Are you normally guarded with people?

Hello Kalav.....Well if I am interacting with strangers,or with people I am not very intimate with, than I am very much guarded and do not open up easily.I just keep to myself and join in only if essential and like to be a good listener ,than a talker.....But in the company of close relatives and friends,I just like to let down my hair and have a real blast...It should be laughter and fun all the way......I do not spare older or younger ones....... Well yes I do beleive that its best to be a little discreet when interacting with different types of people .It will not do to become a complete misfit or to making yourself the laughing stock of the entire group by behaving out of context..... Happy mylotting to you dear...and a happy 2009 too.....

hi kalav! i guess i can say that i am also guarded in a way. it depends on the person i am with. i can be talkative and silent in any case. there are people who prefer to converse, and then i would be conversant. but there are people who prefer to be left alone, i respect that. but there are people who like to be in the center of attention, hogging the limelight, it is fine with me. i don't mind staying in the corner. i guess what i am trying to say is that, my being guarded is not really because i don't trust people. but it is really observing them and what makes them work and tick. i don't like conflict, so i am very considerate. whatever makes them happy will make me happy. take care and God bless you!

I am a quiet person by nature and dont feel comfortable all the time with people around me.Yes though i like people like you but its all that we all are different.It takes me some time time to open up with people and when am close i too talk a lot with that person.

I'm not really guarded which is more mistrustful in nature, but I am reserved. I am naturally an introvert. Not shy I can talk about anything with anyone, I just prefer to listen more than I do to talk and I am very comfortable with silence as well. And I do think that a positive outlook is healthy, but it's much easier to maintain with that dose of realism and pinch of objectivity you mention. There is a saying: "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me!" Life is about learning and growing so we hopefully don't repeat our disasters.

First, I have to say that I basically believe the opposite of you. I feel that humans are innately "evil", or minimally neutral. I think that "good" deeds are basically learned behaviors by everyone, though some people may have it easier do to genetics or what not. However, still, I think everyone in the world is selfish and does not always intend to help others. That said, I am also quiet and not to talkative (at least at first) because I have been harmed in the past by being to trusting and such. I am an open person, in that I will practically talk with anyone. But, I am also reserved in that I am not that open, initally, in terms of what I am willing to discuss. In the end, everyone needs a "dose of realism" so that we can accept that bad things will happen to us if we let down our guard. Even those relationships we trust can potentially harm us, perhaps worse then just the pain a stranger can bring.

I'm pretty quiet, and I don't like to admit it. People are not open, because of multiple reasons, but I'll tell you the main two reasons why some people may not be open and talkative. 1. Having issues with their appearance or figure. 2. Have had problems with people in the past. Why I'm quiet? Mainly because of the second reason. I've had a lot of trouble in the past trusting people and all.

For the most part I consider myself outgoing if people are interested in talking with me. But if I am around strangers I do not know and they are quiet and not wanting to talk, then I am usually quiet as well. But I am also not one to give too many thoughts and opinions to something until I get to know them for Fear of upsetting or offending them as well.

I pretty much mix with like minded people and that makes me selectively guarded. I can yap, yap and yap with my friends and people whom I like and kid of gel with. On the contrary I can be an introvert in professional sphere and also with people who are not my kind. I feel, we humans are different in our own rights and we must not be judgmental. It's a misconception that people who talk less are sneaky and clever. I feel, it's just another kind of disposition just as people who love talking. Hugs.

I'm a pretty quiet and guarded person because I have had some issues with friends in the past so I am careful. I am just naturally shy but will open up some and can be quite talkative once I get to know someone.

I am naturally introvert and i don't feel bad about it. It doent mean i don't speak, i can speak to anyone about anything. I am happy being silent as well. I prefer understanding the other person first, listening to them, then i feel more comfortable talking to them.

I am in between, I can neither term myself as very guarded nor very talkative.It will depend with whom I'm talking to. If the person is known to me then I'll love talking to him/her, however if a person is unknown to me, I'll open up with him/her very soon.It takes time for me to open up. Basically, I am listener and I love to listen, in comparison to talking.

I get so nervous around people that I usually talk too much and too fast and make a fool of myself. That is why I would rather stay home and be online. I do not like being out and around people. I know my self esteem is not good. I just do not know how to fix it. The older I get the worse it gets.

Hi kalav56! I could see that you are a friendly and trusting person and that is nice. However, I am not like you who can be so open with people. I am friendly but there is same caution on my part now. I guess, it is because of some experiences I had before in trusting people and friends. I am not really a talker. I am usually quiet and I think I am more of a listener. However, I do agree with you that all people are basically good. There is always something good inside each and everyone of us. Take care always. lovelots..faith210

Yikes, I have this tendency to be over talkative that I get a sore throat the next day. But the worst part is, there are times I open up some quite personal topics to some people I barely know or just had a seat with in a bus, or the ferry, or in an office and after that I just feel terrible for my very wide mouth. I tend to be over trusting without thinking that it might create a negative impression on people about me. Like, if Im not able to hide personal issues about me, I may not also be able to keep secrets of other people. And realy, a lot of times, I got into trouble because of over-gossiping like I don't have my own flaws. Can anyone advise me, though? How do you keep your mouth shut and open it at the right time and place?

I think I've become a guarded person. I think I was shy as a child, got over it a bit and became fairly out going, but now I'm back to being somewhat guarded. The main reason for this... The people that I come into contact with tend to be very judgemental and critical. I don't deal with will those things, so I choose not to interact with a lot of people.

Probably when these people were younger they were told not to talk, I know it happened in my own family. My Dad used to say, "Children should be seen and not heard." Also, we were told not to talk at the dinner table, but yet my parents would talk about work and those dirty so and sos that bothered them. That's what puzzled me. Also, if you have a habit of blurting out things that got you into trouble-that would make you not want to converse with people, too. And some people are just shy, so it's hard for them to express themselves, unless they know the other person really well.

It's really nice that you can speak to all people. I however tend to be on the quiet side and I'm quite reserved when it comes to meeting new people. I am going through a contradiction though as I absolutely want to start getting involved with other people! I want to meet other people and I want to enjoy life with other people. I suppose you have to give others the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. I would like to have more faith that most people are really nice deep inside. Perhaps I will make more of an effort this year as regards communicating with total strangers! Andrew

I am a very social, cheerful, friendly person who loves to interact with others, learn more and share experiences! Perhaps thats why I am here on MyLot too :) Even I believe in basic goodness of people and that harm should not come to you if you have not done anything wrong but experience has taught me to exercise caution especially initially. Because things are changing in this world..people take advantage of your openness and generosity sometimes in such a harsh and unexpected way that it could destroy your faith in people forever. They can swindle you of your money, harm you physically or even do an identity theft. So its best to proceed cautiously, especially with strangers. There is no harm in sharing tips or directions if someone is asking for it or seems lost but I guess we should not divulge too much about ourselves, career, addresses, contact details etc and definitely never lend money to a stranger!

I wouldn't say I'm a quiet person. I still talk to others and exchange thoughts and ideas, but I think that is different then just letting people in right away. You can talk to people about things without giving yourself away. I see it a lot with people. I don't mind a person who talks or is talkative, it's the people that I don't understand where you just met them and they give you a run down on their past, childhood, past partners, I"m like why do I need to know this? When getting to really know people you have to find common ground. Not neccessarily be guarded, but you have to find that common ground to move forward from there. I've found common ground with a lot of people, but I also know when I want to put energy into a friendship and when I'd rather not. I don't see anything wrong with knowing a lot of people, but only being close to a few.