before 2008 ended

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The year ended with Lola Doning -- our grandmother, tatay’s mother, passing away. I wanted to believe that Lola died because she has served her purpose on earth and that eventually she lived her life to the fullest. I did not cry. But my mind has been searching of memories with her. Memories that I wanted to say were best or were pleasant ones. I have been also looking into my heart those kinds of memories... but all I can think of are memories I had of Lolo Panyong. I envied those cousins who were able to cherish Lola’s company... for I did not have what they experienced with Lola. Am I bad for not having the happy memories that my father would have expected us to have of our lola? Lola, may your soul rest in peace...