If the relationship wasn't going anywhere

no way would i try to have a child by this person just to keep this person around.bring that child into that craziness.the relationship will not get better with a child only worse.

have you tried everything to make him love you? If yes, and it didn't work.... you already know the answer... the hardest part is doing the first step... Love yourself and be fair to yourself too...

No...having a child in an already messy situation does not save the relationship...it just strains it more. It's not fair to that child either because what ends up happening is the couple split up anyway and now instead of it just involving them, it involves the child that will not understand why mommy and daddy are not together anymore. it's selfish to try and bring a child into the world because you think it will help your relationship. God bless

No this would be horrible. Why would you want to raise i child with someone that you do not like. Ha if you dont like them now just wait until she gets pregnant. This would be a very stupid idea. The child should have to go through that either. Its not fair for either person and the child they are going to have.

NO. Well I find it hard to think about it because I guess I just couldn't imagine myself in the same situation. I can't think of a relationship where I would stick around with someone who clearly doesn't want me around. I don't want to end up like some of the people I know - they claim to be happy but I doubt if they even know what happiness means. I think whoever person actually does something as stupid as you described is mental. He/she couldn't re-focus her priorities because obviously he/she doesn't care if the child turns up with unloving parents. Thanks for the response on my discussion!

Wow Trisha thats a good question. Well I would have to say no way. I just couldn't picture putting a kid in that situation cause all the kids gonna hear is fighing between the both of the parents. I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship that the other person didn't care for me or the other way around it's not worth the stress that goes with it.

H[i]i trisha, I will not because I know it will not be a happy and healthy environment for the kids and for me as well... I will just set free the person if that makes him happy! I don't like to force myself to someone who doesn't love me anymore! Life is too short to deprive ourselves to be [/i]happy!

No, I wouldn't because it would just complicate things. Beside, you are not even sure that by having a child, you could get hold of that person. Also, in the end, you'll just blame each other for not letting go.

Not a chance if anything its a sure fire way to make that split happen sooner, sleepless nights with a colicky screaming baby requires (where possible) parents who are happy together and able to support one another over those hard times not parents who are likely to take the slightest stressful situation and turn it into an arguement its not healthy for anyone and definatley not healthy for a child id hate to imagine a child purposefully brought into all that stress and tension!

My fiance and i were about to literally break it off when i became pregnant. I was so upset because i was on birth control. It was unexpected. At first i thought just leave him out of it, but being a young unexpectantly pregnant woman i was scared to go on alone. Having a baby did save our relationship but it wasn't planned.

I couldn't accept this crazy idea. A child should live in a happy family instead of a unhappy family. The child is the tie between the parents, but a child is not the pawn to hold the person who don't love you back. It's unfair and horrible.

No. If they're not in love with you, but they stay anyway, you've just trapped yourself in a loveless relationship. Plus you're stuck with a kid who is going to realize his parents don't love each other. And the child will probably come to realize one of his parents resents him, for being the reason they're trapped. That's a horrid thing to do to a kid. Or you just had a kid, and now you don't have a partner to help. They didn't want the kid, so they've left. Now you have to raise a child, without help. It's really hard doing that. And the child will probably be resented, even though none of it was his fault. But he'll cause hardships, and that's tough to deal with. You can't make someone love you. It's not possible. You might wind up keeping them, but at what price? Could you love someone who trapped you? Could you even respect them? There's my hypothetical answer to the question.

Absolutely positively not! That is just complicating a bad situation even further, and using a child as the pawn in a silly game. It's basically entrapment, which isn't fair at all. If a person doesn't love me back, it's time to move on. There are so many fish in the sea, and if that person cannot love me for who I am, he is not worth my time. A baby can and would make things much worse. Then I'd be alone AND have a baby to take care of.

no i wouldn't. no matter how much i may love someone, if she's not in love with me at all i doubt i could even get along with her. i'd be probably sacrificing everything just to be with her, and in return i would get little to nothing. i find it hard to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. it's better off to break up than to bring another life into a difficult situation.

Hello There! If the relationship is not going anywhere no matter how hard I try to make it work with him, I would definitely not use a child or to have a child just to make him stay with us. For me, if your partner wants to go then he will still leave even if you two have a child or a kid. It would be unfair for my kid to grow up without a father... If I am going to make a baby or have a baby, I want to have it because my partner wants it... not because of making it a reason for my partner to stay. Thank you for the discussion. Happy Mylotting and Have a nice day! Cheers!

There is no situation of love that would make me have a child. I don´t think this is the best way to get things going better for me it´s the contrary. Having a baby the moment you didn´t love that person anymore you would still have a kind of relationship with them for a lifetime.

Hello trisha_nava82! I don't think I have to stay with that person how much more having a child with him. If I let him stay me and he doesn't love me anymore, both of us will suffer. He will suffer because he is still in a relationship where he is not happy anymore and I will suffer too because I forced myself to him and that I will be hurt because for sure he will ignore me everyday. Like you, I am glad it won't happen because I am 100% that my husband love me and I am 100% that I love him too.

Yes maybe, once you loved a person of course you want a child with him. If the case is that the child was already there while you're in the verge of breaking up though not nice to hear that you're using the child, but the child can be a reason for making up. If the guy doesn't love you anymore no matter how many children you have there, he'll leave you. If a relationship was reconciled because of the child so,fine.

hi trisha, If opposite person doesn't love you and u r having children with that person is very bad situation. Second thing i would to tell is that we should give sometime to the relation, may opposite person started to love you but it depends on opposite person.if that person is in love with someone that its not possible. In my story same things happened, we gave sometime to our relation,now we are happy couple with cute children.

what would be the point in having the child of a guy with whom there are no feelings left?? if a guy has no feelings for you, then even having a kid with him is not going to create those feelings for you.. he might just stay with you but have an affair with someone else.. thats the sad part... its easier for guys..