If your brother or sister told you they were gay, would you disown them?
By hdjohnson
@hdjohnson (2981)
United States
January 10, 2009 5:49pm CST
I have never had this happen to me from the standpoint of a sibling. Most of my older brothers were a bit (excuse the term hoe'ish), but my sister had gotten married and she remains married today. I have 4 brothers. 2 of them died. 1 of them is single, and the other is divorced and single.
I would be a bit surprised if one of my living brothers ended up telling me that he was gay. My sister I have no doubt will remain married until she dies or the rapture takes place, whichever comes first. Now I have had a couple of co-workers that looked and sounded straight as a arrow, but told me that they were into guys. Talk about shocked; the other shocking part was one of them told me that he even liked me, and wanted to tell me before trying anything and jeopardizing our friendship. Boy talk about respect. Did I ever appreciate him telling me that, as I politely let him know, that I was only into girls, but he and I could still be friends, but never ever anything more. He understood and thanked me for my friendship. Have you discovered something about someone that totally shocked you? What did you do? Stay friends with them, disown them? Inquiring minds want to know.
This little story happened, at the ripe age of 16 or 17 years old.
3 people like this
4 responses
@megsgem (123)
• United States
14 Jan 09
I would not disown a sibling or a child even if they were gay...Infact my kids would have already told me if they were and I would have no problem with it... I disowned a friend once cuz she was cheating on her husband and sayiong she was with me...I told her " If you can lie to God and lie to your husband what on earth would ever make me think you were telling me the truth"....I also did a friend a a big favor like allow him to live in our house for months on end for free. In the end he lied to me about something important to me so that he could have his way and screw up my plans...I said " you are out of here!" he and my hubby are still friends but I am very cold to him...I don't like liars! being gay I belive is the way one is just made...God don't make mistakes!
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
14 Jan 09
Wow, that is such an interesting response to my discussion. I agree God doesn't make mistakes either.
On another note, I do hope you are able to find the forgiveness in your heart to one day forgive this person. It doesn't matter if you do not ever forget, (although forgetting is actually apart of forgiving!) Please don't allow others mistakes or even their misbehavior cause you to change your usual demeanor or attitude about people in general.
I am not sure if this is actually the case with you, I am just attempting to assist you, because you brought God into the picture. The Word of God says, that we should "love our enemies, as we would love ourselves." It also says that "God is Love." So we should definitely be willing to forgive others trepasses, as God is willing to forgive our trespasses, right?
Just a few nuggets for thought. Thanks for your input and have a great day!
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
14 Jan 09
You ultimately are responsible for the people you decide to hang out with or not. You control the people you allow to get close to you. All I'm saying is please try to forgive the person who you treat coldly now, even though your husband is still friends with him. Does you husband know what he did. If so, I'm quite sure that he doesn't condone the person's past actions. If you husband does not, do you think he will still be friends with the person? No matter what you decide, as long as it does not affect your relationship with your husband!
@megsgem (123)
• United States
14 Jan 09
He know what he did and they too are not real close. It was not his first lie to us and we always help him out...but this was really an important thing and he lied and tried to minipulate the situation. He was moving out anyways and was supposed to be out ...instead he invited hid=s friends over when I was having a family reunion. He tried to act like he had no where to go and and it was an extreemly selfish and there is more but its hard to explain...and again it was not the first time...I have been burned doing good for people but i will always continue to do so...I just dont want to get burned my the same people over and over again.
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
11 Jan 09
If you disowned them, would they also have to disown you back? Cheers!!
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I wouldn't disown them, and it would be their decision. Some people jump to conclusions and start stereo typing people, and then alienate themselves from even being a part of their lives. All because they assumed that the other person would react in a certain manner. I try my best not to make assumptions.
@anonymili (3138)
•
14 Jan 09
I wouldn't have any issue with my only sibling my brother being gay, but as he married his girlfriend last year, I guess that's not going to be an issue. I know my parents would even accept it to a degree but they would be gutted as they want grandchildren and they know they're not getting any from me.
I've had male friends telling me in the past that they were gay and then wait for an adverse reaction but I didn't bat an eyelid, mostly said it was a shame that all the ladies were going to miss out on such a lovely guy but apart from that, it's their life and as long as they were happy with being gay, it was not for anyone else to judge them. Strangely enough I've never had any female friends who are lesbians or admitted to it... Don't know why...
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I can't imagine any of my sisters or brothers being gay.. I do have one sister that has never married, but she is straight, just never found the right person to marry.. I have a few gay friends, some who are out in the open and some who never speak of it, but I do know.. I love all of my family just the same, either gay or straight.. If it is wrong, that is something they have to work out, I am not the judge of anyone.. I do have one very good friend who is a flaming gay and very out in the open, he is as sweet as can be and we have been friends for years.. I have never had any woman hit on me and I am not sure how I would react if she did..
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I certainly never thought of myself as handsome enough for another guy at least, but oh yeah for my wife of course! That is a loving attitude, gay or straight, you love all of them the same! Kudos for that. 
~ I am sure you'd be surprised if a another woman were to hit on you. Hopefully though your reaction wouldn't be to physically hit her! 
~ I am sure you'd be surprised if a another woman were to hit on you. Hopefully though your reaction wouldn't be to physically hit her! 