Do you have a mixed race child?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
January 7, 2009 6:32am CST
I'm a white woman, married to a white man, with 4 white children. However my oldest son's father was a black man. He obviously looks a bit different from my other kids, although it's never been an issue in our house.
I recently had a friend ask me if anyone has ever asked me why my son is different. We live in a very small community, and the community is mostly white. I can understand why my friend asked this question, I'd be curious as well if I weren't in the situation. However another friend who was part of this conversation was offended for me. I personally didn't think much of it.
My son's race has never been an issue, never. He knows his real father is black, and he knows his siblings are not.
Since it is a small community, everyone knows us. Everyone can see that my son is different. Nobody has ever said a word about it. I mean obviously they just put 2 and 2 together and realize he's from another relationship. It's not that uncommon anymore.
Do you have a mixed race child? Do you have other children from another relationship who are not mixed race? Has your child's race ever been an issue, either with friends, family, or in your community? Have you ever had questions or comments about your child's color?
2 people like this
13 responses
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
7 Jan 09
My son is all white, but my daughter is mixed. Her dad is black. I live in a rural area where most of the people are white. I have people telling me all the time how beautiful my daughter is and how great her hair is, not any negative comments. I have had a few people tell me how beautiful she is and then ask me if she was mine or if she was adopted since her brother is white. My son has had one little girl at school give him crap about his sister though. She is a nasty little girl and she was before she found out his sister was mixed. He upset him one day about it and THREE girls in his class went off on her and she ran away crying and has not bothered him about it since. I did have a chat with the principal about it and she said if it ever happens again to let her know because she will not tolerate anything like that at her school.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Jan 09
Some people will just find any reason to get you going, ya know.
I once did have someone assume my oldest was adopted. I'd known her a couple years before she even mentioned it. She made some sort of comment about how my 3 younger boys looked alike, but made it sound as if those 3 were my only boys. I politely mentioned I had 4 boys (they were all with me at the time), and she said "Oh yeah, I know, but I wasn't sure if he was yours or not" meaning she thought he was adopted. I set her straight, politely of course, I was not offended. She has 2 girls by different dads, although you wouldn't know by looking at them because they both look like her.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
7 Jan 09
My kids look nothing alike skin tone aside. I think my daughter looks just like her dad, but he says she looks just like me. (So, I guess I should take it as a compliment when people tell me how beautiful she is. 
) My son looks like his dad and nothing like me.
) My son looks like his dad and nothing like me.@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Jan 09
I can't decide who my oldest looks like, I guess he looks more like his dad. He has brother's from different moms... a bunch actually. There are 5 boys in this city alone that were fathered by the same man, but 3 different moms. One of the moms was my best friend for about 4 years (odd, I know) but her son was the spitting image of his father, which is why I didn't really think mine looked like his dad, because these 2 look nothing alike.
But the 3rd woman, I met her and her boys a few times, she had identical twins who looked a bit more like her, and a boy a year older than my son. Now my son and her youngest were identical! I mean spitting image, even the way they moved and talked were exactly alike! You would not have been able to tell them apart at all, except since they were so young you could tell there was an age difference. At the time my son was 3 and her son was 4.
Now the oddest thing about this is even though the boys were born in different years, they all have birthdays in May. The oldest are the 3rd woman's twins, they were born in 93, their birthday is May 12. Then came her other son, born in 96, his birthday was towards the end of May, the 27th I think. My son was born May 13 1997 and my friend's son was born May 20th 1997. Weird, huh?
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Hey kats~I don't have any children at all. I think that as
long as your son is comfortable with who he is and is accepted
as is all your other children in the family that no one should
make this an issue! My boyfriend that lives with me is black.
He has 5 children with 5 different women! Yeah, I know not
very good! He only deals with his daughter. Not my business
since all this happened many years ago and I do not comment!
As you said, mixed race is not uncommon and it should not
even be a slight issue. As long as your son is happy and
comfortable there is no reason to bring up this point!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
8 Jan 09
I know there is no reason to bring up the point, I was just curious is all. I know it's common these days.
