Is he is hiding something from her?
By my_january
@my_january (967)
Philippines
January 12, 2009 10:58pm CST
So my friend got thirsty and head for a glass of water. She saw her boyfriend's mobile phone which is plugged in the charger, she decided to check it if it's already fully charged so she can removed it from the plug. It is not really her type- checking messages and stuff. She trusts her boyfriend so much to always check on his personal things. But that time, she did. One new message on the phone, number was unsaved so you won't see the name, or from who it came from, it is just the number. She read "Good morning. I missed you so much. You get well soon."
She was certain, after reading that the message was intended for his man. She stayed with him because he was sick the whole weekend. She confronted her man about it, first, he said that he don't know who it was, and then later he admit that it was his ex gf. She knew that his ex gf is still bothering her bf, even if it was evident that she is the present girl now. The ex just won't stop, sending messages and even calling him, still thinking that he is still with her.
The first time that the identity of the ex girlfriend was known to my friend, her boyfriend assured her that they are not together anymore and that he is not returning any of his ex gf messages or call. So my friend just hold on, trust her boyfriend again because "she love him" 
. But this is the 2nd time that it happened, how come the ex gf knows that he is sick? Is he hiding something from my friend? Does he and his ex gf still together? Why is the ex gf like that, she is a girl, she should know how it feels? Is he cheating or what?
. But this is the 2nd time that it happened, how come the ex gf knows that he is sick? Is he hiding something from my friend? Does he and his ex gf still together? Why is the ex gf like that, she is a girl, she should know how it feels? Is he cheating or what?3 people like this
21 responses
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
13 Jan 09
#1 The number is unsaved, yet he knows that the sender of the message is from his ex-gf. Sure, it might be that he was together long with his ex-gf to have remembered her number off hand and might had recognised the number.
#2 He assured your friend that he is not keeping in touch with his ex. But like you say if that is the case then how is it that his ex knew that he is sick? It could be that he is what he is saying that he is, and that his ex had got the information from a mutual friend, or that he could just be lying to your friend.
Now the question is, is your friend the jealous sort of girl? Do you know exactly what is going on between the both of them and had listened to both sides of the story?
Conclusion: He's might not be cheating on your friend, but he is definately hiding something from her. There are many reasons why someone does the things that they do, and well from experience I learnt never to jump to conclusions. It might be that your friend does not approve of his friendship with his ex and he felt that it is better to hide it from her or something. Whatever it is, he had lied, but whether or not he is cheating on her, that is another thing that I won't be able to say.
There are two sides to everything and this is just one side of the story from your friend. What is the story from the guy's side? That remains a mystery at least to the Mylot community!
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
Yes I know the whole story and even talked with the guy. But like what you said, there is still this piece that this guy won't say or admit. I thought so- he is hiding something from her. I like what you said, never jump into conclusions. My friend is not really the jealous type. This is the 2nd time, and it was clear to my friend that her boyfriend and her ex gf are not friends, it is more of the ex gf is coming back to her boyfriend even if she knows that my friend is the current. My friend did not stole the man, because she knew him being not committed and all. But again, this can just be another side of the story, it can be, that, the man just made up a story, introduce himself to my friend as someone who has no commitment with another girl. The ex girflriend, without knowing that her boyfriend is cheating on her has this impression that my friend is trying to steal his boyfriend from her. Again we don't know.
But what do you think about the man, if he is still together with the ex gf, why can't just he leave my friend. My friend made it very clear to her boyfriend that if he wants to leave her, that's fine. She can move on, it's not that my friend does not love her boyfriend, it is just that she don't want complicated relationships. She is the one who can understand and let go, just don't make a fool out of her. 
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
14 Jan 09
Thanks for clarifying.
Well on my own experience, my boyfriend and me were together, however, there was this one girl who kept on pestering him too, and well he kept it from me because he did not want me to get jealous/angry. Of course, his intentions was good but then it made me angrier because I thought that he had something to do with the girl as he was keeping it from me. Sometimes we keep things away from the ones we love to prevent them from getting hurt.
It does sound to be a very complicated situation. If your friend does not feel good about the entire situation, then trust her own instincts and just leave. There is no need to be with someone who even though your friend has made it clear that she does not mind as long as he comes clean with her, and yet does not come clean. Lives are complicated enough without us adding even more complications to it yeah!?
