fight for their relationship when there are children involved. I would suggest they seek councelling to try to reconcile their differences and move forward together in their relationship. Children do put horrible strains on relationships, so they are probably just feeling the stress. My husband and I went through some horrible problems shortly after having our first, and it lasted a few years. We still haven't quite straightened it out, but we're better off than we used to be.

Been there, done that. And no, it doesn't work staying just for the kids. Often they are just as miserable as the parents. When I finally got divorced my son was 17. He told me he wished I had done it years ago.

This is where communication between loved ones is so often overlooked. Has the couple discussed their differences? Have they considered marriage counseling? If divorce is inevitable, is the child old enough to be told all of the implications - the most important of which might be "Mommy and Daddy don't love each other anymore, but we will both always love you no matter what"?

I think so, for children, I will stay in a bad relationship. Because I have listened and also saw so many true thing that the devoice made so much harm to children. Though two people stay together is not only for children,but if you are happy after devoice, your children will be in problem,especially in mind, I think. So anyone who deicded to marry should be very clear his or her responsibility to family and children, if he did not prepare, better not to marry to harm others. Of course, if marry without baby, it's also a good choice.

No I don't think a person should stay in a bad relationship just for the sake of the children. The children will know something is wrong even if they don't know what. Stress can be felt and the daughter will definitely feel the stress between the Mom and Dad. There are other ways to be around his daughter. That is what they make visitation rights for. He just needs to make sure that his daughter knows that he is not leaving her and she did not cause this to happen. That is very important because too many times the kids think it is their fault that the break happened. Then spend as much time with his daughter and help her through the difficult period. Try to remain friends with the mom because it would show the child that there can be friendship between a couple if the break up is done right. And one final note doesn't he think that his spouse or partner can not feel that there is something not right here. Just my opinion here.

I remember I posted the same topic like this before; the title was "Staying in a Rocky Relationship for the Sake of the Kids". I got a lot of responses then and there were a lot of opinions about such situation. However, I guess I have to give mine in this as this has been discussed again by now. For me, I guess both couples must have a serious talk basically first about what's going on w/ their relationship. Of course it's expected that there might be some root-cause of the problem that might have not been discussed seriously to the point of deciding to call it quits. Marraige is sacred and a very significant unit in society, b oth parties should take second thought before departing ways. I am not saying that they should have to stay despite the difficult situation just for the sake of the kids but they have to take every aspect of their marraige seriously. Now if they really found out that the problem is beyond solution; and that love and respect is no longer there the I guess staying together is useless. But they must have a good arrangement in doing so as this affect a lot of things.

well, i think, 1st, should find out what is the reason that he unhappy in the relationship? It is really can help or recover? If he is unhappy, how about his wife? if both also unhappy, then stay together just because of the daughter, i think this is not a good reason... if stay together but unhappy, the home also don't have the happiness and warm, then what is the reason to stay together?

Children can patched up misunderstanding between parents. Love for children made parents kiss and make up. As long as the parents care for the children is there the possibility of living together and have happy ending is possible. However, should the parents no longer love each other and they themselves don't even think what would happen to their children should they separated ways, poor chiuldren can't do anything. They should keep first their relation no matter how shaky as they can do more to fix it once they are together, now if it really won't work that's the time for them to end it. Trying their best would make the children understand.

It depends on the situation. In a hostile environment the couple should probably separate. However, it must be said that sometimes fathers have to make a hard decision when it comes to their children. In certain states mothers will get full custody of the child and the fathers will have to settle for weekends only. So I'd have to say that Dad should weigh his options carefully before making the decision to leave. If it is something that can be worked out between the parents then he should attempt to stick around. It is rare that a couple has a perfect relationship with no arguing at all. There are plenty of Dads that sacrifice their own happiness because the very thought of not seeing thier child daily would be unbearable. If I was a Dad I would do everything possible to stay with my kid.

I think not, cause the parents have their lifes too, and children whos parents are divorced, are at some time happy too