Dividing Responsibilities

I think if both are working, then housework and duties pertaining to the children should be split fairly evenly - unless otherwise agreed upon by both partners (not one partner dictating to the other). However, even if only one spouse is working, that does NOT mean the homebound spouse should be responsible for everything! It is the working spouse's home/children too, and they should help out their partner where they can. Being a stay at home spouse/parent is a very demanding job, despite what many think, and the ones that stay at home need an occasional "coffee break" too! For a long time, I was a stay at home mom (I now work as a nanny). I still expected my husband to help with the housework and the kids. Sure, he goes out and earns a paycheck, but does that mean he gets to come home and do NOTHING while I'm still busting my behind from sunrise to sunset without a break? I don't think so! While I agree that the spouse at home should be responsible for more of the housework than the spouse who works, it shouldn't be an all or nothing proposition.

While I think it's true that the duties should be more evenly shared when both spouses are working, I think that the blame for a messy house will always remain with the wife. If you go to a messy house, you are thinking (whether you may be correct or not) that the wife is really very sloppy to let her house get that way! No one is really ever thinking "What a messy Husband he must be"! I think this is why women are more likely to do more of the work than the man.

i agree w/you. i think that both shoiuld help along w the children if they are big enough. by the way it doesn't take two. i have been on my own for over 30 years & i have made it.

If both work, the couple should share the household work. But it is still the wife who is taking the lion's share in this respect. We cannot stay awaiting the husband taking the active role. Unless they have experience of living single, they used to depend on their parents, and knows little about it. Therefore, better you originate a proposal, requiring your man to select, or do the relatively heavy manual jobs, while you caring about the fine intricate ones. With someone you love so much, you are supposed to be ready to make-up in case of contingency. If he is really away too far, select a proper time to utter your goodwill reminding. Reasonalbe patience and sense of humor are needed to keep a happy family. Sign of frustration, or bad words will go the opposite. Gentlemen are to be brought up from childhood, and likewise, the sense of responsibility to be developed from childhood. But the assignments must be specific, from easy to difficult, and with encouragement and praises along with.