My husband brought his girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hell Royal, just how stupid can some men be!!!! I've had this problem too, and it's absolutely infuriating! If you know this woman, I would simply call her up, invite her to meet you in public somewhere for coffee and let her know how you feel. Until she and your husband are married (if that ever happens), there is NO reason for your children to be placed in a situation where she feels she has a right to make decisions where they are concerned. Actually, even after they are married, (as I learned the hard way), she still doesn't have any rights where your kids are concerned. Those decisions are between you and your ex only and she needs to understand that. If your ex is too thick headed to realize how his flagrancy affects you, then perhaps you will have better luck appealing to the girlfriend. I made the mistake of staying as far away from my ex's girlfriend as I could when they started dating. Now that they're married, she thinks she can treat my children however she wants and to hell with me and the decisions I have made/make on their behalf. And she has the nerve to call me the biotch! Now we are in a legal battle and I wish so much I had put my foot down a long time ago. And talk to your kids about this. Believe me............they'll want to know how you feel and where you stand.

Well, I can truely feel your pain and exasperation at such a situation. It must feel really awful. Have you talked to your husband and that girlfriend of his. Since you are going to divorce, it is best to let your town p eople know about it from you only, so that when she comes draped on to his arm, they are not shocked but accept it. Neither then will you feel out of place or embarassed. In fact, at all such outings, I suggest you too go out with a good freind, just to send the message to the people that you dont care what he does. As regards your children, I think you will have to put your foot down. Tell him, all celebrations with the kids will be at your house with you. I suggest you have a polite girl to girl talk with that woman too. Dont be rude, just firm. Good luck .

Well I am just going to guess by what I have read that I will be way in the minority here. So Yes you are wrong. You said that you and your husband have been separated for a while and are planning divorce. If it were not for the financial strain for the both of you I assume that you would already be. Your husband has moved on and has found someone else that he wants to share his life with long term or not doesn't matter. Those children are a part of his life. And I think that it would be perfectly natural for him to want to share that with her. I understand that you were embarrassed by the whispers and comments but who the heck cares about busy bodies. Moving on to the accident. First I hope that they are ok. And that their injuries were not serious. But put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Don't you think that if you were seeing someone that they would have wanted to be there to support you and the girls. Furthermore it shows that she at least cares enough about him and the girls to go... Imagine how it must have felt for her. All your friends and family. The glares and the whispers. ( Sound familiar ) Think about this for a moment. You were gracious enough to let your husband spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with with the children. I am sorry but that comes across very smug to me. They are after all his children too. As I have been writing and referring to back to your discussion it has occured to me that you have not referred to him as your ex husband, I am for the sake of this discussion assume that is because you have not divorced yet. Or consider that you still have some feelings for him and the anger that you are feeling is more jealousy and being right. Than about the situation.

Well i can see why you would be upset. But in all honesty, you guys are seperated done for divorced already in your alls eyes. You cant expect him to put his life on hold,and any girl who is in a serious relationship with your husband. is not ganna take being pushed aside from everything because this is what you want... she is nice to your children thats WONDERFUL not every "step mother soon to be" also im sure shes not tryn to take YOUR kids away she is just tryn to see that her man gets to spend more time with his children. wich you should be VEARY VEARY thankful she isnt one to be its me or nothing type and risk him choosing her. As far as the hospital part go... i dont think its so bad that he brang her. she could have walked in and said hi to the kids and then walked out and let fam be with fam I think you may still have a slight bit of feelings for this fellow...

oh my... i so feel you. and i know how insulted you feel. If i were in your shoes i really don't know how i can take all this. Have you tried talking to your husband about it? I mean he should at least show you some respect. It's not like you're bringing guys back and shoving them in front of his face. And i honestly think he has overstepped the line. You should put your foot down. A lady can only take so much. As making plans with your children, you might want to highlight to him that you have a share in the kids too and you have every right to know what is being planned for them just in case you have made plans too. It's not fair that he doesn't consult you and just goes on making his own. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I hope things will turn out well & you'd feel much better.

You are stong woman to have endured so much. I may not be able to give you the best of advise as i am from a different culture & country where marriages are considered to be an extremely sacred bond. I am offering you my friendship in full earnest. There are two things i humbly suggest: Pls talk to your husband for old times sake & tell him that his actions are hurting you.Sometimes men can be so ignorant of obvious. no point in competing eith his girlfriend regarding your kids. I am sure pure love will ultimately triumph.Just be the good mum to them that you have always been.

