how to confront a cheating spouse?

Well, I am 99.9% sure that my wife has not cheated on me since we have been together, so I am probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this issue. I would certainly think that the best way to handle this would be to stay calm. Does she suspect that you know, or does she think she is getting away with it without your knowledge? Do you have any proof that she is cheating on you, or do you just have a suspicion? Probably the best way to bring this up is to just come right out and tell her that you think she is cheating on you and ask her for the truth, but be sure that you give her the reasons that you suspect this is happening. Certainly don't come right out and accuse her. Give her the benefit of the doubt, and give her the opportunity to come clean, or to prove to you that she is not...

You don't sound real upset over it. Where do you stand on it? If it isn't that big a deal then you might as well let it stand. If it does upset and hurt you I would find a quiet moment and tell your spouse just that.

As calmly as possible. I think getting into a heated argument will just aggravate things and most of the time won't resolve the problem. But talking as calm as possible about what you have witnessed would make your partner think and maybe realize his/her mistake.

Hi bcote Don't get into an argument, (thought that be hard to do)if you know for sure the your spouse is cheating, let him know that your know. But to be honest, it hard to say what anyone would do.

I guess there is no "good" introduction for that. I would just ask them about some of their behavior lately and then go into your accusation but with proof so even if they deny it you'll still have all the evidence. It works the same with men and women, its a tough road to go down.

Hi bc, This is what I did. I just happened to find out from the other husband about his wife an my husband. It was in the middle of the afternoon. I called my husband and told him to come home now. I refused to talk about it on the phone. He came right home, I'm sure he knew what was coming. I looked him staight in the eye and asked him point blank. By this point I had already known in my heart that he was cheating to put it nicely. I had suspected it for months. I was trying to find out who and get some evidence. We had been having problems and I set us up with a marriage counselor. This was long before it all came out. He lied to the counselor and then refused to go back. Later on he said he couldn't lie to the counselor but no problem lying to me. Anyway, He admitted it and we sat down and talked it all through. Of course I wanted all the details. Where, when and why seemed to be obvious. Try to avoid an argument if at all possible. That just puts her on the defense and makes it easier to deny, deny. Calmly, ask her to sit down and talk. Tell her what you know and ask specific questions. If she lies and refuses to discuss it, be ready with a solution or decision. I realize that you have to do what you need to do, but try to start off calmly. I wish you all the luck. leenie