What will you do if you don't know how to choose between love and study?

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We knew each other on the internet and we knew we were schoolmates. He was two years older than me. He thought I ...speak like a dictionary, and he admires me a lot. But of course, I helped him a lot on his study. And we one night hung out together without letting my parents know, and I even cheated on them ..that I was going to the library... we didn't show anything to each other. But both of us could feel something, I believe he could! This is my first time that I've done such a crazy thing, it seemed impossible to me before, I could never think about that...My family education is very traditional, and my parents never doubt I would hang out with a guy... However, compared with my study, nous stops me from falling in love with him, but I sometimes don't know if I've already done so..I mean sometimes, I think we are just friends, we are just bro and sis...I don't know how he is feeling now. There must be something between us, but I don't know what it is. Nous tells me to focus on my school work. I keep struggling...I am confused and helpless.I even sometimes hope he can be a freshman soon...then I can escape... I think my adolescence came a little bit later, but it's sure to have come to me...