Oh honey...You are still in the "angry" catagory. You have to let it go! Trust me, you will feel SOOOOOO much better when you do. You have been seperated, you need to realize it's over and stop letting him get to you. He's making himself look like a fool. Don't make yourself look like one. YOu can't stop him from doing much of anything, so why get angry over something you can't control? And if the woman is kind to your children, be grateful because alot of them aren't. Your children know WHO their parents are. Don't be threatened by her. Noone could ever take your place! Don't talk bad about either one in front of the children. Don't let them see your frustrations. If you do, you will make your children feel like it's wrong to like her. And you will NOT like the outcome of that situation. It really causes the children alot of stress. And in my kids case, a lot of anger issues and acting out and a lot of lying! My child felt like he would be disappointing me if he liked her. I never meant for that to happen and I'm glad that I seen the problem and fixed it. You have to atleast act like things don't bother you. Have your breakdown in private. Talk to your best friend. Don't keep it bottled up, and I know it's a very difficult thing to get over. I'm a VERY jealous person because I'm insecure and trust me, I know how hard it is to control yourself. But you have to. Your life must go on. Your kids NEED you to let it go more than anyone. You will see a difference. Wouldn't you rather your kids talk to you about things that happen when they are at his house? If you complain to them about her, they will feel like they can't talk to you about anything that goes on there, that could be a very bad thing. Especially if something bad were to happen that you really need to know about. Not that it would!! But just incase. I'm here if you need someone to vent to. Good luck! (((((hugs)))))

As i read your situation, i feel today that our church and state are correct for not accepting divorce. In our case, you cannot do that, this kind of people cannot go scotfree, you can sue him if the marriage is legal, not unless you are legally separated. But i pity your situation get legal advice. just my idea.

The dark side of life is being put down when you didn't deserve it. Your husband's coolheaded actions for bringing out his girlfriend in public without due respect on you as the legal wife is uncalled for especially when the divorce is yet to be finalized. Legally, what he is doing is wrong and he has erred the marriage institution. If this happens in my place legal actions can be taken against him for adultery and a quickie divorce is in the card. If I were you I would not share my children with the other woman. It will only expose them to bad behavior of their father. How could he shape the children future if he does not show good example. Obviously, what your husband is doing is demeaning your identity as the legal wife and mother to his children.

Well, being the subject of this post, thought it was only fair that I post a rebuttal since most everyone has felt free to tell me what an awful person I am. As like every marriage breakdown, there are two sides of the story. I will refrain from making my personal life public like others have chosen to do, but I will comment on the issues at hand and correct the errors in the post. Yes, I took my girlfriend to the Christmas Concert. OK, let me have it. What a jerk and an A$$. Go ahead I can handle it. Were people whispering, yes, they always do, its a small town. But it seems that no one really knows what all the whispers were about. I heard some of the whispers after the fact and they weren't all bad...towards me anyway. I did take my girlfriend with me to the hospital. She was with me when I got the call about the accident and we were 90 miles away at the time. I drove straight to the hospital to be with my daughter. My daughter was my #1 concern at the time and did not care about anyone or anything else. I did not take my GF into the emergency room, actually I barely even spoke to her while at the hospital. She was feeling pretty slighted. I spent all the time I could with my daughter. And you should have seen my daughter's eyes light up when she was told that my GF was there. She likes my GF a lot. She even screamed out her name when she saw her and held out her arms to get a hug from her. My daughter WANTED my gf there. She even expressed this in a Myspace posting. As for Easter, yes my GF and I are making Easter plans with my daughters. We just assumed that Royal had the same thing planned for Easter that she had planned for Christmas...NOTHING! Now I just have to find out if the plan for the daughters to go out of town to see their brother was really their brothers idea or if Royal tried to get the girls out of town so to disrupt our Easter plans. doesn't matter, we will just do Easter with them on a different day. As far as "gracious enough to let my husband spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the children." That was mighty kind of you to "let" me see my children on a holiday. If it were not for my GF they would not have had a Christmas. She planned dinner for her and her children and me and my children. She even sold off jewelry that she had to buy Christmas presents for my children since neither one of us are in a very good financial position. Royal had nothing planned. If it was so important to her, maybe she should have done something. I know I am going to get blasted on here and I really don't care. I care about as much as people around town talking. So what. People have talked about us for years and not always in the positive. OK, seldom in the positive. I could go on and be really truthful and hateful, but I won't because it doesn't belong in a public forum.

I think that everyone deserves to keep living their lives, if he and you are just memories and a piece of paper still says that you and he are married, I think that you should let go the anger, forgive him and let him see the kids too. He must be really upset because the kids had an accident, and if he's girlfriend join him into the bad ocation, then let him.. why would you won't let him see them?

Uuu..Sounds like she is trying to be a good mother for children she doesn't belong to. And it also looks like she is trying to get your children love and attention so that she can have your husband (or maybe his money I guess??). Anyways, it's not wrong for you to feel that way. Obviously YOU and YOUR HUSBAND are still in marriage and SHE is just an outsider. What she did is very irritating to me. Well, you husband on the other hand should realise the FACT and see things in a better way. I'm very sad for hearing this, and mad for what your husband and the women did. I hope things will get better. Have a great life.

