What Are Your Best Parenting Tips?

Okay, so I don't have a PhD in anything, but my experience in the trenches is worth more, I think! I have five children. Ages 21, 14, 13, and 10 yr old twins. Soooo, here's some advice for new parents: 1. It's okay for a baby to cry. They can't talk yet, so it's your job to figure out if it's a hungry cry, too tired cry or painful cry. The way to find out is to first offer food. If that doesn't work, rocking him or cradling is next. Then, there's always the test for gas-- if the tummy is tight and hard then bend the baby's knees and push legs toward the stomach. This should relieve gas. 2. NEVER leave a baby unattended unless it's in a crib sleeping. 3. Talk to them about everything you are doing when they are around. Babies love to be talked to and your voice is very comforting. Plus, it helps with language development. 4. When the child is old enough to use discipline-----ALWAYS follow through. Never threaten a punishment unless you are going to follow through. The child will pick up on your "wimpiness" immediately and use it against you for at least another decade! 5. When friends and family give you advice, just say "thank you, I will consider that". They usually mean well but forget it's none of their business. 6. No foul language around children because sometimes they love to tell grandma their new words! Newly Single Parents: 1. Don't discuss your divorce/breakup with your child. (unless they are over 21) 2. Don't degrade, belittle or say bad things about your ex-spouse in front of or to your child. Eventually this will backfire. ( I know, because I was the recipient of this behavior from both of my parents). It makes your child think something is wrong with him. 3. Don't try to compensate by spending more money on your child or by becoming a "Disneyland Dad". They really just want your time. It doesn't have to be a huge chunk-- just time where they can tell you about their day or whatever. 4. Don't forget to enlist help from family if they are near. Keep family ties for your children because it makes them feel connected when they are feeling disconnected from the non-custodial parent. Parent of Multiples: 1. Have fun dressing your multiples alike when they have no input!! This means you can play dress up for about 3 or 4 years. 2. Yes, it is perfectly normal to think you won't make it to their second birthday. 3. Once potty training is over--your battle is half over! 4. When having birthdays, give them EACH a cake and candles, if you do that. Remember, they are still separate people. 5. Don't make them HAVE TO share everything. It can become resentful. They need their own space and room to grow. 6. Observe how alike yet different they are. 7. Remind them how special and lucky they are to have someone their own age to play and grow with. My oldest daughter taught me a lesson quite early. When your child is telling you about something that happened at school or with friends, don't look too alarmed or they won't tell you anything again. And, don't offer advice over what to do unless they ask for it and you've already asked them what, if anything, they plan to do. Have your child figure out what the problem is and ask what solutions they've considered. Then you can interject if they are ready to hear from you. Sometimes they just want to "spill". Always make sure children have chores. Especially cleaning their rooms. It's important for them to feel they must be responsible for themselves and the parent really should not be doing everything for the child. We are here to teach, not to cater. Please teach manners. It's really hard to teach them once they get to be adults! Plus, it's a reflection on parenting skills whether you like it or not. Always remember, you are the parent. The kids should never be the ones making the rules. It's good to get their input, but experience and maturity should be handing down the rules and values. Again, don't threaten punishment, i.e. - "you do that one more time and I'm going to take the (blank) away", unless you are prepared to back it up. Don't get lazy. The kids will always remember you folded and you will have he_ _ to pay!

Be patient. Give lots of hugs and always tell them you love them. Let them be who they are. Don't try to make them into something you want them to be.