messing up things..what will youdo??

I haven't had this experience yet, but I would never ask for help to clean my house from a person who comes to my house

Hello vanities, Oh, this is one of the situation that I hate so much! If I were you, I will simply do the cleaning here and there, right in front of her while entertaining her and the son. Just to make her realized how messy my house has become because of her son. If she still doesn't feel guilty for letting that to happen, I don't know what kind of person she is... You're still polite to your guests and I think she get offended as how you could ask her to help cleaning the house since they're the guests. I experienced this before but it wasn't my house, it was my sister's. Her sister in law came with her son who loved to take whatever he wants or he would cry. The mother let him took whatever he wants. He kept throwing toys, I kept collecting them and put into the toy basket. We know each other pretty well so I acted normal in front of her. I even asked my sister whether I should throw the broken toys into the dustbin as they're no longer useful for my nephew. Her sister in law felt guilty I guess, and asked her son to stop messing up the house and went back shortly!

H[i]i vanities, It is given and instinct already for any parent to clean up the mess of their kids especially when they are with their friend's house. There is nothing wrong with what you did! I experienced that also with a very close friend of mine, what I hate about it is that she wil not also call the attention of her kid who is messing around, touching anything, turning on and off the Tv and so on and so forth..I was really pissed off as well as my sister but my friend is doing nothing! SO, I told her to just hold her kid and never allow it to walk around the house. I know it was mean but she knows me! LOL! I was working that time and have no time to clean our apartment all the time especially I don't like to spend money to fix whatever appliances she will destroy if ever![/i]

you were right. At 6 years old, he should know how to behave in other peoples homes. The fact that you had to tell her to help, tells us why there was a problem to begin with. It is the parent's responsibility to teach the kids how to act in other peoples homes. She should have been watching her child. and what about the broken stuff...she should have offered to replace them. You are right on this one.

I dread such people coming to my house and would prefer to break the friendship rather than suffer such damage to my costly an dprecious memorablia. I just can't stand parents who can not check their children who are destructive. My children were never destructive as i never let them touch things they are not supposed to. I was overly careful if i went to someone's house. Such behavious of parents is just not acceptable.

I don't think it's wrong to have help cleaning up. But I think the child should have helped you, not the mother. It's pretty clear that there is a difference in parenting skills here. When you ask the child to right your home again, it's making that child take responsibility for the mess they created. If mom was offended, then that is her problem not yours. I don't think you were wrong in the least. You respect your home and any visiter there should respect it too.

I would of done the same. This child is 6 years old that is old enough not to be running around the house making messes. I have grand kids that are 2 and 3 and they don't come over here and make a big mess. I mean kids will move things but if it is a big mess thir mom "will" be helping me clean up. Has she been back or called? She may have been a little miffed and or you may have just thought she was. Most people that bring or take their kids anywhere keep a better watch on them. If it is a small mess then no i don't make them help. Because well that is what kids do.

I would have let them go and never have them back. I would chalk it up to a lesson learned. I say this because she didn't offer to help. When my child was little I would clean up after her even in a restaurant!

Hey vanities, sounds like a very stressful situation. Whenever I have small children over I am constantly disciplining them and helping them learn the boundaries in my home. Simple things like you play with it, you put it away before you move on to something different. If it gets broken, depending on the valuable of it depends on whether I will let it go or ask the parent to replace it. In your case I would have told the child that we needed to clean up before they go, usually the parent will then see the need and just pitch in and help the child pick up so they can leave asap. If you are concerned about her response, find the right time and ask her about it, a true friend will be honest and you can clear the air, and next time she will know what you expect from her and her children. Sometimes we just let the little things build up because be don't want to offend or upset someone, when the whole thing can be put to rest with a open, honest conversation. Good Luck! be happy, be joyful, be safe, be strong! oohcute2340

I don' blame you for the issue that you have with this. I know that my son should also clean up if he helped make a mess somewhere. I get the idea that you like to keep a tidy house. I am pretty much the same way when it comes to my home. I don't like it when a parent does not even try to get their child to clean up something. If this friend is mad she'll get glad again.

hi vanities i don have kids...but knowing some people with kids, i believe that it is the current trend where the parents allow the children to be "child" .. Most parents act as "cool" parents rather than the olden days "strict" parents .. i remember my young days, 1 look from my mother and we will all shiver and sit at one place cheers

i think u juzz said, wot u felt at dat tym.. u were ryt according to the situation.. buh when the child strt creating mess u must stop him coz deez kinda childrn must be stopped for der terrible doins.. den fov near future der migh tbe less probs 'n' den der wud be no talk wid ur frend abt the mess..

If i were in your shoes, i'd do the same thing.. in the first place, your friend should have stopped her son from messing inside your house.. it's her responsibility to watch over her son and make him behave while in public places.. and she doesn't have the right to feel offended in any way..

hi, I guess there's nothing wrong with what you've done and if she's really a friend she will volunteer to clean up the mess of his son. if I were on your situation I'll do same. I'll ask her to me clean everything and it won't matter to me if will be offended or what.

Personally, I would be a little upset with the way things conspired from this, and for your friend to not be watching her son, and then complain when you asked for help to clean up the place was not acceptable at all. If it was me, I would have had to express my feelings, and if she did not like it, I would ask her to leave, and not bring her son around if she still wanted to be Friends until he learns how to respect others property a little more. This to me is unreal, and I hope somehow you can come to terms with this that will be best for you and your relationship with this person as well.

I would be slightly upset to say the least. I would of told them as soon as the mess started to "Hey, what's up with that" to verbalize my indifference to that sort of activity in my home. Once something broke the first time, I would of really spoke up, saying "Hey, That is NOT okay". I can not believe that they did not just clean the mess up, without having to be asked. I feel that as disrespect towards you. This has happened to me. When my niece and nephew were small. I had my place 'child proofed' though so nothing got broken but what a mess when they'd leave. Their Mom would tidy some up but I was left to tidy the rest. It was more like a joke to laugh about, than a problem. They are my niece and nephew and I love them. Should anything of gotten broken, I am almost positive that their Mom would of corrected the matter however. I do not feel that you were at all wrong for asking her to clean up. I am appalled that she was offended. Sounds to me that she needs to teach her child some basic manners and a little about respect for other people's things is not a bad idea. I would be reluctant to have them in my home again. Makes you kind of wonder what the child is like in his own home, doesn't it. I

My daughter in law does that.....she comes with the little one and doesn't lift a finger to help clean up the mess.....It kind of got to me so the next time I babysat for them I let her do whatever she wanted and left the mess for them to clean up....so now it's a little different. They both help clean up before they leave.

Well yeah, its okay for you to ask her to help you out with the mess because it was his son who did the mess. And first of, she should have at least stopped his son or something. I just hate it when parents ignore their child's behavior especially when its in someone else's home.

My son is almost a year old, but when I go to friends I always stop him from tearing things up and if he does make a mess I clean it up myself. I tend to take my son to friends who have kids his age so the parents are normally understanding. That or they tell me not to worry about it, but I clean up anyway. You had all rights to ask the person to clean up the mess. I would have done the same thing if I were you.

His mother should have stopped him in the first place. If she is reluctant to do that, you should have done it, but of course in a wise and natural way. For instance, you can find him something to serve as toys, squat down to his height to tell him stories, play coupling with him with cards, make funny drawings, etc. You must have been chatting with his mother all the time, totally neglecting him at your side. How dull he must be feeling! The Boy should have been given equal hospitality at your home to avoid the messing. If you did not take care to stop, better not bother for help from his mother. You have no problem with the cleaning itself. If you want his mother to know your feeling, just a word of hint is enough.