Hi,i am sorry to hear that.You should defend your marriage with your children and the families of his girlfriend ,i think.And i suggest that attemptting to reconcile with your husband and take good care of him if you still love him .You could be generous,kind to everyone,even to the women. And then,to make a misunderstanding to let your husband not to believe her or misunderstood her had hurt your children and so on.Just a small punishment,remeber,not to offend the law.Hope to help you.

You might not want to hear this but it sounds alittle like jealousy. To be honest, that's a normal feeling. If you were divorced, I think it would be a different matter. I do feel it's inappropriate for him to have a girlfriend with him because the two of you are still legally married. It is insensitive and I think he's out of line. To be honest, look into the getting your divorce rolling. Move forward. Because he's openly dating another woman - if this were me - I'd make him pay for the expenses of the divorce. He can't have his cake and eat it too. He should have signed his name on the dotted line freeing himself before he openly picked up a girlfriend.

ok,as far as him coming to the concert and bringing her,then it is a public place and you all are seperated.You can't always worry about what other people think or say.As far as the hospital goes I feel that he did not need to bring her unless they were together when he received the phone call about the accident or he was depending on her for a ride.Did she try to interfere with medical descission's ? My son's father came to a court hearing,which he needed to be at.His girlfriend came because he had to depend on her for a ride.I understood that.But,then after the hearing she proceeded to yell at me telling me what a bad mother I was because of the outcome based on what I said.Which his father and I talked about before the hearing there,that day.That was uncalled for.She needed to stay out of it and keep her opinion to herself.You are right about him needing to discuss things with you regarding the children.But,you do have to understand that they are going to be at her house and around her when they are with their father.

HI royal52gens, my heart is with you since I know that it is hurtful for you to see your husband with another woman. Since you are living in a small town i would ask my partner to keep it low profile if he is dating someone else. At least our failed marriage would not be in the limelight of all the whole community and people gossip about us. I do agree with you that your husband's girlfriend needs to consult you before making any plans for your child. i would not be at loggerheads with them but its nice to be consulted first before they make any plans.

I'm sorry to say this but if you have been separated for quite awhile and are planning a divorce and he is dating someone else, I guess I don't understand why you are so mad. It makes you actually sound jealous. I can understand being mad about the hospital thing, but maybe they were together when he was informed and she went with him to give support? Either way it doesn't matter as you aren't together. It sounds like to me he has moved on and you are holding on. Now when it comes to the Easter thing, you are right they need to clear plans with you too. I was wondering is there a agreement on when the kids go to see him? Like court ordered? If not and it is upsetting you, that they are trying for all the holidays, they can legally be set where they go back and forth on holidays. You are relatively lucky to have her like your kids truthfully instead of treating them bad, which a lot of women do to the kids of the guy they are dating. As for the town whispering, who really cares? I live in a small town and there has been crap said, I don't care as I know my circumstances and what I do.

The life that you once have with your husband is over whether you are divorce yes or no. It is best you get use to the idea that this lady is a part of his life and since she is there will be apart of the children's as well. I hope that your daughter was not seriously injured. My advise to you is to seek divorce through legal aid and move on with your life.

Your husband (or ex-husband) sounds like an insensitive cad, to be flaunting his new relationship like that. His new interest certainly sounds insecure to have to hang on his arm like that. What they do in private is their business, but it's the worst manners to be doing stuff like that in front of you and your children. What a slap on the face, I'm getting madder just thinking about it! You are absolutely not wrong in feeling upset! As long as you are still legally married, he should show respect to you, at least in front of your children. If you think about it, he's really demeaning himself not you. He's also setting a poor example for the sanctity of marriage to your daughters. Does he not realize the message he's sending to them, that it's ok for a husband to treat his wife that way? How does he want their future husbands to treat them? And, in asking for your daughter acceptance of his flings, he's really asking them to validate his reatment of you, and that's not fair. It's a pretty damaging message to be sending. Until a divorce becomes final, I really don't think he should be exposing your daughters to his affairs du jour. You don't want this jerk back do you? It's time for that divorce. It's not expensive if you do it yourselves. Remember one thing during this difficult time. If you need a shoulder, we're here for you. That's what sisters are for.

I hate you are going through this. Sounds like to me you guys need this divorce at all costs!As a matter of fact..let him pay for it. He's the one flaunting his new girl around..your still married..that's adultery. As many people as you say seen it..well...there ya go. I'm not saying take him to the bank but do what you have to do to gain the control you need to make you and your girls secure.If she's having problems with her bounderies..set them for her. She's good to the kids..that's great.You know as well as I do her and your husband will be married after the divorce so it's best to stand your ground now and put everyone where they need to be to make your life as comfortable as possible.lol..look at you bringing out my catty side.Good luck with this no matter how you handle it.