Found this list...It cracked me up
By lvaldean
@lvaldean (1612)
United States
January 14, 2009 11:55pm CST
There are so many discussions regarding the 'truth' of the Bible. The righteousness of Christians. The loving nature of the Christian interpretation of God.
This list just struck my funny bone. I am not trying to start a fight, only share the other side (this is why I didn't put it in religion). Really though, when you read the list, there is a certain valid point to some of the hypocrisy, isn't there?
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
5 people like this
12 responses
@redyellowblackdog (10629)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Your list is not only funny, but valid concerning some Christians on some of the points. However, given my large number of Christian friends (I believe in God, but not Christ) here on myLot and elsewhere, I will only elaborate on the one point I see how to comment on in a positive way.
That business of .01% of prayers being answered is apparently true. This is because most do not pray in the manner Christianity teaches. When praying, one needs to not pray for harm to others, to not pray in a selfish manner, and to not expect God to change his mind without giving God some pretty good reasons he may not have considered. Ah... folks, God usually has thought of everything!
In short, mean & brutish prayers are not effective, selfish prayer does not work, and prayers for miracles are seldom answered because otherwise miracles would be commonplace and not miracles at all.
Prayers for a more compassionate heart, understanding, patientence, disicipline, safety of others, personal strength, and just in general everything positive that would make you a better person or the world a better place, are often answered, YES.
The above is what I was taught in Christian Sunday School as a child, but guess what? None of these guidelines concerning prayer require a belief in Christ. They work for everyone who believes in God.
4 people like this
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
15 Jan 09
LOL That is just too funny. It's always amazing to me how people can be so narrow in their thinking about other peoples modes of thinking.
3 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Yes and this just goes to show how narrowminded some are toward Christians to believe this applies to us all.
2 people like this
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
15 Jan 09
I never care what people think. I respect everyone's right to their beliefs as long as they don't try to impose them on me.
1 person likes this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
15 Jan 09
I'm glad you got a good laugh. Problem is these are generalizations that just do not apply to all Christians or even most.
I know you don't wish to fight; nor do I, but I found your post insulting. I am sure some others do to.
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
15 Jan 09
You'll have to forgive me. I hadn't read your replies to people. Then got distracted and forgot to post that I saw that.
1 person likes this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Of course they are generalizations. They are intended to be. Similar to any other form of "ism" they can be insulting. I think that is why I find them terribly funny. Frankly I see many people I know in them. I see many public figures in them. I see may zealots in them, many evangelists in them.
Does this mean that I see all Christians in this light? Of course not. Frankly I think 97% of Christians in this world have good sense, good intentions, and are overall good people. It is those 3%'rs that ruin it for everyone else.
I intentionally left off the "You might be a Fanatic" from the Heading to see the reaction.
I intentionally did not preface my comments with anything other than a few comments about why I didn't put this in the Religion "interest". If you had been privy to some of the contentious discussions around religion, faith, and even faith based politics....well you would understand my purpose.
I have said over and over again - I don't believe this fits all. But those it does fit will never see themselves in it.
Sorry that you were insulted by the way.
1 person likes this
@iriscot (1289)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Very interesting... But do we dare not believe in God? What about those who believe in reincarnation?
On the light side:
Children's letters to God
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones you have now? -- Jane
Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -- Lucy
Dear God,
Who draws the lines around the countries? -- Nan
@iriscot (1289)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Thanks, I added those to my list keep em' coming. Here are two more:
Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -- Anita
Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -- Norma
2 people like this
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
15 Jan 09
RIGHT ON!!! 
great list...and so true.
i'm shutting down for the night but i'll check back tomorrow to see if you reeled any "bible thumpers" in telling you about how you're going spend your eternity.
oh oh......i think i hear them coming. 
great list...and so true.
i'm shutting down for the night but i'll check back tomorrow to see if you reeled any "bible thumpers" in telling you about how you're going spend your eternity.
oh oh......i think i hear them coming. 2 people like this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
15 Jan 09
I love that list, I suppose you could have put a twelve line disclaimer on there outlining which particular type of Christian you are referring to but I think most of us figured it out on our own.
