do you have friends? real true friends? life or death friends? are you sure?
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
January 22, 2009 7:58am CST
If you really, really, really, think about it how many friends can you say would have your back through anything. How many friends can you trust with your most intimate secrets? I have thought about it and I have come up with NONE. NOT A ONE! Thats being realistic. I have given so much of myself and in return I have received nothing. I am always the as*hole. I dont care anymore. I am not saying I am this innocent woman and everyone takes advantage. By no means do I think I didnt have a part in the endings of friendships. Its just that I am tired of not being able to say this or that without worrying what will be added. I am me and nothing can change that. I guess I am not a good friend. My man is my friend. My best friend is my daughters. With them I will never go wrong. How bout you?
8 people like this
35 responses
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I do have true real friends. They have been there for me through so many hardships that I lost a lot of friends from. I would easily without a second thought give my life for these friends and I know they would give their lives for me, but I couldn't let them do that haha.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
30 Jan 09
Its nice to hear that someone has friends they would sacrifice for. Not that that is the issue or reason for the friendship. I have seen so many instances where things were the other way around. Its good to know that its not the only way. Congratualtions. You are a very lucky girl. dl
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
27 Jan 09
the people i know tend to live far. so i just communicate with them by letters or emails. we are not as close as we used to be, but we remain friends. i am an adult. and i was closer with friends when i was in school, whether elementary school, high school, college or all. after college, everyone i know, goes there separate way. but some still try to keep in contact once in a while.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I think you have the right idea. If you dont have day to day physical communication, it seems to be a meaningful reunion when you do see each other. I hope you arent lonely. It doesnt seem like you should be. I dont talk to many people that I would look at as friends. I dont think It bothers me. If I had a choice I would want to do it the way that you do. Thanks so much for responding. dl
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
22 Jan 09
My daughter is my worse enemy but I am so lucky to have 2 true blue best friends one I have had for 40 years and the other for the 32 years I have been in the States. They have both proved over and over through thick and thin to be loving, supportive and trustworthy.
2 people like this
@mlbusiness92369 (21)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I'm so sorry that you and your daughter aren't good with one another. I honestly can't imagine where I would be without my mother. I'm sending you hugs.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
24 Jan 09
I think real true friends are rare. I have a few good reliable friends but there is only one that I would trust with my life. We sometimes go months without speaking because we are both very busy but when we catch up it is like we were never apart. I have lived with her and aside from my husband there is not too many people I can happily do that with. We share deep intimate secrets and I know she is the one I could rely on with anything.
2 people like this
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I used to think that I had a lot of real true friends that truly cared about me but recently it seems like they just kind of cut me out of their group. It's okay though because my girlfriend will always be there for me and I still have one friend that I know will always be my friend no matter what. That one friend that I have has been there since the beginning and ever since we first saw each other we were just sort of naturally friends for some reason. I'm very glad that I met my girlfriend and my friend that I can trust with anything. Either way life goes on and I guess you just got to keep on living.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Very well said. I must say I can relate to you completely. I think it is so devastating when you are cut out of the group or made to feel dispensable. I can honestly say the only people that I can consider to have my back as far as advice or conversation would be the myLotters. I like the idea of being able to say how I feel and get accepted no matter what the response is. dl
@WebMann (4731)
• Canada
23 Jan 09
I would say that I don't have friends like that. I don't even have friends that I would trust as friends. People tend to be users and keep up a good front so as to keep their options open but without much of a commitment.
I had a very bad childhood with a lot of abuse and was moved from home to home from age 5 until I finally ran away from the last home at age 15. That doesn't give one much hope in mankind.
But I still enjoy life a lot. I just don't trust people.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I am so glad to know that I am not alone. I do feel bad that you are feeling the same way I do. I think its for the best. Now I dont have to deal with all that he said she said. I dont put up with anyone's drama but my own. I can tell you this if you need to talk, I will have no problem listening. Sometimes it takes a stranger. dl
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
23 Jan 09
I think the term "friend" has different shades of meaning. I can say I have several friends, putting into the list everybody I know and have interacted peacefully with, but if calling someone a friend means "baring one's soul" to them, I hardly have any friends. I haven't opened myself up even to my dogs. LOL! I think, taken in that sense, a person's best friend is his/her own self.
Cheers and happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
The sad part about it is I have dogs too. I think they're the best friends I have. They love me no matter what I have, what I say, and what I do. I think your dogs have figured you out thats why they are your dogs. I dont think that we need friends to define the person we are. I know I am a good person. I just give to many chances to bad people. I have felt guilty for so long about the company I keep. Now I realize that I was just trying to give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. That is impossible to do if you really get to know individuals. I am okay with the fact that I am basically by myself. dl
@szechow_ong (149)
• Malaysia
28 Jan 09
Its true that real good and true friends are really very very hard to find. Maybe i do have one friend that i can share my stuff with. Though in college i have quite a number of friends, i feel that they're just fake. They are sort of like making use of you and they are just plastic and just so insincere.
