Would you get upset With Your Spouse for this?

bringing up children doesn't have to do with the world that we live in now that really depends on the parents on how they bring up their children so it will be yours and your husbands' responsibility what kind of individuals your kids will be. I think you and your husband should sit and talk about this so that you can get his thoughts on this and change his mind on having kids on this day and age. I don't have my own kids yet but I know that kids will make you home a happy one. hope he change his mind!!! Good luck and I wish you the best!!!

When you love someone, you made him part of your life. From the start it is the two of you. Only few wives understand this idea; we could be happy without a kid. For now your husband is still not enjoying the idea of being a father and if you love him you have to respect his thoughts. It will come naturally to him. About you and wanting to have a baby, that will make you paranoid. Divert your attention to something other than about having kids and the baby. You can have new hobbies and you can open your heart to accept that your husband is not ready yet. Or either you sulk in a corner and resent how your husband are...this could be a poison in your marriage and will end up tragic. You cannot change anyone's point of you but you can change yours. So just let go of the idea of having a baby it will come in time and cross the bridge when you get there. Meanwhile if you're really into it, you can have him around surrounded with kids...you go to a family park..you socialize friends with kids and happy fathers... but you should control yourself..coz you might end up pressuring him.

[i]Hi neededhope, According to some people, it is hard to wait to become stable before having a kids since that is lifetime, we always define stability in a different way! So, some will just go on, having kids and for all they know, they were able to handle it! In my case, I am in my 30's and have no kids but this is my choice! I love to have but I have other priorities too! If ever you are both working, then why not having even one? I know you can handle that, just live within your budget! But, if your hubby is not yet ready, talk to him....and maybe you will also need to ask him when is the right time for him? Encourage him to start saving and maybe you need to lessen your other expenses or whatever remedies you can think about![/i]

I somewhat understand your position. My sister-in-law is 4 years older and has two adorable girls. By the time she was my age, she already had her eldest daughter. So, it is somewhat tempting to have them. Though I know that my fiance and I are not ready to have children and it's not the best time to have them, although we talk about it and such. You should talk with your husband, explain to him how you feel, and see what he has to say. It's difficult to judge something if you don't know what your husband thinks, and how he feels about it. Talk about it, and work through it.

Hello neededhope! I can somehow relate to you. I just recently got married and we both agreed that we won't have children yet. We planned to have it after 5 years because we want to be stable first before having children. If ever it will happen to me that we can't bear any children, maybe I have to accept it and continue to live with him, it's not in our hands anymore, it's in God's hand.

I have realized your feeling. Just tell your husband to have kids again if he loves you.

I think you should tell him how you feel that you want to have a child or children and that you understand the way the world is, but its not going to get any better while your getting older and waiting. You want to have a baby and do the best possible job at being parents as you can and hope and pray that the children of the future have a future and you will together be great parents. . OR.. you could just get pregnant. lol.

This is a hard one. The thing is you guys talked and agreed on kids "later in life". Well it is getting later in life and face it your body and heart is telling you now is the time. The world isn't going to change but you can still raise kids this day and age. I guess the best thing is to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. How important it is to YOU. I understand his feelings as it is a big step and responsibility but he has to realize that you went into this thinking that you were going to have a baby in a few years. Like I said talk to him. Good luck!

Sometimes having children changes the balance of the universe for the better and it is certainly a good thing when children arrive. I think you should go for having children now while they can still enjoy you. Waiting for when you're stable and, older, would make you less energetic for parenting.Cheers!!

I totally understand your husbands point and its smart if you ask me. I understand your side as well because man when your body is ready for creation its like thats allll you think about. I almost had a third because of that until I began birth control and that wanting feeling went away, phew. I do still want a third child but I myself was even thinking, man, is this really the right thing to do now. I have my step-mom and I have experienced what its like to grow up with nothing, no luxuries what so ever and I just do not want that for my children. I cant say that is where this economy is going but do we know, we dont. Then I find myself reading Angelas Ashes and my god, how in the world did they survive eating like they did. Another thing is if you have children will you be comfortable not being able to get them the things you want due to expenses? I mean I have been there and its soo hard when at one time you were buying your children brand new toys and all the clothes that they wanted to go to needing clothes for them for months on end and the feeling of not even being able to buy a toy, its a hard feeling. I have known woman who this has even led to resentment because they had this picture in their head of how it was going to be and then when things didnt go as planned they just became so angry. Heck, maybe your man has an ideal for how he wants to bring up a family and is only thinking ahead and thats great. I have two kids but my ex has been promising us a house for years and years and luckily with the market a window has opened but Im not getting my hopes up for it.

Well it actually sounds like he's a little scared to have children. It could be a bit how he grew up or how he was treated, I understand that the world is bad right now but always count on a kid to cheer you up :D Just have a talk with him give him. He just needs a little confidence.

