tired of being labeled a bad mother
By Amanda198785
@Amanda198785 (45)
United States
January 22, 2009 4:45am CST
I am always being labeled as a bad mother and it really hurts. My grandmother is notorious for doing this I raise my children a completely different way then she raised me and my sister and so she automatically labels me as being a bad mother. My kids are not completely potty trained yet and I was potty trained by her at 18 months old so I'm doing something wrong. My kids don't sleep at regular times everyday but are in bed at a desent time so i'm a bad mom and anytime i get into a argument with her she always says well at least i never had the state called on me which is true I did have the state called on me by my neighbor stating that I was a drug addict and they came and checked my kids my house and made me take UAs constantly that I passed eveytime the reason SRS was called on me was because me and the neighbor got into a physical fight and she got upset and wanted to hurt mein another way by getting my kids taken she later apologized for it but now i feel like i'm a bad mother because i am constantly being told this. my kids have a roof over the head food in the bellys and almost anything that they could desire. what should i do when this negative stuff is being said to me all my friends and my husband say that i am a great mother and they are just trying to bring me down. Like i said this really hurts me, what do you think about this?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
23 Jan 09
Oh my goodness. Family are meant to support you not put you down.
I have made a few mistakes with raising my children but my family has always supported me. Makes me realise how lucky I am.
I think you need to distance yourself from your grandmother a bit. She is entitled to her opinion but she doesn't need to voice it!
You sound like a good mother and should just ignore her! Your husband knows you better than anyone else and if he has no problems then neither should anyone else.
Good luck hun x
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Don't let it bother you!
If you believe you are a good mother, you probably are. It sounds like you are to me based on what you have said.
18 months for potty training is a bit early, and I imagine your mother may have forced at least one of you to do it. There are a lot of children who are just becomming fully potty trained by 3, so you should be fine. As long as your children are happy and healthy, I'd say you're doin alright.
Nobody is born knowing right off how to be an extraordinary parent. We learn as we go. Just because your way differs from hers does not make you a bad parent. I guarantee when I have kids, my methods for raising them will differ greatly from the way I was raised.
Keep your head held high, a smile on your face, and let the insults go in one ear and out the other. That's my best advice.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
I am a mother myself. It is really hurting if we will be called bad mothers. I understand where you are coming from. It is so hard to fulfill the motherhood. So no one has ever have the right to call us bad mothers. Because no one can equate what we are doing and sacrificing for our children.
@kilani123 (864)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Jan 09
U will just do fine , forget about others talking about how bad or good mother are ya and do your best !!
Good Luck ;)
@cheryltippett (231)
• United States
22 Jan 09
What defines a good mother ? A good mother is a mother who provides shelter for her children, Food for their bellies, a tissue and a hug for when they are crying , A pair of warm,, cuddling arms to hold them safely when they have just had a nightmare. A good mother teaches her children to do right and avoid the temptations that lead to doing wrong . A good mother instills values and morals into her children . A good mother loves her children uncondtionally . A good mother loves her children even if they do wrong . A good mother keeps all substances and people away that could harm her children. No matter what anyone says if you are doing right by your cildren , You are a good mother . Let your children know every minute of the day , how much you love them . Don't let what other people say bother you. So what if you are raising your children different than what your grandmother raised you. As long as you and your children are healthy and happy , I say GREAT JOB...........
Cheryl
@SuperHumanC (64)
• United States
22 Jan 09
Amanda,
I'm sure you will roll your eyes in disbelief but please believe me, you are NOT a bad mother. Maybe the fact that you are raising your kids differently and they are so wonderful is driving your grandmother crazy! And you know, people on put others down because they themselves are miserable and want to hate on others.
Keep your chin up Amanda, you're doing a wonderful job and do not listen to the haters!!
@jcay_lorna (433)
• Ireland
22 Jan 09
Oh dear, I think the first thing that you can do is to believe yourself that you're not a bad mother. Reaffirm to yourself that you're not a bad mother. That way even if your mother tells you otherwise it won't affect you that much because inside you, you believe that you're not. Secondly, your the mother of your babies and I think you know best what they need. If it suits you not to potty train the kids early then it's fine. There are lots of babies in the world that are not potty trained at 18 months and that includes mine. But that doesn't mean that I'm a bad mother as well. So I think you just believe in yourself and I think you're doing great as a mom.