@chilenita (473)
• Canada
8 Jan 09
very closed minded i would say that lady is that asked such a silly question... u dont need to ask.... unless ur that nosie...I have have been on both sides... when i see a white gril with mixed kid white, black, hispanic... frist thing goes threw my head..... dam what a s*** LOL! or "shes international" i make lil jokes but i have gone to places with my grils kids one ones white mine was latino and i had a white baby in my arms... and omg the looks i was getting was so funny.. but i allways try to make the joke frist:D... I have lots of friends with diffrent fathers and races of kids but my personal choice for my self is try to stick to one kind but if love takes me some were eles not muc i can really do lol..... im currently no with the father of my child but if down the line im still single and wished for another baby i would ask him for the favor LOL..i have seen single 2 in half yrs same age as my son..but other then all this mixed race trun out be very very good looking a mulato skin... and the tight curls dam gril ur gonna have busy phone hehe
oxoxox Chilenita
@chilenita (473)
• Canada
8 Jan 09
very closed minded i would say that lady is that asked such a silly question... u dont need to ask.... unless ur that nosie...I have have been on both sides... when i see a white gril with mixed kid white, black, hispanic... frist thing goes threw my head..... dam what a s*** LOL! or "shes international" i make lil jokes but i have gone to places with my grils kids one ones white mine was latino and i had a white baby in my arms... and omg the looks i was getting was so funny.. but i allways try to make the joke frist:D... I have lots of friends with diffrent fathers and races of kids but my personal choice for my self is try to stick to one kind but if love takes me some were eles not muc i can really do lol..... im currently no with the father of my child but if down the line im still single and wished for another baby i would ask him for the favor LOL..i have seen single 2 in half yrs same age as my son..but other then all this mixed race trun out be very very good looking a mulato skin... and the tight curls dam gril ur gonna have busy phone hehe
oxoxox Chilenita
@laglen (19759)
• United States
8 Jan 09
Me and my child are white. But my nephews are half white half Mexican. My nieces are half Phillipino. In our family we embrace this diversity. Spanish and Tagalog are very similar languages so we all are trying to learn these. Not as a chore but for the sake of learning something new. I feel badly for people with such closed minds. It is what it is. Your child is your child. I don't think it matters what color or where he is from. Good for you not being offended. I don't think it was meant to be offensive.
@jcay_lorna (433)
• Ireland
8 Jan 09
I am a Filipina married to an Irishman and my son is a mixed race obviously. At the moment he's color can diffinitely be noticed as a mixed race. He's not brown color like me and he's diffinitely not as fair as my husband. When we go to the Philippines he usually stands out because of he's color and when were here in Ireland he's also different. Fortunately, the issue of mixed race here in Ireland is not as bad as in other countries and were more accepted here.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
Both my sons are mixed race I am pure Chinese and my husband is pure Filipino. For the Chinese, it used to be an issue since they prefer the Chinese women marry Chinese men. But they are becoming more open now and I believe that as long as we dedicate time to making my boys understand the culture of both races, they will be able to adjust.
I am pure Chinese and my husband is pure Filipino. For the Chinese, it used to be an issue since they prefer the Chinese women marry Chinese men. But they are becoming more open now and I believe that as long as we dedicate time to making my boys understand the culture of both races, they will be able to adjust.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
7 Jan 09
I have 4 children all by the with the same father. We are all white.
My sister(white) married a black man. They have a daughter. It is funny to talk to her because she is a nice mocha color and she insists that she is white like her mom. Her mom is pasty white! Then in the summer she gets mad when she gets a sun tan and her skin darkens because she says that she doesn't want her skin to be brown like her dads.
I don't think anyone in the community ever comment or even think about it. There are so many mixed race kids in our town, it is more the norm.
@sweetmafia (249)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
I am a Filipina and my son is half Filipino-Chinese. His father is a Taiwanese. That is why he has chinky eyes and yellow skin.
However, he seldom see his dad anymore because we separated and didn't get married. I am a single parent now.
@celebratelifeh (1142)
• China
8 Jan 09
ah...i used to talked to my older sister that the mixed race child are seems to be more lovely and more clever than the same race. now she is married and has his own son but not a mixed race one. he is also very clever and cute though he is not the mixed one what we've discussed .tanks gods.
@ethansmommy06 (401)
• United States
7 Jan 09
i do not but my cousin just had a baby of mixed race. nobody makes a big deal about it because the baby is just so precious. i think all children are. I also do not believe that people should make comments about biracial children either,it rude and mean.
