Suitor with different culture, what to do?

Okay. Just to put this up in the air, I am a devout Christian American-born woman and my husband is a devout Muslim Moroccan-born man. Reading your post really scares me, because you're going on about pork when that would be the most INSIGNIFIGANT struggle of your relationship. If you can't even deal with the pork thing, my advice is to run away as soon as possible. As for the 5 wives, actually Muslims are only allowed 4 wives but as I tell my husband, if he does marry another girl, he'll still only have one wife, because I'll be gone. Polygamy is not very popular in the Arab world nowadays anyway. Even the king of morocco only has one wife. Basically, the biggest struggles you will have if you decide to go through with this relationship is feeling alone in your faith. Having people at church ask you how your husband is doing and feeling uncomfortable that he will never go to church with you. If you ever have children he will want to raise that child Muslim. If it's a girl he may want her to wear hijab, in which case you will feel awful that your daughter is being made to wear a scarf over your head while her mom is not, and how that doesn't make any sense. You will deal with cultural differences on the issue of what a wife is and how women are supposed to dress and behave around men and around their husband. These are serious issues, much more serious than pork and rice. And they are life decisions that have to include a whole lotta compromise.

uhm well, thats kinda hard, but if you will ask me, i think you should give it up. i mean you are beautiful im sure you can find another guy who is enjoying things that you do. and im not into muslim, i mean its hard if you are a christian to marry a muslim person. but its ok if you are willing to change religion, the decision is all yours, if you really love that guy then go for it, but talk to your parents first and have a reflection if you really wnated that kind of life , i mean not eating pork and everything you like hahahha. take care! and goodluck! ;)

The fact that you are already thinking of another guy, shows that you are mature enough to understand the incompatibility of your pair. With sensible dating next time round, you would soon find the guy who would have a lot more in common with you. Different culture and religion may sound exotic from far, but when you have to spend your days with that person, its better to be more careful.

your question will be answered by the person himself, now that you are not yet tied up, tell him about all your question to him, and if he gave you answer that you like, then marry him. LOL

You are right. There are little chances of success in this doubtful condition. To develop a relation the first thing is to have some important habits to be in common. Food habit is very important, because if it is not in common, you will never have the chance to eat a romantic dinner. But then there are couples in the world with great differences in habits, and lifestyle. So go ahead and test your match.

Marriage of the two people who are not party to the side of compromise, even if the two backgrounds, living conditions are the same people together, will have different ideas, different lifestyles and interests. Two people together should not be a party to adapt to the other side, there was no need for each other and change their lifestyle, hobbies. As long as to find a balance point, the composition of harmonious living there.

Religion is one the major issues in marriage. It is better to have the same religion. But if you are in love and you really want to be together forever then I think the two of you should decide before everything starts. What will be your plan for your family, who will follow which religion or the two of you just remain with your religion. That matter will really depend on your agreement. I know some couple with different religions, but they work well in their life, have good kids.

It depends on you and how strongly you feel about him. If you like him but don't feel that you could love him, then why suffer through all of these differences. It sounds like a lot of work and effort to be with someone who you only like a little bit. Best to figure out how strongly you feel for him, and if it is not that stronly, then you might want to try and find someone who it will not be such a struggle to be with.

Sorry to tell you this but i don't think your relationship with your arabic boyfriend will succeed.. how can you spend the rest of your life with him if you don't agree on certain things right now? i'm sure you've got other suitors other than him so if i were i'd settle for someone who can accept the real me..

Your relation with your suitor have different culture will not last for long time because nowadays it you can see the difference between your likes and dislikes. Well if you really love that guy you talk to him to make an udjustment regarding your likes. Both of you have make an arrangement or else nothing to happened or early separations may cause. Try to talk to him as soon as possible.

I think it's easier to date someone with a common background. Usually someone in those type of relationship have to make a sacrifice in order for it to work. This can be extremely difficult if you are both happy with your religion or whatever. In the end it is your choice and not for us people on mylot to decide. lol

I think you better find another boyfriend or just be on your own for a while. I am a Malaysian Muslim man and it's very common in my country for inter-racial marriages as our society consist of Malay, Chinese, Indian, Eurasian and 250 other small ethnic. Maybe the tolerance in terms of culture is better in my country. Muslim are allowed to have 4 wifes at a time, not 5 wifes and you can only marry more than one if you are financially capable, have the consent of the existing wife and can be fair. I am very sure your Arabic friend won't give up Islam to marry you. The last thing that you should do is to trade your believe just to get married to somebody. Don't go for somebody just for the look, go deep into his heart and yes, compatibility is important. There should be more in common and disagreement. When there is an disagreement, sit down and talk to find a win-win solution. I wish you all the best gracemanotoc because I am very sure you will find your Mr. Right very soon!:-)

Well... according to what you said, the future of the relationship seems just discouraging. You and he have so many cultural differences. Eating is only one side of the coin. There may be other things that you and he may have disagreement. There will be times when one particular thing is very natural for him, like having 5 wives. But for you, it is totally out of the norm. Even though you two can get together after some struggle and serious consideration, it may not be easy when it comes to real life issues. So, think thoroughly before you dive into the relationship.

Think about it a thousan times. If you end up together, you have to consider major things. First, you can't go to church together. Although both of you have deep faith in God still you have different religion. Unless, one of you will give up his/her religion and will go through conversion. Then, of course the food. You just said that you had a date but ate in different restaurants. Are you willing to give up some things that you are used to because its the things he doesn't do? As early as now, you have to decide.

i guess you are thinking wisely if you find another guy. how can you be happy with him? going and eating out is a core of a relationship. it is where you grow with each other. but if you do it separately, how can you grow together. one thing more is the values that both of you have. if you are both adaptable to each other's values, then it will be fine. but your concern of him having many wives is valid. i think it is wise to search for a guy that will share most of your values and preferences. goodluck.

have you ever considered "what if"? i don't think its about the culture, its the man itself.