I'd definately be upset too. I can understand both sides of the situation though. I think that he prbably does want kids, he is just afraid of how much it would change your lives. With the economy in such turmoil right now, he is probably also afraid of having a baby and then not being able to take care of the little one as needed. You both have valid points to this. You don't feel you should continue to wait, because it has been this long already and you still are not as stable as you would like to be. Not to mention, you see others around you having babies and that just adds to the emptiness you feel. He is trying to look at the dinancila aspect of it all and wants to be able to know that the money will be there that is needed to care for a baby. I doubt you will be able to change his mind right now, at least not without him becoming very upset about the whole thing. I think that I would wait a little longer to see what happens with the economy. It's a shame that money has such an impact on choices like this, but any more, that seems to be what we are all worried about. Without pressuring him about it, you should tell him how you feel. If you feel certain that having a baby would be the right thing to do, tell him that is how you feel. If you fear not being able to get pregnant later on, tell him. My personal opinion is that when we are supposed to have a baby, we will, reguardless of our financila circumstances or anything else.

Knowing me i would listen to me spouse. You have to understand that it looks good and its nice to have that family you want right now. You wouldnt have married a stupid person if he feels it not right at the moment just know before a person makes a big choice like that they think and hard even if it does not seem if its really a strong choice. Just trust you friend hes not there to steer you off.

I don't think that you should just acept that. A marriage is between two people and any decision that gets made needs to be made by both of you. If he thought that the world needed to be a better place before you two had children together, he should have told you that before you got married. I don't think that there is much you can do aside from trying to talk to him about it. I mean it all comes down to this: If your husband refuses to change his mind, refuses to bring children into this world, are you willing to stay with him? You need to decided which is more important, having children or being with your husband? I hate to say it but if I was in a relationship with someone and an issue like this came up, I think I would end the relationship. I wouldn't want to be miserable about the choice for the rest of my life and I wouldn't want to be with a person that wasn't willing to help me be happy. I think that one of the things that keeps this world from being taken over by bad things, is having children. If we raise our children to be responsible then we have made a difference and I think in essence we make the world a better place. I think it would be even sadder not to have a family to love but I could be wrong. I personally have two children and while I agree that this world is far from perfect, I wouldn't do a thing different. I love my children and I cherish my time on earth with them.

You asked a simple question, the simple answer is yes I would be very upset with my husband for having this big of a change of heart and not talking to me about it. Clearly you aren't communicating on the "big" stuff the way you should be. Having a child is something that you both need to sit down and talk about. Since this was something you both agreed was part of your "dreams" when you married if he has since changed his mind entirely you need to discuss how this affects you individually and as a couple. Can you be happy without having children?

I do understand the reaction f your husband about having a baby now because you can see that our economy is so depressing. In my case, im 23 when i have my son. We never expected him and everythings so hard for us and our situation so difficult but i choose to keep my baby even we are struggling and financially unstable.But you know, even that life so hard baby brings smile and happiness to your life, i can see my husband now is happy being a father. You both not getting any younger,we can't say that this is the best time to have a baby but when? You both plan to have a baby so why not take any risks after that everythings will be alright as long as you both going to accept responsibility. Maybe your hubby is not yet ready for responsibility as a father. Give him time to think about having a baby and asks him again about it.The important is don't lost the love between two of you even he makes you feel upset, that's what hubby's are always upset wife.

The best thing you can do for now is to talk to your hubby about it.. i mean, tell him how you really feel.. then listen to what he's going to say.. if his reasons are valid then try to understand.. maybe he's still saving up for the future of your baby..

Women matures emotionally first that is why we feel a lot of things some men don't like settling down and have kids. I went through your stage too. I know it is not easy when we want to have children and our spouse is not ready for that. He is also actually looking at the practical side of it I think. You have to also try to answer the question he has raised like will you be able to give the best for your child if he/she comes into this world? If you believe so that you can then tell him about it. For me parenthood is a lifetime responsibility. Are you ready for that kind of responsibility? If you really want to have kids then go ahead be patient enough to convince him and talk to him about it in the nicest way you can. Keep your calm. You can volunteer babysitting your neighbor's baby for the meantime, then you will see and feel what motherhood is. ;-)

My husband and I have been married for a month, we both want children. We will definitely "produce" them until we're financially supportive. I think making babies is like part of the deal. Why do you want to get married? Besides the reason that you love him is because you both want to make a the next generation and becoming a family family. MY husband told me at a point that he doesn't like the education system right now etc but so what? You cannot skip it due to that. You just gotta keep moving and see what happens. If you have good morale, good sprit, your kid will be good people under your teaching. That's what I think.

I got so emotional after reading this and do not know what to say.It has already been 5 years of marriage and if children is in your priority list then have them now because biological clock is also ticking.If your husband does not want to bring the baby in this world ,then what kind of world does he perceive for his kids?Or if he is thinking of becoming more financially stable ,does he have any future plans for this?These are some of the points you must clearly discuss with your partner otherwise sulking will add poison into your married life.