"Spoiled, rotten male," do you ever think of that? Do you ever say it?

@writersedge (22563)
United States
January 25, 2009 8:21am CST
My husband gets everything when he wants it. Dinner when he comes home. Clothes for work. Etc. My cat, pretty much the same thing. Except he doesn't wear clothes, but he gets water and food when he wants and petted when he wants, I was thinking yesterday, "Spoiled rotten males." Why? Because no supper for me when I got home. My clothes aren't washed for me. On top of that, he makes himself hot chocolate and doesn't give me any. I asked for the water filter to be changed a long time ago. It now takes over an hour for a small load of laundry to get done. The liquid rust is flowing from the fausset. Told him it should be changed once a month. About every three months I have to "harp" on it or "nag." Yet if he asks me to make a phone call when he's at work, I do it. There are a thousand employees where he works and two pay phones, so the line at all three times (two breaks and lunch) make it impossible for him to make the phone call, plus the appointment calendars are on the walls here at home. So I do it and it doesn't take me three months and a bunch of nagging either. So I told him he's "a spoiled rotten male." Of course, right now, it's sub-zero outdoors and extremely cold in the basement, but we've had days, in the last three months when it was around 30 degrees. Oh well, glad he's the one paying for the electric bill and he'll be paying when the pump blows. When I bought this house, there were three broken pumps in the basement and no water filter. I had a filter put in. Maybe I'll just wait another three months and when it takes two hours to do laundry and no water comes out of the faucet, he'll get the message.
2 people like this
13 responses
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I have said it to myself but not my husband. He doesn't require a meal at home but does expect the laundry ready for the work week by Monday. My husband has the freedom to do whatever he wants. He's a coach, in addition to working 6 days a week now, and is gone one night a week with softball and most of the day on Sunday. I am home alone way too much. I have freedom too but my friends all work. I took the winter off work because of my back. My husband would prefer I don't work but I like the human interaction and need the socializing so I do work part time all year. My theory is if the wife works, the husband should also help at home. I never did have that from my husband. He won't even hang a picture on the wall. I've waited over 2 years for his help! Think I better give it up and ask one of our kids to help.
3 people like this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Yeah, you have kids, we don't. We're in our 50s, old and arthritic. I wonder how long we'll be ablt to remain independent at this rate.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
25 Jan 09
That should be able, not ablt.
@kezabelle (2974)
25 Jan 09
He may be spoiled but you are the one spoiling him! Just spoil him a little less he will appriciate then what you do do for him. Personally i think if it gets to the point you are thinking he is spoiled then something has to change.
3 people like this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
25 Jan 09
True, on all counts, just hadn't thought about it that way. That's what's cool about Mylot. Many heads are better than one. Thanks!
@PearlGrace (3171)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Uh, oh, it sounds like you were kind of honked off when you started this discussion here on myLot. I don't ever think of it as "spoiled, rotten", but I can get annoyed that it's "a man's world", and I think you known what I mean. There are times when I'd like for everything to be done for me when I get home from work. And I get so tired of going to the grocery store all the time. I do wonder what it would be like to have someone do a lot of my tasks for me while I do whatever I feel like--play on the computer, watch TV, etc. Don't get me wrong though, my husband is a very cool guy and will help do anything that I ask of him, which I appreciate.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 09
Wow! How male can he get?! Sometimes I think they just don't see things at all, let alone the way we women see them. I've been known to resort to leaving notes on the bathroom mirror, which led, at first, to laughter and getting things done. It got old, though, and didn't work again. Being a nag isn't comfortable for us, so why do they make us do it?
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 09
Book, you, too, have a real guy's guy on your hands. Sometimes I think whatever we do is just done, and whatever they do is a very big deal, indeed.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (161165)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Since I have gotten the promotion, hubby has stepped up to the plate pretty nicely. It has lasted about two weeks. He is cleaning the kitchen, and the bathrooms, supposedly. Bathroom is not clean. Kitchen has been pretty good. Cooking is wonderful. We never see each other, hardly, as I work days and he works 3 pm to 11 pm. He does need to change the furnace filter, but I did not remind him, and it is not occurring to him. It is too cold right now, as well.He has always done laundry, but he does it his way, not mine. If I want him to continue, I will just modify. My pet peeve is he hangs everything, even night gowns, on hangers. I want certain things in drawers. Oh, well, I just take them off and fold them. He waits on me hand and foot, sometimes, so I am lucky, and I know it.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jan 09
Lucky you, Gertie! I have to admit, it was my first husband who did nothing and didn't hear the nagging until after I'd left. My present husband treats me as if I'm the Queen of Everything. I'm lucky, too.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
27 Jan 09
well you let it get this way, i mean my wife and i do things for each other. and i can see me telling my wife have dinner ready for me, or get my clothes out for me. oh i would knock out. lol. but we spoil each other, i will help around the house all the time.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
28 Jan 09
He was helping out, I think part of it is that he doesn't feel well. Thanks and take care.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
28 Jan 09
I could think of a few choice names to call those other guys! Starting with inconsiderate slobs and going down from there.
