Housewife should stay at home all day?
By mermaidivy
@mermaidivy (15395)
United States
January 15, 2009 8:52am CST
What do you do at home?
I'm not working, I cannot drive, what i can ONLY do everyday is staying home when my husband is at work. I told my husband it is super super boring staying at home every single days for so many hours without being able to go anywhere...well, back yard or walk my dog might count as "going out" to him :-\... He doesn't understand. Everytime when I tell him I don't want to stay at home every single days, he thinks i don't like "staying" home which is not true. The problem is I cannot go anywhere without driving around here which sucks cause I haven't got the driving liscense yet and he doesnt like the idea of me working... I usually cook, do house stuff, play with my pet, but, I don't think people like to do it every single day even you like it very much. I do feel like i'm in the jail, I cannot sit at home, look at the wall all day long every single day which is driving me crazy... My husband said"What's wrong with staying home everyday?" Well, can you?
5 people like this
20 responses
@beachbums2 (4)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Hi! Don't know how much it is but you may want to look into taking courses from a school that offers online courses. Think about what you are really interested in and go from there. What about your neighbors? Do you have any other housewives in the neighborhood you live in maybe you could get together with them. I was a stay at home mom for a long time and I loved it, but my kids are older now and it does get kinda boring without them to do stuff for.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jan 09
They're all old timers around where I live. I do talk to some neighbours when I walk my dog. So far I can onyl do stuff for my husband and my dog because we don't have kids yet so there is not a lot to do.
1 person likes this
@teka44 (3420)
• Brazil
15 Jan 09
Hi mermaidivy. You are right and I agree with you. I can't stay at home every single day so why someone did? What I can suggest you is go out to learn something you like and you can go by public transport. It will give you the opportunity to meet others persons, to talk with and learn something nice that you enjoy and, perhaps, earn some money with this. I think you must try something soon because if you stay home all the day every day you will be crazy very fast.
Good luck my dear and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jan 09
I cannot go anywhere without drving around here :-(
1 person likes this
@maxsee212 (799)
• United States
15 Jan 09
you are like in a prison no doubt of that. here's the solution, get your driver's license, find somewhere to go to because when you get your license, you would want to go somewhere. get to know some friends in your area so that you can visit them whenever you are bored staying at home. tell your husband that you really want to do something else other than staying in your house.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jan 09
The other problem is because of the winter, I am a big beach, outdoor person. Windy and snowy winter stinks, otherwise, i could go swimming everyday which i really love to do!
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
15 Jan 09
[i]Hi mermaid,
It's very hard for me to do that since I used to work. That is really my life last year but I am trying to find job this time.
I cannot imagine another 365 days with just staying in the house, even if I will work online or find some hobby to do, I will still get bored!
How about doing volunteer jobs in your area where your hubby can just drop you off?[/i]
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jan 09
We just talked about it last night but i don't want to have him drive me to some places during the week cause he has a lot to do at work...
1 person likes this
@elsoft12 (1821)
• India
15 Jan 09
Well..You can develop some hobby.And try to make career out of it.With Internet being a great platform for oppurtunities,I think its possible to work out a way of getting away your boredom.
Make a note of what interests you,and utilise the time you have to learn more about it and work on the subject or technology or design and just try to make out something useful.
Looking at it positively,you have a lot of time for you,you only need to decide and implement your thoughts and energies to make a good use of the time.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
15 Jan 09
I always try to do something to be occupied but 10 hours everyday is more than enough :-(
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
15 Jan 09
No, i don't think so.. why don't you go out and have time for yourself? I mean, go to a salon or spa and pamper yourself.. you can ask a family member or a close friend to go with you.. you deserve a break! =)
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
26 Jan 09
mermaid I now too that staying home and with little to do besides house work and keeping a home can be very boring or at least it doesn't take up very much of the day. You wrote in some of your comments that most of your neighbors are more on the elderly side. Why not try to get acquainted with them and find out if they can teach you something. Like maybe crocheting or knitting or even bread baking. You might be surprised at what you could learn and how something like that can make their day too.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Men can, they are lazier. Try meeting neighbors. Are there any businesses close by? Find a hobby. garden. Do you have kids? Why not get your license? You have internet right? You can right articles or blog. But definitely meet other people in your neighborhood who stay home.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Unfortunately, my neighboors are all old people and they won't go for a walk with dogs or anything in the winter i think... i might see some dog people if i'm lucky somtimes :-\
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
15 Jan 09
You said that your husband doesn't like the idea of you working. Could you do something in your home? Have people come to you, rather than the other way around, since you don't drive? What about child care? There are so many working parents that need a good, safe, reliable place for their child every day. Can you babysit? Do you have any other skill or talent that would be useful to others? Can you tutor students? Can you teach something? Do you play an instrument or could you give lessons? Sometimes, we fail to see our own value in the world :) If you can think of something you're good at, you could help both yourself and others at the same time. I'd think that could be very satisfying for you. I wish you much luck.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
15 Jan 09
I could not stand being at home all the time. I can understand you being bored. It doesn't take a long time to clean a house and once it is done generally you just go back and straighten up. You should try again to talk to your husband. Let him know that it is not the staying home that bothers you but not being able to get out. Try to get him to understand. How long have you all been married?
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Oh exactly! I have been trying to talk about this with him couple times, but he thinks women should "stay" at home which I understand he's trying to protect me from the society by being the mere wife. But keeping me at home is driving me crazy...
We have been married for a month, we're happy together, I really hope we will figure it out as soon as possible so nothing bothers us.
1 person likes this
@rebekah_ash (169)
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
I hope you got internet at home so you can email friends and can work online.... You need recreation too... Ask your husband to take you on a date weekly... it's their responsibility...
