Modern day ideas: Digitally boosted Islam:)

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After soem comments in another discussion, I just came up with 2 awesome Ideas to improve life in areas governed by Sharia Law[b] 1. The Digital Quran[/b]Many times a radical Muslim will have to face many difficult decisions: My wife was not submissive enough today, should I beat her, throw her out in the street, kill her or just let her live another day? or, My son is thinking of quitting Islam, should I kill him with stones, kill him with knives, cut off his head, hands, etc etc. Is this his mother's fault, should I do them both with one move? And these are of course very hard to figure out correctly, because the Quran and Hadiths and such, are all so complicated and twisted. Enter the Digital Quran! Through a series of checklists and buttons and beeping lights, the Muslim can enter exactly what happened, and once a few key points are established, BLING! the correct light goes off. Kill, Maim, beat, divorce or my personal favourite: Leave alone, focus on infidels :D The 'DeLuxe' model can be connected to a radio remote controller, that when the KILL light goes off, unlocks the gun stores around the house, opening a complete array of guns, swords, knives and other Jihad tools. Whaddya think, does my product have a future on the Islamic market?[b] 2. The second idea is the 'Call your Imam' nonstop Hotline[/b] Just to overcome the limitation of the Digital Quran, the Muslims will have a direct line to a bunch of Imam operators, who will be fully trained and qualified to answer any difficulties with the decisions above. Wife talking back? Kids starting to think outside of Islam? Having second thoughts about killing them? No problem, call an Imam TODAY, and get your official KILL order :D Our Imams will have live recordings of the best hate discourses, inflaming speeches, awesome sound effects, and the sound of YOUR virgins awaiting you in Paradise :D At prompt number 2, you have a range of technically skilled operators that can help you with all your bomb construction needs, torture, and best throwing tips for effective stoning to death, that will take your stoning game to the next level. Call now, our lines are open You think these would work on the marked, or am I too late and they already have em?