The age old question; How old is too old?

How old is too old, I think it is a very hard to be answered. I think if you talk about parenting, you should consider more to the child's personality. Of course I know that you couldn't have a 15 years old son and still wleep with him because he was scared of the dark. To be honest, it happened to my youngest brother. He is the only son in the family and he was about 10 when he was still sleeping in the main bed room with my mom and dad. I told my mom that he is too old for that and she just replied me that every child has different characteristics. She believed that one day he would go to his own room without any enforcement and willing to sleep by himself. everything needs time. Two years ago, he was 12 and I found him sleeping in his own bedroom alone. So my mother is right. Once he reached middle school, he would ask for his own bedroom. Don't worry about that, Faye.

As the main/only caregiver to your son, of course you would be very close to him! I am very close to my son too... it's been said by many people that it's obvious that I am his best friend. (He's 3 1/2) I do see your point about taking advantage of the few precious years you have with him. Sooner or later, he will not BE your little boy anymore... But, I think the butt-wiping issue should be put to rest. Just MHO, but if he's trained, he should be ALL the way trained. Perhaps you could suggest, because you said it was a comfort thing for him, that he try wiping himself with tissue first and then if he feels he didn't do a good enough job, you go in with a babywipe and double check. Do this a few times, throwing in "Wow, what a good job you did" and/or "You did so good without me!" Sometimes wipe him, encouraging him to do this or that to improve, sometimes tell him he did a good job and doesn't need you to do anything. Maybe this will help. The sleeping with you issue, I think is okay. I love my little guy to curl up with me. I love to watch him sleeping and the best thing is in his dreams and in his sleep, I love when he reaches out to touch me... I don't think your son is too old to be sleeping with you. Sooner than later, he will outgrow this. I have a GF who's son slept with her almost everynight... until he started having sleep-overs and started wanting privacy. He outgrew it. And your little one will too. As long as you both are getting the sleep that you need, don't worry. I'm with you on that: Enjoy those precious years when all he wants to do is be with you.

I don't know. In my opinion, 5 is definitely not too old, but it is the time to start encouraging independence. I think I would guess 7 as the age when i child should be in their own room and using the bathroom entirely on their own, even at home. I'd choose 7 because that's the legal age (around here) where children of opposite genders can't share rooms and where boys can't go into the women's washroom and girls can't go into the men's washroom.

Hi FayeSLongo, I can only express my personal feelings on this issue, you may want to talk to your child's doctor for more advice. Five may not be to old, but it is certainly an age where behavior changes need to take place if needed to address potenial future concerns. I can understand your child being afraid of the dark, but if you don't help him to overcome his fear soon, it may very well stay with him into his teens. As far as the potty is concerned, your son is obviously capable of taking care of his personal needs when using the bathroom because he does it at school it seems to me it would be healthier for him to start taking care of this need for himself. I would be concerned about this especially when you are not there to do it for him, does he allow others to wipe his bottom, that isn't good either. I would encourage you to lovingly start helping your child to be more independant especially in this area. I wish you the very best, be happy, be joyful. Oohcute2340

He is a little kid. He needs you, and you are no stranger, you are the mother, and who else is going to comfort your son, and do these momly things for him except you. So just enjoy being a mother, and do not think so much about these silly age things. You won't realize how quickly he will grow up, and will say you one day, that "plz mom, I am not a kid anymore". Kids grow very fast for parents. So just go ahead and enjoy every moment of being with him in any way.

I guess you will have to answer the question yourself. Who are you doing this for, yourself or you child. Children need parents to be parents, they have lots of friends, and if the parent does not parent there is nobody else. As a parent you should be growing an independent human being who is able to look after himself, you seem to be fostering dependence. If you ever hook up with a man you will find that there will be a lot of resentment on behalf of you child as the new man will be sleeping with you and he will feel cast aside as he will no longer be welcome in your bed. Maybe soon you might consider weening him into his own bed. As far as grandpa is concerned I would suggest he mind his own business unless he is being asked to wipe grandson's bum in which case I would be annoyed too. Just be sure by the time he is ready to go to college you do not have to follow him around with a roll of toilet paper.

My son is 9 and though he does most of the things himself, he still sleeps with me. Wiping the bottom was a big issue with him too partly because he did not want to ‘dirty’ himself. It took a lot of force from my mom for him to start and by then he was well past 6 yrs I think. On this you need to be firm coz this is something not everybody would want to do for a child (for a baby its OK) so maybe that’s why his grandpa wants you to handle this. Regarding sleeping, I enjoy his company and he feels comfortable sleeping next to me. See, our children are growing up so fast, you will never know when they no longer need you…till they feel they do, I am always for them. in time, my son himself would want to sleep alone, maybe just another year or two but till he does not, he sleeps with me.

he is too old he should be train to wipe his on bottom by now and he is to old to be sleeping with you .something needs to change the way the laws are today.work on it now before it,s to late.