Well take care! And happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@michael_nonan (384)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
Yes, he is cheating the girl. if not, which i doubt it, if he really loves your friend then she should have done something to at least lay of the ex or make sure the ex won't bother them anymore. in the first place he's the man, he's the one responsible for the relationship right?
2 people like this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
Nice answer. He is the man, he is responsible for the relationship. But why he is acting like that? It is as if he is trying to protect the ex girlfriend, by hiding the message and her identity from my friend- who should know everything! I agree, he could have made sure that the ex won't bother them anymore.
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I agree.. he should have done something to make sure that his pathetic ex gf wouldn't bother them anymore.. for instance, changing his mobile phone number.. if he really wanted to make his relationship work with his present gf then he would do his very best to protect their relationship..
1 person likes this
@michael_nonan (384)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
usually that's the problem of every relationship right? PAST. would you have done the same thing? i know i won't. have you tried doing this before? if i were to do that, i'm just basically not ready for that new relationship and that i'm still looking for options, if you know what i mean.
1 person likes this
@kissie34 (2294)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I don't know how to answer your question since I didn't see the reaction of the guy when he was answering your friend question.. But I can say that he was lying based on what you stated above 
.. Same question in mind that if he don't text back to the messages of his ex then come home his ex knows that he was sick that time?? Of course, its impossible if his ex just knew it all alone unless his friends told that girl that he was sick.. Second thing is the first time that your friend confronted him, he didn't told her the truth unless he text back the number and asked "who is the one texting him" for him to know the answer later..
Its really hard to know if someone is cheating unless you really find something not relevant to the situation like for example when your fried asked him some questions if the guy don't answer it directly or he changed the topic, I can say that he was guilty.. Maybe, let your friend observe her boyfriend for a few days if he changed something different.. That's all I can advice.. 
.. Same question in mind that if he don't text back to the messages of his ex then come home his ex knows that he was sick that time?? Of course, its impossible if his ex just knew it all alone unless his friends told that girl that he was sick.. Second thing is the first time that your friend confronted him, he didn't told her the truth unless he text back the number and asked "who is the one texting him" for him to know the answer later..
Its really hard to know if someone is cheating unless you really find something not relevant to the situation like for example when your fried asked him some questions if the guy don't answer it directly or he changed the topic, I can say that he was guilty.. Maybe, let your friend observe her boyfriend for a few days if he changed something different.. That's all I can advice.. @my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
I agree. That's the part I don't understand. Why would he lie when asked from whom that message came from and then admit it later on? And also, the ex girlfriend's personal number was saved on her boyfriend's phone. Why would the ex needs to use another number? Is it because it is easier to deny when caught? I am just afraid that her boyfriend and his ex girlfriend has already an arrangement or agreement about how they will handle this kind of situation. I'm getting really upset.
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I guess your friend's boyfriend is cheating on her..how did his ex gf knew that he's sick? i'm pretty sure he's still in constant communication with his ex gf.. yay! you know what, the same thing happened to me few years back.. my hubby's pathetic ex gf was sending him sweet messages though it was very evident that i'm the present gf now.. i confronted my hubby about it but instead of avoiding that b****, they went island hopping together! GRRR!!! I got so angry and that incident made me decided to break up with him.. but hubby asked for forgiveness and promised not to do that horrible thing again.. and yes, he didn't break his promise.. we are living together for barely four years and i can really tell that he has changed a lot.. he doesn't go out with his friends, he likes to be with me all the time, he always makes me feel loved and cared about, he's working very hard for our family, he always makes me smile and i appreciate every little he does to make me happy..
1 person likes this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
You must be really lucky that your husband choose to change, he must have love you that much and realized that he can't live without you. You must also loved your husband that much that even if they go island hopping together (i just get pissed with girls like that!) you still accept him no matter what. This is the 2nd time that it happened, and this man that I am talking about, cannot be compared to what your husband, you have found a good man, and this man, never.
1 person likes this
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
It seems to me that you friend's boyfriend can't get over his exgirlfriend because of the way they communicate, it's like there's something going on between them. So to answer your question, yes he is hiding something from your friend but it could also mean nothing. Maybe the guy is just being courteous or civil about it that communicating with ex is not really of a big deal. His mistake was, if he's not hiding and guilty, he should have told her girlfriend the truth hen he was asked. Since this is the second time, then it must be really something. They should talk it over to fix this while it's still at the early stage. You know, as i keep saying in some of my discussions, the ex will always be our greatest rival.