A friend of mine summed up the attitude of this type perfectly one day when we got into a conversation that revealed she didn't believe in dinosaurs. When asked about fossils and DNA and all that other evidence she simply said "I don't like to think about it". There ya go.
2 people like this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I have a few friends like that, course I am originally from the Bible Belt (South Texas).
I always wondered how some people could be brilliant in so many areas of their lives but then walk around with blinders on. Finally, well someone just summed it up for me....
You got to have faith, woohoo, you got to have faith.
1 person likes this
@tarachand (3895)
• India
1 Aug 09
Religion is one of the most brilliant of human ideas and achievements, control of others with the intangible!
The basic intention of each religion is peace, law and order for its adherents at the price of acceptance of certain conditions. The intention could have been either to supplement the strongest person's authority - generally the ruler as well to control him/her when required, but it was basically to bend the junta to do the bidding of a chosen few who had the might to enforce the fact that they were right, offer protection at the cost of some of the individual's freedoms.
Most religions, even the youngest and the least mature ones among the major religions -Islam and Christianity, were conceived when a lot of what makes sense today due to advancements in science and technology, was unexplained and hence attributed to a higher power. A lot of rituals were built around the unexplained to make the religion palatable and accepted
Times were tough, and might was the only right, human life, especially that of the other person who faced the point of the sword or spear was cheap and had little or no value.
Human gullibility was exploited to the maximum by the rulers and their cohorts and often controllers, the priests.
Over millennium, humans having their own agenda have exploited others and hence most have gained infamy with non-adherents of those religions.
Every religion has many loopholes, many inconsistencies, and it not just that the Bible alone is full of many absurdities- every book of a major religion is full of such things - be it the books of the Hindus , or the Jews, or the Muslim.
No offense intended, just sharing my thinking, and if I seem to have gone off at a tangent to some extent, well, there is a lot more that could be said on this particular matter................
@meeandnotyou (2548)
• United States
16 Jan 09
First of all GREAT LIST!
I do not ascribe to any set of beliefs but myown and as such I do not have all of the shallow minded crap clouding my judgment and thoughts. One of the beliefs that I have that I consider my GREATEST is the belief in an OPEN MIND!!!
I think that if more people were able to get past all of the "Window Dressings" (dogma and creed) there would be so much peace in this world as almost all religions are based on LOVE for others as yourself.
Well I have said enough for now .
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!
1 person likes this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
15 Jan 09
Ah yes, I know many who at least one of these apply to. I'm probably one and just can't see it in myself. It is amusing, but should make us take a closer look at why we believe what we believe.
1 person likes this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
16 Jan 09
It is not my intention to ask why, only to point out some of our oddities or hypocrisy when it comes to Religion. Not faith, not spirituality...but religion.
I separate these by the way. I know many people who profess Christianity, that is a belief in the Risen Christ, who do not adhere to a denomination; that is a man made religious affiliation or church. I buy that a person can have a personal epiphany and form a personal relationship with God. In fact I believe that is the basis of spirit and soul.
I think religion is what f's it all up for most of us.
@zandy985186 (434)
• China
16 Jan 09
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1 person likes this
@megsgem (123)
• United States
15 Jan 09
My parents were not religious but I sought it out and read the bible many times...mainly the study versions. In college I studied the bible and again as an adult have read many things about God and other Gods as well. i am not sure if the Bible is just a fairy tail but i believe that science is closer to the truth then a book of stories written a long time ago. Your list is so true and I know Hitler was a christian and look what he did! Conversations with God by walsh made the most sense to me until he said Bush (W)... would be remembered a hero....that floored me.....I like the idea of us all having a piece of god within us....and that we are here to experience life...the good the bad and the grey too....I like to practice the golden rule and am interested in others belifs and respect them.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I was told non-Christians could not have either morals or ethics. I thought that was interesting. Someone else on these boards tells a similar story about their father.
Yet many non-Christians live very moral and very ethical lives.
Then there is a very interesting observation that must be made, the Ten Commandments, well they were not given to Christians; they were originally given to Moses who had never heard of either Christ or Christianity.
The Golden Rule, yep and another observation is that this rule exists in some form in nearly every single society.
@daylstone (126)
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
... ten more reasons to believe that there is no god..
2 people like this