1 person likes this
@szechow_ong (149)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 09
Yea, life don't always go the way we want it to go. People say to have good friends, you have to be one too. But sad to say that a lot of times it won't apply. Lately, i just realized that in this world, everybody makes use of everybody to get somewhere in life, this should only be to a certain extent. But some are just overboard. Its really sad to have this kind of discussion :( BUT its life
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I have a best friend who I can count on for 99% of anything that could happen in life and she knows most of my most intimate secrets...but no one knows everything. I am the one who know everything...who knows where all the bodies are buried...and no one knows that I know because I know how to keep my mouth shut, even in anger. I have yet to meet anyone who could do the same if seriously ticked off so some things I have always kept to myself.
@I_am_yours_06 (185)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
I dont have lots of bestfriend,i'm very selective coz its very hard to find true and real friends.. i've known my bestfriend since we're in elementary.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I am truly happy for you. I had a best friend since kindergarten and after all the shady things she did and the fact the I stood by her side through it all she chose a man over me. Nice hah? You a very fortunate to be someone who can enjoy the camaraderie of another. dl
@mlbusiness92369 (21)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I have a few that I would say have my back; but my absolute best friend in this world is my husband and mother. Beyond that, I would have to say Jesus. I'm for real here too.
2 people like this
@cocozhi (80)
• China
23 Jan 09
I think a real friend is , knew everything I felt , understood my wonders , and listened to my dreams , listened to how I felt about life and love , knew what it all means. And realized that this perfect friend I found But those who let me sad is my boyfriend , we said "good-bye " yesterday.Once i thought he was my true friend , infact ,no . He made me disappointed .
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Dont let it get you. Shake it off. Take a few days for yourself to reflect on the past and what you want for your future and move on. Its a shame that good people have to go through bad things. I am sure you feel hurt and alone. It will get better I assure you. I am going thru something similar. I am looking for an apartment to leave my relationship as well. Its sad and I feel terrible. I can honestly say I did everything in my power to make it work. I will be okay. I have to be. Keep the faith. dl
@gbolly54 (661)
• Nigeria
23 Jan 09
Such friends are very rare to come by nowadays. I thought I had got one like that until he was forced to make a hard choice between me and his wife a few months ago. Honestly, I won't blame him for deciding to lose my precious friendship rather than offend his wife, who had borne 3 fine kids for him. Maybe I would have done the same thing. The lesson I learnt from the incident is that souse comes before friend, at least in most cases.
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
I have one bestfriend for 14 years now. We really have so many differences but we manage to be and stay af best of friends. We promised to be best of friends till we die.
1 person likes this
@vicky30 (4766)
• India
3 Feb 09
Yes i have friends
.But i cannot call them my true friends.They will only contact me if they have problems.Otherwise they will just keep quiet.A true friend will never give the excuse "he's busy" that why he didn't contact us.A true friend is a person who calls us sometimes and also helps us in times of need.
.But i cannot call them my true friends.They will only contact me if they have problems.Otherwise they will just keep quiet.A true friend will never give the excuse "he's busy" that why he didn't contact us.A true friend is a person who calls us sometimes and also helps us in times of need.1 person likes this
@manunulat (604)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
I can count up to 9 but I have many friends. That number is for people who are not my relatives but there are close people in my relatives too which I consider friends. I don't expect anything from them. If there are circumstances in my life which I can basically handle, I ask them some pieces of advice and if they don't give me one, it's fine. Sometimes problems are resolved in many ways and friendship is just around the corner, tested and to be tested in time. The friends which I consider most special are those who can determine the things I don't see in me (not fault-finding but constructive ones.). Well, that is what I think right now. I have a commitment in our circle and they to have, there are some things that are more than what single words can express...
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I am glad you that you have friends or people close to you that serve as your protector, confidant, etc. Some people are people magnets. Or leaders. People levitate towards you. That is a gift my friend. Be thankful that you have FRIENDS. They're are coveted. dl
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
23 Jan 09
The only ones I truly trust with my most intimate secrets would be my family, but I've never put my other friends to the test. There are some things that are simply nobody's business, no matter how good a friend they are.
1 person likes this
@lihongyi (124)
• China
23 Jan 09
I had two friends before,but our relationship didn't last for a long time,because I left the school.My parents could never be my friends.And I always argue with my sister,though she is actually nice.My best friend must be the little mongrel I adopted,I am nice to him,and he also pay me back by doing what I told him to do.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I hate when people leave and others promise to keep in touch. You know right well that out of sight out of mind. You are forgotten in a week. I am not sure what you adopted. I believe youre talking about a dog. Am I right? If so that will definitely be a friend for life. dl