2 people like this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
Her boyfriend is not over his ex girlfriend? Then why can't he leave my friend? Why does he still pursue and still wants to be beside my friend if at the back of his mind he still wants his ex girlfriend? My friend attempted to walk away many times, the man still comes back, and because of this "loving him that much" situation, my friend stayed in the relationship. My friend is willing to let go of the man, if the man is still in love with the ex girlfriend. Even if the real situation is that he didn't stole her boyfriend from that girl. I'm getting affected for my friend. What's wrong with those kind of people, a man who can't make his stand, and a woman who still clings to a man when it is crystal clear that he is already with someone else.
1 person likes this
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
13 Jan 09
Yes, he is cheating her.
I would not like to have a boyfriend who informs his ex-girlfriend about his physical conditions (sick, just puked, bought new jeans). That stinks. Maybe I would suspect him that he is actually still with his ex, but just taking a break in those relationships, by starting something up with me and just trying to get new feelings.
He probably likes to shout out "No, my ex just can not forget me.." but in the meantime he enjoys teasing her and giving wrong explanations to both girls, and is still enjoying both girls. He sends her some messages, emails or even meets her- HOW A HELL WILL SHE BE ABLE TO FORGET HIM THEN? He enjoys himself probably.
His current girl should phone back and ask his ex: what type of relationship is she having with his current. Or forbid his boy to ever contact his ex again. 
He sends her some messages, emails or even meets her- HOW A HELL WILL SHE BE ABLE TO FORGET HIM THEN? He enjoys himself probably.
His current girl should phone back and ask his ex: what type of relationship is she having with his current. Or forbid his boy to ever contact his ex again. 2 people like this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
God, I am getting so affected with my friend. I haven't tell everyone in here the whole story but you are all getting what is running on my mind. Your comment, when you say that it is possible that in the meantime he enjoys teasing her and giving wrong explanation to both girls and is still enjoying both girls, really makes sense. That man!!!! I think he really enjoys himself so much!
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
13 Jan 09
I would say he's not over his ex girlfriend. Seems if he were he would have told the new one from the beginning that she was still contacting him. I would be suspicious of his actions if I were her and I think I would watch what he is doing from here on out.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I guess there is something happening from behind the back of your friend. But its really hard to know it unless the guy would admit it. I hope the two would be able to gain their trust for each other since trust is a big issue in relationship when questions about the loyalty of one party to the other is in question.
1 person likes this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
I agree with you on Trust. When trust is damaged, I guess we can do nothing about it. For others, trust is easy to give, but once it's abuse of neglected, it's hard to gain.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
13 Jan 09
my_january,
Everyone of us will always have a past and in the case of your girlfriends SO he has an ex girlfriend whom he is still in touch with. God, only knows why he has not been so open with your friend about it. I am to assume that amidst of what you may understand and see from your friend - that demure, devoted, understanding and patient image - there are things called jealousy, suspicions, unreasonable reactions and paranoia. And, these are the very things that can turn one party to become non communicative. Try all you want, being reasonable and truthful sometimes just does not always produce an equally mutual understanding reaction and response.
Does it mean that your girlfriend's SO status is so insignificant in that relationship? So insignificant to the effect that she needs to wonder if she is really the SO? So much so that her SO must not have any casual relationship and contact with other girls, girl colleagues and ex girlfriends? Must a simple relationship, phone call, casual greeting, short messages be seen as or rather point to cheating and betrayal? Is she being over-reacting here?
I hope these posers will set the both of you thinking. It may not matter now but I can assure you that if she does not want to consider and reflect on her ways - this relationship will suffer and meet its inevitable conclusion.
Take care.
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
I will bring this up to her. Thank you for responding. I appreciate this a lot.
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
13 Jan 09
Just because he keeps in touch with his ex-GF doesn't mean that he is cheating on his current woman. I keep in touch with a couple of my ex-girlfriends, but I am not cheating on my wife. I do not always tell my wife what I talk about with them. One problem I have with this situation is that she messed with his phone to begin with. I don't mess with my wife's phone, and she doesn't mess with mine unless I ask her to. I also do not go into her purse for anything, even if she is standing there asking me to hand her something. I hand her the entire purse and let her get what she needs out of it.
