Would you ever spank your kids?

I agree with everything you said! People need to stop balming their parents for their mistakes and take responsibilty for their own actions!' I will spank my girls in a heartbeat!

I understand exactly how you might have seen it that way. It's easy to confuse a kid. Even when you're not trying.

thank you, btw

Yes, I absolutely agree with everything you say. I think the only time I'd spank a child was if he/she were a dangerous situation, and it's much more effective if it's reserved for those occasions. I got spanked for every little thing I did that I didn't really teach me the difference between playing in a busy street and not wanting to finish my broccoli and why they were wrong, but rather that they were just bad because someone would punish me.

Oh I totally believe time outs work. If your child KNOWS what it is for and you are persistent they will work wonders. When i first started using time outs it was a fight i would have to literally pick my son up and put him wherever he was having time outs but because I kept doing it for all the things he did wrong it works for me and all I have to do is SAY he is going for time out and he will stop misbehaving. i think my son doesn't hit more because he has not seen it. We learn everything from our parents and if we are raised with parents that hit us we think it is normal until we find someone or see something that says it is not normal. And I think that was my point to my story. The fact that he has not been raised with spankings for every little thing he says or does wrong in my opinion is the reason he does not hit kids when they say something he doesn't like or when they hit him first. I don't care what anyone has to say about it, PARENTS are to blame for their children's violence and misbehavior in general.

It's interesting that you say time-outs are more effective because I've heard from a lot of people that it just doesn't work. My mom is one of those old-school Asian moms so she certainly didn't believe in time-outs. A lot of my relatives are the same way. I don't like violence think that it's something that should only be used as a last resort. It's a good thing your son doesn't hit the other kids back, because sometimes bigger children don't know how much they can hurt someone else physically.

I suppose it's different for every child. I know some kids who won't respond to any other punishment, so spanking can be effective in their case. But I still feel pretty ambivalent about it - it got so bad that I'd be breaking down at school if I got a B on my report card or a not-so-stellar grade on an assignment and the counselors had to intervene. My mom stopped after that because they threatened to call child protective services, but she still doesn't think that she did the wrong thing. She thinks that it is no big deal, and that I cry too easily and that I overreact.

Have you ever tried anything else? You should really take a look at the link I posted on page 3. It's got some cool little ideas I think. Also, do you spank with your hand or some sort of tool? If it's a tool, then it is abuse, even if you were told to. I'm sure they didn't say to use a paddle or something. Anyway, if it's not a tool, then that's ok, but at least take a look at some alternatives. I know telling them NO doesn't always work, but believe me there were lots of things my mom did when my stepdad wasn't around to beat me that worked just as well, if not better.

Yes, I'm the exact same way! I have pretty big temper flare-ups sometimes, and I get the urge to hit people, not that I've ever done it before. But I'm the kind of person who smashes things apart and kick over chairs and tables when I get really angry.

True it is up to you and it is your child BUT if your spankings are severe than it is up to anyone who cares about the well being of that child to report you! Thats what child services are for! Spank your child if you want just make sure you do it responsibly.

I agree with you 100%

I agree, spanking does not make the kid think about what they have done wrong. It just says 'You've been bad and now I'm gonna whack ya" or something like that. Honestly I like the thing some parents do about having their kids tell them what is an appropriate punishment, and if it is fitting, go with it. That way, the kid has to think about waht they did, why it was wrong, and what an appropriate punishment would be.

So you are not a moral being?

Yes, but people like that aren't necessarily moral beings. They don't misbehave because they empathize with others or look at the implications of their actions for society as a whole etc., but because they fear having harm come to them. It might work in the short term, but it also creates people who would break the law when nobody is looking.

So, you think a slap across the face is right? Well, let me tell you something. A long time ago, my mom slapped me across the face, I forget what for, but you know what happened? I had to go to the hospital because she busted a blood vessel next to my eye. If it'd been any further over, even a hair, it'd have been in my eye, and I'm already visually impaired, but that one little smack could've made me totally lose my vision in that eye. That is part of why I do not believe in things like that. I certainly wouldn't want to cause or add to my child's blindness and I hope you wouldn't either.

I just want to say my mom also slapped me across the face when I was younger, i think I was about 13 or so? But I really deserved it! I was totally shocked and so was she and she never did it again, (she did not have too) But if anything would have happened to me such as blindness or what have you, I would not have blamed or held my mom responsible because I know i deserved it and my mom was not a bad mom, she had just had enough of my mouth.

Cute word play in your name huejass Anyway I disagree. I was often spanked as a child for being bratty and I have never been a violent person.

I disagree. Anything that requires something that is not part of your body is abuse, plain and clear! If you use belts and switches, I am sorry but I would call you abusive. Giving them a decent thwack with a hand wouldn't be so bad, but you really need to think about what you are doing. Let me ask you something. You talk about doing things out of love, yet you abuse your children by inflicting serious pain, and believe me a whack with a belt is serious pain and leaves whelps that you can feel for quite some time. When I was a kid, it hurt me to sit for a week. You also said that your chhild is hard to keep in time out without force. Well, I say that is lazy parenting. I'm not trying to be harsh, but it is. If it's a more effective punishment for him, you should use it and take all necessary measures as a parent. Additionally, if he, or any of your kids, has a learning disability or whatever, spanking them iis even worse! Your kids, even at 2, need to think about what they've done, not get beat for it. Finally, as I said in a later post, adults do NOT get beaten when they commit a crime, do they? So why children? Adults get imprisonment, isolation, confiscation, various other things, but not beaten, especially not by their disciplinarians. I do know that sometimes there are fights in the prisons, but the wardens and such need to be more on the ball about that, so it's not the fault of the police who nab them. Make your kids think about what they've done, and give them punishment accordingly, but please please at least consider other methods. Check out that link I put in my later post to my AC article. Some of those things might give you some ideas you didn't think about. I understand if you don't want to totally abandon spanking, but if any of my alternative methods, or any other methods you think of yourself begin to work, you may not need to spank them anymore. It really sounds to me like you spank out of laziness though, because there's no reason you shouldn't be able to keep your kid in timeout. My stepbrother and I used to have to get our noses stuck in a corner when my mom was in charge, and he'd always try to take it out. He ended up getting more time while I got out. Try something like that with your child, and keep a watchful eye on him. If he realizes that when he gets out, IF he does, he'll get put back in and more time added that he can't go play, he should learn and behave because he'll want out ASAP.

I know what she means, by having to force then into time-out! If its anything like my child was it means you have to sit with them and hold them down while they bite and kick and scream the entire time? And can that not also be looked at as abuse? When you have to wrap your child up and hold them down? And are we as parents suppose to suck it up and be left bitten and bruised by your childs kicking and fighting? My child blacked my eye once fighting me to get out of time-out. Its not spanking out of laziness in my case. It was keeping my child from hurting me or himself worse. And what do you suggest BESIDES spanking for a child like this?

Totally agree! :)