Visitation?

I think its best to talk to your son first. Summon up the courage to ask him does he want to see and know his father? Sometimes we take it for granted to ask the opinion of the child. If he wants to see his dad then let them know each. If not, ask him why, and then find a way to get him around to finally know his dad. What about you? Do you want the father to be a part of his life?

Bad fathers are hard to deal with (I know, I had one) and you want to protect you little boy. However, a father is a father and if he is sober and going to be a good part of your son's life then it would be horribly sad if you kept him from that. Little boys (and girls) need a dad and if he will be there then it is important that he can be. From experience, even if it turns out that his dad doesn't keep it all together and hurts him it will still be better that you let them have a relationship (no matter how bad it is). If you keep them apart too long it will cause resentment. Your son will come to resent you and blame it all on you. This is bad too. While it isn't easy, give the man a second chance and figure out a good visitation schedule. Take it slow and let them form a relationship.

You really have no choice. It's not about if you should allow it or not. If your husband really wants to be a part of his sons life & you do refuse, it could be a big ole mess for you. What I would do is meet with the father without your son & just see what state of mind he really is in. If all seems ok, then set up a date where the 3 of you can meet together for an hour. Talk with your son, he is old enough to understand a little bit. Don't tell him the bad stuff about his father, just let him know he does have a dad & he wants to be a part of your life now. But I would start talking with your son & if the father is serious, I'm sure you can tell if he has changed or not. Ask to see where he lives & so on... you have every right to be nosey in this case... Good luck..

For me everyone needs a father, no matter how will we look all angles his still his father, flesh and blood. Even your separated in this world, your son needs a father still, you can still love your son and showing your both their even your not leaving in the same roof. Your problem with the father of the kids it's just both of you, don't include your son to it. It's kind a unfair if your just gonna think of your self. For sure your son will be happy meeting, seeing, being with his father once in a while. Well the truth will come out in the end. Your lucky some fathers are jerk and don't wanna see there children and they just leave problems, no support, or seeing their children. God be with you and your son! Well he could only be with your son when your there. You could set rules for him about visiting your son. It's your decision cause your the mother and your son is with you. I just respect your decision. Have a nice day! God will make a way!

I skimmed through some of the responses and your comments here. I just want to say, my oldest son is now 11. His father was nothing but a momentary fling if you know what I mean, and left state after conception. He knows about his son, and pays $50 a month child support (sometimes) but wants nothing else to do with him, sadly. When my son was 4 I began dating a wonderful man, who 2 years later became my husband. We've had 4 more children together, and of course my first son calls him dad. Now my son realizes my husband is not his real father. He's been given all the information I have about his real father (well, all the good information anyways, I've left out a few things). So I'm not trying to blind sight him or bring him up under a lie, because that is certainly wrong! But he has never met his real father, and I highly doubt he ever will. Okay, just wanted to share that story because I read yours above and felt like I connected with it and just had to share this part. Anyways, to answer your question... I think it is important for your son to know who his real father is. You don't want him to be like 18 and realize that he had a chance to know his father and you're the one who kept them apart. You know how that would feel since you went through it. I suggest you sit your son down and tell him the truth about his father. He'll accept it best coming from you. You can leave the bad parts out, but explain to him in a way he can understand why his father hasn't met him yet ("He was sick" would be a good excuse). Then, at some point, you and your son can meet his father at a playground or some place similar. A public place where you can monitor your son, that way you'll feel safer about it. Do that a few times until you feel comfortable letting the dad take him without your presence.