I don't think this woman went over there to unplug his phone at all. I think she went over there being nosy. It does, in this case sound like he is hiding something from her though...
@Fortunata (1135)
• United States
13 Jan 09
Sounds to me like the ex is not so ex after all. She's going to have to do some more digging or just give him an ultimatum to hit the road or something. That's too bad.
@zandy985186 (434)
• China
14 Jan 09
Hi,the case what you had said seems to happen in the marriage frequently.I suggest that to find out the truth privately.
@ana31798 (41)
• United States
13 Jan 09
Well, from what you wrote it sounds like he is lieing. Maybe he isn't cheating but then why would he lie. He has to have been talking to her because how would she know that he has been sick. I can't say for sure that he is cheating but it does sound like he is lieing about stuff.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
14 Jan 09
Okay that to me is pretty low. I like you have to ask, if he's not talking to this chick, how does she know he's sick. It sounds like this guy is cheating on his girl and I think that the saying Love is blind is pretty true. Your friend obviously loves this guy and because of that she just can't see the signs. I would hate to say it but maybe she needs to do a little PI work and find out the truth once and for all. I wish you luck, it's not going to be easy, it never is but I am sure that she would rather know the truth rather than keep wondering.
@blackeyedpeas (445)
• India
13 Jan 09
Well, firstly he didnt tell her if he is in contact with his ex.
Secondly first he hide and then confess that it was his ex text.
thirdly, the message content
Anything doesnt seems right. Your friend has to figure it out. I think he is cheating. I had a similar case, but i know my bf and his ex are good friends and they will always remain good friends. I do feel jealous but that's how i trust my boyfriend. It is the most important thing. I hope your friend will do the best for herself.
Good luck
Blessings
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
13 Jan 09
A couple of messages do not necessarily mean he is cheating on her and sometimes some people do stay friends with exes,and sometimes exes do not like it when the other gets a new partner. I mean it is not the nicest thing and a lot of us do not like the idea of our partners being friends with someone they have had a relationship with. Mainly because it makes us feel insecure because they must have loved that person at some stage so it is not easy to swallow but your friend should not assume unless she has proof positive that there is more to it she should just keep an extra eye out on what goes on.
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
13 Jan 09
If your friends boyfriend loves her and knows this ex girlfriend situation bothers her he would change his number and do everything in his power to remedy this situation. When a man truly loves a woman she comes first before any one else in his life. He wants her to feel secure, protected and loved. The only way the exgirlfriend would know he was sick is if she heard it from mutual friends ( possible) or him and her talked. She after all said she missed him and it sounded to me like they are on friendlier terms than the boyfriend says.
@regal_aeros (2605)
• Singapore
13 Jan 09
well.. this is my guess. but i think if he claims that he didn't reply his ex but yet she knows he is sick... *shrugs* my guess is he is cheating.
And why can't he just tell her straight and make a clean break?
And if this is the 2nd time, well... it can't be a mistake or an accident can it?
@tumenoa (58)
• Uganda
13 Jan 09
I think you are over reacting. from the story, i dont feel like the guy is cheating on his gf with his ex. Even the message itself does not depict any kind of relationship between them. I think that your freind is in good hands and she should just trust her bf and even stand by him and resolve that ex who is tyring to distrust their relationship.
@leonag (33)
• Canada
13 Jan 09
Well you have to take a couple of factors into consideration here. First, how long was he with his ex. was there other things involved in their breaking up. do they have kids together. and second maybe he is just a creep. I was the ex once. My boyfriend and i were together for 3 years. we had a child together. I broke up with him for the stupidest reason. i still loved him and he still loved me. you cant just turn off feelings like a tap. in the time that we were apart he started dating another woman.( guys are pigs like that. they can still love someone but see other women on the side). I did everything possible to break them up. I would call at her house when he was there( i had to know where he was because of our son)and tell him i loved him at the end of our conversation, i would leave messages on her voicemail for him, again, saying I loved him. YOu see where I'm going with this. this went on for about 3 weeks. he stopped dating her. this was 8 years ago and we have been married for 2 years this july. Some women will do anything to get their guy back so tell your friend to watch out.
