he was not even my boyfriend....
By nyao2x
@nyao2x (53)
Philippines
January 20, 2009 4:07am CST
but he was to first to break my heart...
I "fell in love" with my classmate who had a huge crush on me. He was not my type and i didn't really pay attention to him. Just then, my friends became close with their group and so i started to be friends with him.
Our "thing" came as if it didn't even come. it was really complicated. This guy is involved in a five-year relationship with a very nice girl. Though according to my friends, their relationship is in a flat mode. Nothing's happening, and everything's a routine.
in the process of trying to fill gaps, i just realized that i was falling for him. he's totally different. there was electricity even when he would just pat my back. i thought that things between us would develop, but sadly, after a very interesting party, he suddenly disappeared. as o=if nothing has happened. we lost communication (it was a semester break) and i was left hanging.
i know that he doesn't deserve me and i don't deserve him. but it's just that i unconsciously allowed him to break my heart(for the first time). it was dumb, but i know that it was real.
i thought that i'd never get to move on... but happily, i am now. and i am happy :)
3 responses
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
23 Jan 09
The thing that you allowed this thing to happen means you can allow him also not to break your heart. You have moved on because a deep relationship didn't push through. You were young and fancied a lot. But most things that we fancied would fade. Congratulations!
@nyao2x (53)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
wow! yes, i agree. i am moved on now...i still see him in our classes, but we rarely talk. just civil. sometimes, i can't help but to remember our "past" whenever i see him, but now i know how to control myself more. i hope i can still manage to continue the progress to happiness and freedom from the really bad experience. but i have learned something, and that's what's important. :) thanks! :)
@piya84 (2581)
• India
20 Jan 09
I think that was just strong attraction you felt for that person.Attraction is first sttep towards love and relationship.I know your pain must be strong.I have gone through such a situation before.Nothing much you can do realy.Thats good that you have move on with life.But i have one ownest advise for you.Dont go behind people who are already in relationship.Even though their relationship appears flat or weak.There are up and down in relationship.Genaraly whenever people face up and down in relationship they try to support from other people,mostly from poeple who are liking them or have some sort of attraction.Like you had from him.It just temparary punch to their ego.Whenever they feel relationship is now working well.They give away this temaparary support and go bak to their lovers.
@nyao2x (53)
• Philippines
20 Jan 09
you're right. good thing i didn't jumped into the trap. i never dreamed of becoming a third party or what.it would just get back at me, i know. well, i don't really know if that's attraction.. physically, he's not my type.. i don't know. he was different but it doesn't matter now... whew. lol.
@markroderick (888)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
i have some friends who have the same situation as yours. there are times in our lives that we just fall in love with the right person at the wrong time. though it really hurts because they never love us back. but in the end we learn a lot of lessons from it.
