Do you think men should pay for the expenses in the household?
By Lee Ka
@kaka135 (14931)
Malaysia
January 13, 2009 5:45am CST
I was quite surprise to know some of my friends still think that men should pay for the expenses in the household, men should buy the houses for their wives, even though the women are working.
I do agree if only the man is working, then he should pay for the expenses. But, what if both husband and wife are also working, shouldn't they bear the burden of the expenses? Why should men take all the responsibility of the household, as it's the home of both persons, and also the family.
Well, I am a working woman, and I am glad that I am contributing to our home together with my husband. I think this will help us to build a lovely home and also a happy family too, by contribution and dedication to the home.
18 people like this
73 responses
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 09
I share your sentiments because marriage ia about sharing. There are working women who expect men to pay for everything. The money that they earned is used for their personal entertainment with their friends and colleagues. They say it is their money and they have the right to spend it in whatever ways they like. So the man has to be completely responsible over the family while the woman can enjoy life.
In the long run it will create friction in the family. Is it surprising that the affected men become disillusioned with married life?
all the best,
rosdimy
rosdimy1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
Hi friend, thanks for your response.
Yeah, I do agree that it's about sharing. Why should we be so selfish to keep our own money to ourselves, but let our husbands to pay everything and suffer? That's why some men feel more suffering after married uhh? 
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
13 Jan 09
Hello my friend kaka135 Ji,
Well, I was working woman befor my marriage, after my marriage, I became house-wife and my hubby only looked after everything, in return I looked after family, we never ran short of funds. Our side, one takes care of inside the house mostly ladies and other spouse mostly Gents take care of outside the house. So damarkation is very clear. I fail to understand why husband should pay. I have my reservations to make any comments, as anyone may not like them. We Indians follow suiting to ourselves. may god bless you and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
Hi friend, thanks for your response.
I do agree if only the husband is working, of course he will have to pay for everything, and the wife is taking care of the house and family. But when both are working, then both should pay and both should take care of the house too. 
Hope you'll have a nice day too! ^_^
Hope you'll have a nice day too! ^_^1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
15 Jan 09
Hello my friend kakka135 Ji,
Well, when both are working, why not to have common funds at the house level and spend together, save together and live together, when you share all other things in life and remain together. In fact, after we married, as my hubby was earning and supporting his parents, I too was earning and supporting as possible for both of us. After marriage, we came to undersatnading taht, his and mine earnings stood Nil and we won't ask any thing about taht earning, which we maintained till date. There has never been any difference of opinion on this resolution. After that mu hubby only earned and I became purely a house wife, and all his earning became common. In fact, I do chew tabaco, where as he never has any such type of vices like smoking/drinking/gambling. So ourlife is very much peaceful. may god bless everyone here and have a great time.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Jan 09
I do not work, I'm a stay at home mom, which is my way of contributing to the household. I take care of the kids so we don't have to pay for child care. Even if I did work we couldn't afford the child care because I have 5 kids.
But when I did work (and when I go back to work in the future) my money has always gone towards the household. All of our money, whether it's his, or mine, is always considered "OURS". We decide how we want it spent. If the money I earn needs to be spent on bills, that's where it will go. If his money alone can cover the bills, then my money will go towards fun outings for the whole family, or fast food, or some other things we need like clothing or school supplies for the kids or whatever else.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
Hi there, thanks for your response.
Yeah, actually I like the money to be OURS, but not just his or mine. Once we decided to be together, I like to use the term our, we, as we are not together, everything belongs to us, but not only myself, as the family is ours. 
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
in this day and time if both husband and wife are working i think it would be best that they help each other with the household bills and expenses. that would be a burden to the husband if he pays for everything. happy mylotting!!!
1 person likes this
@daylstone (126)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
it's because of the culture I think... there was a time before when the men are the only ones working and the women stayed home to take care of the kids and the house... But since it has been a fad that both are working then the women should bear the burden in paying the stuff around the house also...
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
Hi there, thanks for your response.