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Work online like what? I knopw some housewives do but I always wonder that is scam.
My husband is not a romantic person, he doesn't take me on a date that much...
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
I do understand how you feel, coz that's what I feel for so long... I have 2 kids, but most of the times, they are in school. and most of the time, I really do miss going out. I can't even go to my mom's home coz it's so far, and I could only do that during vacation days of my kids coz I can't leave them and they also want to go with me.
Even if we had some appliances and gadgets at home, it's still not enough to stay here at home. I do always think that I really miss my life.
It's really necessary for a person especially stay at home wife to sometimes go out and have fun...
If you know what you wanted for yourself you must not supress it coz that would be a start of the depression of most stay home wives.
And if your husband doesn't like the idea of you working, you really have to ask yourself if that is what you really wanted. If yes, then you need to think of something else to do, but if not, you should think otherwise, and you both need to discuss about it.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I do feel very very upset, very depressed. The more time I have during the day, the more i think about my situation...
@cheryltippett (231)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Have you checked to see if there are any other stay at home wives in your neighborhood? There might be someone in your neighborhood saying the same thing as you tonight . If you found some other stay at home wives or moms in your neighborhood you might be able to find some things to do together during the day . I don't mean to get personal and please don't let this offend you because That is definitely not my intention: but it seems that your husband might be a little controlling . Why is it that you do not have your drivers license ? Is he against you getting a drivers license ? I hope I didn't make you mad but sometimes it takes eyes and ears on the outside to see the problems on the inside......
Cheryl
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I would like to know somebody so at least I have somebody to talk to but... I don't see people will be willing to go out for a walk in the winter...
@FDBrister (115)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I'm a housewife, but I also wear many other hats. I also work from home, I volunteer, and I take care of my baby. That being said, I do spend a lot of time at home, but my husband does not EXPECT me to.
After spending too much time home, the walls begin to close in on me, so I understand how you feel. Taking a walk, going to the grocery store, even going to the local library can be welcome outings. Find something to do with your time OUTSIDE the house, you won't feel so imprisoned.
As for your husband not understanding, have him try it. The next time he has a vacation, have him spend a week at home, then he'll understand perfectly.
What's wrong with staying home everyday? Humans are social beings and have to have social interactions to be healthy. It's a part of who we are. When people become loners and complete homebodies, their mental health begins to break down. Being home alone all the time (even with pets) can literally drive a person crazy.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Exactly, if you don't mind, i would copy "Humans are social beings and have to have social interactions to be healthy. It's a part of who we are. When people become loners and complete homebodies, their mental health begins to break down. Being home alone all the time (even with pets) can literally drive a person crazy." to my husband, it's what I meant, I was wondering how to say to make it sounds I want to meet new people which's not true. Thank you so much!
@FDBrister (115)
• United States
16 Jan 09
It's my pleasure. I know what it's like first-hand. Don't let it drive you too buggy. I hope everything works out for you.
God Bless!
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
16 Jan 09
Of course not. I think a housewife should have her own lifestyle. You can go out and relax yourself. There is nothing wrong with it. If I am a housewife, I will do many things. Such as taking some courses, playing computer, painting, shopping etc. Life will be so interesting. You have to find your own way.
I love China
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I stay at home every day and do just fine being here. Sometimes I don't go anywhere for a week or more at a time. I am able to drive, but don't see the point of wasting gas if I don't have some place I need to be. I read, I watch TV, play with my pets, do crafts, do laundry or housework or baking. I can always find ways of entertaining myself. As for your situation I guess I don't see why you seem to blame your husband for this? If you can't drive and want to go somewhere then you should get your driver's license.
As for can I stay home all day? - sure I can, I do it every day now.
@michiganrawfood (90)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Well, I personally love to stay at home. It's my choice though. I can't imagine being forced to stay. But it's not like your husband is telling you aren't allowed to, right? I mean, he didn't say you can't go anywhere-you just don't have a way to leave? I guess you should make the best of the situation until you have a license and are able to go out. Things are not always greener on the other side. I worked in the corporate world and dreamed of being at home. Now that I work at home, some days I wish I was back at work! Soo, it just depends on how you deal with the situation you have! If you can't drive, how about finding some people to come pick you up once in awhile? They drive, and you pay for the coffee or tea? Join a club or group with people who live near you. You should be allowed to go out once in awhile!
@zandy985186 (434)
• China
16 Jan 09
Hi,friend.I think that maybe you could enrich your daily life.Fox example,you may find a parttime job online ,just like write something in my lot or manage a netshop.Or learn something what you are interest in.Sometimes you could visit your friends or go out to make friend with peoples.I think that if you must simultaneously going out to work and do the housework,might be too laborious.
@saqib0001 (25)
• Pakistan
16 Jan 09
many people will say they'd rather face the challenges of a dual-career marriage than the challenge of a stay-at-home-spouse. Fine. Just know that statistics are not in your favor and i believe that the a woman being the primary caretaker of both family and marriage is complete BS, but on the other hand i don't see many marriages working any other way, even with two powerhouse careers.
@kellyliu6128 (19)
• China
16 Jan 09
Frankly speaking, I wouldn't like to be a housewife at home. It's too dull for me. I am the person who wants to have my own career because work offers me full life and I gain achievability from it as well. Going out for work will make me free from lonely, I can talk with my friends and share my emotions. Also I get knowledge of new matters when I put myself in public society. I like my work and enjoy it.
I understand the thought of your husband. He is very care about you and hope you can enjoy a comfortable life instead of being involved in busy routine work. However, being away from group people for long time will probably make you loose pace with the updated world, so you can try to persuade your husband and say goodbye to your "jail" life.