• United States
28 Jan 09
telling him by helping out he's being a real man, i used to called pu$$Y whip by other dudes because i did the cleaning, cooking, dishes and the wash
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Jan 09
wow you must be spoiling him too and he got used to it...well i used to be that way with my husband but it also got to my nerve, just him always getting what he wants! so i kinda had a talk with him and explained that i also need my part of this relationship so kinda compromised...i get what i want and he gets his...so if i do the laundry..he tidies the room..or if i cook, he looks out for the kids...and if i buy him stuff, he also buys me stuff...that kind of thing and its now working well for the two of us...
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 09
We've had these talks, but they don't last very long. He told me he was extremely tired this weekend and didn't realize he was being so one-sided. Thanks and take care.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
talks should last enough for both of you to reach compromise...well in my part that is what i do, i do not rest until we both get to have what we want. lol
@GardenGerty (161165)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Sorry dear, I cannot do the wash, guess you will just have to go pound your clothes on the rocks. The filter is bad, and we have no water pressure. My hubby is not spoiled, just oblivious. Same thing, though. Next warm day, I hope he changes it.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Maybe when he goes to do something with water, he'll realize there is a problem. Good luck and take care.
• India
28 Jan 09
Fact is, why do we wives tolerate it? I have mulled over this many times and the only answer that comes to my mind is coz if I don’t spoil him rotten, the ensuing confrontations would be far worse than what I have to go thru right now. If its any consolation to you, then my day starts as 5am when I get up to prepare for my son’s school. That done, I cook, I clean, I wash, fill up 10 bottles of water from the filter, arrange the house and leave for office by 10am. I’m back by 7pm. Then its my son’s studies, then dinner, then the bed for the night and by 12, I finally get to get some rest. My hubby’s contribution…taking out the trash, buying some groceries, going to the market on Sundays, cleaning the floors on Sunday and doing outside work like paying the bills. Otherwise he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired most of the times in his own work, I cant even get a word in. I, of course being the woman of the house, have ten hands and the resilience of a well-oiled machine! I just wonder what will happen the day this machine breaks down
1 person likes this
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Oh I know what you mean by spoiled rotten males, I have a hubby on top of a dog which more or less I have figured out run the house and a cat too. They have me out numbered 3 to 1. But over the last month and a half I have been really sick, so hubby has been getting his fill of waiting on me and putting eye drops in my eyes from the eye surgery I had. Now scheduling gallbladder surgery and he can wait on me somemore. Hubby does do the dishes and helps around the house, but seems as soon as I sit down he instantly can't remember where any thing seems to be. And he is worst than the dog and cat needing attention.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Good luck on your gallbladder surgery. Good thing my husband doesn't have to put drops in my eyes (I was putting drops in my own eyes way before we ever met, I have occular rosacea which created dry eye). Other than that and the number of animals in the household, sounds like we have the same husband! Ha, ha. Thanks and take care.
• Australia
26 Jan 09
If my husband does something nice ,or is thoughtful towards me I want to know what he's done,because it is so rare That he thinks of me ,Unless he needs to get into my good books or he wants something from me,I have learnt to read the signs you see the pattern is the same.There are three males in this household ,One cat male ,son and my husband they are getting a bit shook up this year ,I Have decieded that I am queen this year And it's my turn to get what I want .No nagging I am not his mother ,tell him once that's it .You ask them to do some-thing they have to think about it first and of course a few days later they have forgotten.lol. This year is about me ,after eight years it's my turn . cheers
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 09
You go woman! After 8 years, it's your turn. Love it! Let me know how it works out.
@dropofrain (1167)
• India
26 Jan 09
I think the males ar spoild because we make them like this. We arrange everything for them in the first place and when they are used to it we have problems doing that for you. I mean this is really sick that we are the ones making them lazy and later on we only regret this thing.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Good points, but we can generally catch it in time and turn it around-usually. Thanks and take care.
• United States
26 Jan 09
Don't give more love and caring than you can afford....lol He does pay the bills....right?
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 09
He pays a percentage of them. Right now 75% because he works full time and I work part time. But some weeks part time equals 7 days a week 1/2 time. I was making meals Mon-Thurs, he ate out on Fridays and meals were supposed to be up to him on Sat and Sun because those are days that I definitely work, but more if I get called to work more. That was supposed to be the deal. I pay for 25% of the bills. It was 50-50 when I still made less than him, but going from full time to part time, I couldn't afford 50-50 any more. It's not just about paying the bills. It's about I go to another room and get a drink, I offer to get one, too. He goes to another room and comes back with a hot chocolate and doesn't even offer to get one for me?
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
26 Jan 09
Hi, That's Ur DEEEEEEP LOVE talked, all over.... I also Talk(ney, whisper) about my wife the same...when I'm "angry Inside"... No wonder, WE R LOVERS ! =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 09
You are funny! Thanks for the male side. Congrats on joining Mylot, see you have 31 next to your name. Hope you're here for a long time, take care.