I had 4 kids and I raised them alone so to an extent I can relate to how you feel here. wiping his butt is a bit much. In all honesty, you should break him of that one and fast. I stopped doing that once my girls were out of diapers. sleeping in the same bed? hmm..you'll get mixed reviews on this one but i'll tell you...one of my girls slept with me until she was 9. It was never something we really questioned or thought about. it was just natural and it was ok. She suddenly gradually started sleeping in her own bed and that was all just natural too. I don't really see the harm in it. we snuggled and it was cozy.....we slept quite well and I kind of miss those days. she is a teen now and I have to ask for hugs! I wouldn't really worry about that too much ....do get him wiping his own darn butt tho.

I don't think he is too old, yet. I would think it's OK for a parent to "check" on a child's cleaning after going to the bathroom, as many kids don't clean themselves very well. What I'd suggest is that you insist the HE do it, and then you wipe him after, as a follow up, so that you know it's done properly -- he is only 5 after all. But that would help him to get used to doing it himself, while still having you there for support. I'm wondering if he is uncomfortable after wiping at school by himself -- if he's still a little dirty, it will be very uncomfortable and irritating -- and that's why he prefers not to do it, even tho he may not be able to explain it. For sleeping, it seems even the "experts" are very divided on that! I don't think he's too old now. But maybe something you should be talking about now, for in the future, when he's ready. One other thing. Some of this sounds like he is very, very particular, and I just wonder if he has any other "issues" or preferences that concern you? The reason I ask is if he has other things too, it might be a good idea to talk to a Dr about whether your son might have something like Asperger's syndrome. If these two are the only items, I wouldn't worry.

I think people have already addressed this but I thought I would put my 2 cents in anyways. My step daughter was sleeping with her mom until she was about 5 as well...It was a problem in our house because she would have to sleep with us when she came over, We did get her out of the habit....she stayed with me and my husband for a week one time and it took EVERYTHING out of us trying to get her to go to sleep in her own bed. She cried almost the whole night and my husband ended up punching a wall because he was sooooo frustrated with her. I think in the long term it harmed her. Just because she has a lot of sleeping problems now...she went through a stage when she was 9...she is 12 now where she would not even sleep at our house....we had to rearrange all of the bedroom...me and my husband were in the smallest room for awhile so she could sleep in the room with her little sister....she still wants to sleep with her when she comes over her....every weekend. She has to have it a certain way all the time and the slightest noise seems to wake her. That being said that is her only problems....She is a great child very responsible and caring and takes care of her little sisters, and has straight A's....I just worry about her as she gets even older...such as university, She may have a hard time adjusting to sleeping in a dorm. My 3 year old I am having a very hard time getting her to sleep on her own so I do know what you are going through....Some nights she is fine climbs into bed we do our story and song and she stalls for a few minutes....but some nights it is a fight and every night she wakes up at least once and i usually end up in her bed because she is scared.....but i do put her back in her bed...if not me and my hubby would be exhausted. Well I hope i gave you a few things to think about. Good luck and you must remember you have to be strong....The sooner you get him out of the habit the sooner you get better sleep as well!!!

How old is too old? Well I'm with most of the other responders in believing that it's different with each child. But how much of this is for his comfort and how much is for Mom's reassurance? I understand not forcing a child who is afraid of the dark to sleep in his own room, but what are you doing to help him conquer that fear? Or for that matter to understand it. Sometimes if we know just exactly what it is that makes us fear something, we can get over it. You seem to have a good rapport with your son, so encourage him to talk about his fear of the dark and talk about the advantages of having his own room and sleeping in his own bed. I think the butt issue has been addressed sufficiently.

I think there is no problem in any mother doing all these things for the child. The only point of concern is that he should not be adamant in any thing. He should not stick to the things and try and be flexible. It would be good for his self development in the future.

How old is too old? It varies depending upon each person.I cant put an exact age on pottey training and hygene for children but I will say that the sooner you start the better it will be. not just because of the inconvenience of having to wipe him when he's done but just because its more sanitary for him to learn this.Also as a child my mother was the only parent in my home & I slept in the bed with her until I was around 15.I had my own room but that was always where I wanted to be. That has always been a comfortable place for me. It also provided a time for us to communicate our feelings, goals, dreams, thoughts, etc. Even as a married adult with 2 kids I still found myself visiting mom and climbing in her bed for one of our long talks.I lost my mother two years ago and believe me when I say I wish for just 1 more time to lay there and talk to my best friend until we fall alseep.

sweet son he is...my 3 years old nephew also need we adults to carry him on the arms when go for a walk or anywhere we go for. his mother is fed up with his such request because his 3 years old that can walk himself well and his weight is growing to nearly 20kilos . his mother really can't carry him on the arms for herself only has the weight of 40kilos. but i always advised her that the child grows quickly and they won't let us to carry him on arm when he grow a little old..so we need to catch the time and chance to hug him as much as we can...it's just the love from we .

Yes,said really this really very difficult saying that I also a little am difficult to determine actually many old am too old.This question is a little difficult to reply.