A little thing called loving discipline...
By amazingheart
@amazingheart (781)
Philippines
January 10, 2009 9:34am CST
Yes, there is such a thing as discipline that not only works but also reinforces hat age - old parental mantra " I;m only doing this because I love you"
1. Decode his message. Is there something your child wants to say he can't do clearly?
2. Don't let your child see discipline in a negative context. Help him understand that love and discipline do not contradict each other. Disciplinary action, whenever necessary, is a function of parental love.
3. Make the punishment fit the crime. If the crime involves overzealousness with crayons, just a take away the crayons. If hes having trouble controlling his temper, a time out maybe more effective than spanking. And whatever the misbehavior, never ever withhold food(or other basic necessities) from a hungry child as punishment. Make it clear that what he did was bad but he is not.
4. Choose your battles. Toddlers have an uncanny knack for pushing their caregivers to the limits. You can fight over every detail, but you'll soon get tired and your toodler will still be less cooperative.
5. Use positive reinforcement. Complimenting and rewarding good behavior almost always ensures repeats. But don't over do it. Compliments for everything he does gradually render your approvals meaningless.
Happy mylotting parents...
3 people like this
3 responses
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I think that an important thing to add to the good suggestions being made here by you and others is that children sometimes need to be given replacement behaviors.
It is not enough to tell them that a behavior or action was wrong but tell them, in child terms, what the behavior you want looks like.
Also, if the behavior they are exhibiting in and of itself is not wrong but is just wrong for the situation then tell them when it is appropriate ("yelling is an activity we do on the playground not inside the house").
Good discussion, amazingheart.
2 people like this
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
10 Jan 09
OK - I think I disagree with the action taken for Item No. 3. Because what?. To my opinion that child is very creative. My action that would be is, I will let them finished coloring by using that crayons and I will give some more papers as a punishment to let them release their energy rapidly while demonstrating their ideas and creativity. In other way to get them feeling tired and they need to sleep.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I agree with your ideas of discipline. I would rather use these ideas and not hit my child or abuse him. It is true about the punishment fitting the crime. It is the child's behavior making us mad not the child himself.
We always need to reinforce to the child that we love them unconditionally. Take care and thanks for the info.1 person likes this
