i can't take it anymore.............
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
Canada
January 22, 2009 1:39am CST
I am about to just up and go even without money to do it. The woman that tries to call herself my mother is going to be out of my life permanently once I am gone. I have cut her out of my life before and I was so stupid to think she would be any different this time. I am so frustrated with everything. I am stressing because she is always on me about something. If I had this house sp1c and span except for a couple dishes she would be fighting with me over the couple dishes. The yelling she always has to do, the drinking, the lying and just everything she is doing to herself, I just can't do this anymore and would rather walk to the next town than be here any longer. If I didn't have to worry about my kids then I would do just that. She cannot be trusted with kids anymore. Today I took my sister to work and she watched the kids because there wasn't enough room in the truck. Well i get back and here is 2, 2yr olds and a 6 yr old watching an R rated movie with blood and gore. I blew a gasket. She doesn't care how screwed up she is going to make these kids if they stay around her. Every other word she says is F*ck and she doesn't care if the kids are around. I have caught her actually trying to get the 2 yr olds to say A$$hole. She honestly thinks that if we say SH!T instead of poop my son will be better with using the bathroom. I don't understand where her screwed up thinking has come from. In the last 5 years she has gone from mother and grandmother of the year to this!!! I don't even wanna write what I want to call her.
She is an Abusive Alcoholic that is in a relationship with an Abusive Alcoholic. She is turning into her mother more and more every day. OMG I just want to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!have any of you dealt with a woman like this? If so, How did you deal with it?
6 people like this
9 responses
@SydneyHazelton (4586)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
I'm sorry to hear that you have to endure all these awful things. Your entire family is in jeopardy. You need to protect yourself and your children, first and foremost. Your mother needs help. I would definitely not leave my children with an addict like her. It's just far too dangerous. She might be too drunk to even remember she might have said or done. I don't know. I would refer her for help. And I think your children might be affected to, you never know. Kids absorb things very easily everything they see and hear. If your mother is a bad influence, they might just think that is the norm in the house. I want you to take care of yourself and your children. I would stay away for awhile until she agrees to go for help. This option is only possible if you do have somewhere else to go though.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
23 Jan 09
I do have someplace to go I just have to get the money to get there. It will cost me and my kids about 600 by bus more by plane and if I drive probably about 1500 because I need to bring my stuff too. I can't leave it all behind. I have forced my son to do that before and it really traumatized him.
1 person likes this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
I am pretty sure the latter is what is going to happen. She doesn't see anything wrong with what she is doing. It's how she was raised and it is how she raise my sister and I but I made the choice 4 yrs ago to stop the cycle. I would never treat my children the way she treats me and my kids.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
22 Jan 09
It seems that your mother has some issues she needs to deal with before she is able to help you in your motherly duties and the daily care of young children. I think that it is entirely your responsability to raise your kids and make sure that they grow up in a sane environment without seeing R rated movies. I know that work is an important for you since one cannot live without money but kids needs love and care and protection which your mother cannot provide at this moment. I can understand that this is a hard time for you but you need to help her. You must abandon your mum because of her drinking probems. If I were you I would seke professonal help there are lots of groups which cater for this problem. When she is back to her old self than she can take of your children once again. But up till now I would not let my own kids under her care. She needs someone to take care of her right now.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
I couldn't agree with you more and I have in the past stopped all communication with her hoping it would have that affect on her but it didn't because no one else wanted to do the same. The rest of the family, aside from my sister, doesn't care enough to help me help her. I cannot do it on my own, it's too big of a problem for me to do it alone. She needs everyone to stop communication with her until she realizes what she is doing to herself. She told me once that the doctors don't give her past 50 and she is 47 now and still in her destructive ways. My sister thinks she is hiding something from us and it would not surprise me because over the years she has become a pathological liar. She doesn't see it when she lies. Yes my kids are suffering over all of this too and I see it more than anyone might think but until I am out of this house there isn't a whole lot I can do. I help my kids see that what she is doing is wrong but at the same time I do not want them to hate her either. I feel like I am in a no win situation. thank you for your advice.
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
Wow! This is a tough situation. I have read from your other responses that she doesn't realize she has a problem and your right ... if she doesn't think she needs help then it's not going to work. The best chance of help or rehab working is if the person realizes they have the problem and they REALLY want the help to change and better their life. All I can say is that I am sorry that you and your children are going through this difficult time and I hope things get better for you!
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
Thank you for your response. and I agree will all you have said. Things will get better soon. I am going to get a place of my own so we can have a normal life without her interfering in everything. If she wants to ruin her life she can but I refuse to allow her to do it to me or my kids.
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
27 Jan 09
I'm glad to hear that things will be getting better for you and your family soon! I can understand why your doing it too because as a mum myself I can relate to wanting to do what is best for your children. I'm an adult so I can tolerate quite a bit, BUT once a situation arises where my daughter could be involved, hurt, or what have you then my tolerance drops. Their is NO way I am going to ever put my daughter through something she doesn't need to go through! I'm happy for you for making this decision, and I wish you and your fazmily well!
1 person likes this
@hildas (3031)
•
23 Jan 09
My thoughts are with you. Your Mother sounds a great person sober and it really is awful for you to have to deal with her and your kids. I feel for you right now.
I think your Mother has to help herself before she can see what she has done. Maybe if you tell her you are leaving it might shock her. Well maybe not.
I really think she needs to sort out her own affairs and I think you would be better asking her to go and get help or talking your children out of there.
I really hope you do something soon as you cannot go on like this. My thoughts are with you now. Take care strawberrykisses and god bless.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
23 Jan 09
She will not take anyone's advice as she sees nothing wrong with what she is doing to herself. I am hoping to be outta here within 2 weeks tops.
1 person likes this
@nandhinijagan (76)
• India
23 Jan 09
I have read your wordings. Sorry to hear this. I have not dealt with such a woman in my life and i have not such a person in my life. Don't worry. God is there. Believe him. He will cure all our sorrows. Just pray to God everyday. He will certainly help you. God is the only person who will response immediately to all our sorrows. I used to pray God when i am in a bad situation. Do yoga and meditation and that will clear your mind. Don't let your confidence down. I am telling you this as your friend.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
23 Jan 09
get out take yout kids and run and don,t look back for sake of your children.your children don,t deserve a grandmother like this.run,run run as fast as you can
@ayessa (1583)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
This is so sad. I am sure you and your mother will soon be getting along well. JUst pray for her so that she may soon realize all the wrongs that she did with you and to the kids. I'm sure time will really come that everything will be fine and forgiveness will arise. I just hope that you will not really cut all the ties to her since she's still your mom. Though I know it was really something hard...Just try to be distant to her so that you two wont clash.