Yeah, I understand the earlier generation, most men are working and the women are staying at home taking care of the family. But nowadays, many women are also working, but still there are women who think men should bear all the burden.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
13 Jan 09
My husband and I combine all of our money. I believe it should be that way if both people are working and if both can be trusted with the money. If my husband were one that can't be trusted I would split the expenses with him and save the rest of my money. The way it goes in our home he doesn't even know how much the bills are and his checks are deposited into our account each week. He doesn't deal with the household expenses or income. He asks me for money when he needs it and the rest pays the bills.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jan 09
hello kaka...primarily its really the husband ...i mean a breadwinner and at the same time the head of the family and its his primary concern too...the financial thing ..however if the wife has work then much better so that she can help with the finances at least...in our household when im still working full time my hubby give me all his money and ask for an allowance only even though i have my own money..my role is to make a budget for everything and make it enough for us for the whole month and if their an extra then it will considered as our savings...
@gacktkaizen (32)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
well, i'm still young and single, but for me, well, men should pay for the expenses in the household, but depending upon the agreement between the husband and wife, hehehehe
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I don't mind spending for the household. What I do mind is to waste money. I think there should be a reasonable budget. Cheers!!
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
13 Jan 09
I do not work, my hubby is the wage earner in our house but any money I do get goes into the joint account to help towards the running expenses of life. When I am able to get a job once my children are all settled in school then any money I earn will be ours not just mine we will do everything together. I do not think that it should just be left to the man if the woman is also working.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
14 Jan 09
Hi there, thanks for your response.
Yeah, I always think that's the way we should do. But of course, different people always have different opinions. I was quite surprise when my friend told me I shouldn't pay for the house, as the house should be bought by men, but it needs to be under both names. 
@xdaisyx (24)
• Turkey
13 Jan 09
your subject which you have started to discuss is my subject I have been thinking for along time:)
i have found a solution to this problem.in my opinion,its not fair only husbands pay for the expencies if the wifes work.as a solution i say that the couple make a common budget for their house expences.when they get their sallary they can put some of it to their common budget and everybody can save some money for eachselves.in the light of this kind of way,there wont be any problem.arent I right??...
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 09
Hi there, thanks for your response.
It's good that you have found the solution to your question.
At first, my husband and I have our own savings, but it's really difficult to split our expenses. We end up to share all our income and all the expenses, and of course our savings too. I find it more comfortable to do it this way.
@phatiasid (57)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
hi there.
what good discussion, atleast your an open minded wife and i guess your having a wonderful relationship with your family.
i like your mentality and beliefs in handling family matters.
i actually agree with the things you said in your discussions and i guess ill take the inputs that you shared to all the mylotters.
it is just fair enough that partners should both work or contribute for the betterness of the relationship or the family itself..
God Bless to you and to your family,
1 person likes this
@aristrocrat195 (282)
• India
13 Jan 09
ya only men should pay for it for the household expenses because by men only the house is depend upon and the men when he is get married then his responsibilities increase more and he should take car of his home
1 person likes this
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
13 Jan 09
I feel that if the woman is working to she should help out with expenses. I don't understand why someone that works and lives with someone else thinks that it should be a free ride. Married or not. Now if one of them doesn't work and the other does then of course it is up to the one that does work to provide for them.
Even thou I don't work outside the home, what I do make on-line and on a few other things goes toward our home. After all we are a couple and it is our home and our family.
1 person likes this
@jimssaftytips (507)
•
13 Jan 09
I think if women want to help pay for some of the expenses in the house its their right to do so cuz now days its gonna take both to make it since the economy is so bad
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
13 Jan 09
I think if the man is working then he should be called up on to foot the bill but beyond that I think it should be fifty fifty or at least shared .Both parties should get together and decide if how the bills should be shared .It could be a situation in which the man pays for some of the bills while the woman pays for others.I dont believe though that the mand is obligated to pay all the bill becasue of a traditional order or decree.
1 person likes this
@thanxiang (126)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I like your idea.As for me,i dont have work coz i am in the house only so it is my hubby who paid all our expenses in the household.As a husband,it is his responsibility to make a living for the family coz that's what God designed.but if a woman is working,then i guess the wife can help with all the expenses.it is about helping each other coz you are one already.
@harcab2000 (6)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
For me, it should be both. I think the relationships between two couples will be much better if each one will contribute.
Husband and Wife should have equal rights.
1 person likes this
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
21 Apr 11
Women are equally empowered as well. They also earn a living. In our household, we consolidate our earnings and pay all our expenses from it. I think men should not only pay for household expenses. I think it should be a conjugal effort for both husband and wife.
