My life.....A request from TheGreatWhite....

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I'm going to go in detail like you asked. So if it gets to long, sorry. Once I get to talking I can go! If I leave anything out let me know. My life before this relationship...I was a single mother of two, 1yr old and 4 yr old. I worked full time and went to school full time. I am a very loving and devoted mother. My kids always come first. My kids, Well, I should say the 4yr old, because the one year old didn't do much yet at this time. My 4 yr old, was a very loving and caring child. Much respect and very mature for his age. He cared for his mother and showed it in every way. Very calm child, with his spurts of hyperness every now and then. Listened to everything and always did as he was told. He was helpful in every way you could think. While at work one day a guy comes and askes me for my phone number. We start talking and things are going great! I would go over to his place a lot to see him and his kids. His place was always clean. we always had a smile on our faces. Our kids loved to play with each other. Kids always wanted to have the other spend the night so then we started to. Then it turned into an everyday thing. After a while we talked about moving in with each other and eventually did. We had only been together a few months before we did this. He rented a small three bedroom trailer and I owned a Large three bedroom house. I couldn't really just get rid of mine considering I just bought it right before I met him so we ended up moving into my house. His kids at this time were 3, 4 and 6. The rooms in my house are extremely huge so we had no problem fitting 3 in one room and there was still plenty of space. From that time till now it all seems a blur. I don't remember what the kids were like I don't remember when we started having problems, if it was right away and increasingly got worse or if it was later on. I just don't remember. That could be the problem we don't know where we went wrong. By this time I was becoming the manager at where I worked so I had to stop schooling. Was at work from morning till night. That only lasted a couple of months because I never got to see my kids and I felt like I was leaving them with someone I hadn't known but a few months, plus the fact that I had found out I was pregnant and the stresses that came with my job I couldn't take. So here I am a stay at home mom of 6 kids. He works third shift, which really put a damper on our relationship after so long. He'd work 3rd, come home, bring the kids to school and sleep during the day. While I stay home do the cooking, cleaning, running one of the kids to school (half day preschool), picking all the kids up, starting homework and then dad gets up. He is with us from about 4 pm most days till the kids go to bed at 8pm. Then it is our time to spend with each other, plus the baby is still up. at 11 pm he goes to work and I go to bed all by myself. The reason it put a damper on our relationship is because I felt like I was doing all the work by myself and then he was there for a couple of hours to visit and then I went to bed. I felt like I was a single mother all over again just this time with 6 kids. it is very lonely going to bed by yourself every night but knowing you are in a relationship. Earlier I said how whenever I went to his house it was always cleaned, well here he don't help with most of it. I know I am home all the time I can do it, but that is alot of laundry, alot of dishes, alot of toys! I get tired of doing it all. I feel like I am rambling and not giving you much. One of my days... The kids get up, get ready for school. Dad comes home and takes them to school. One rides a bus to a different school (headstart) Dad goes to bed. I am home with the baby ( well not quite a baby anymore, he is one now and into everything!) and then the 5 yr old. He will eat breakfast watch tv or play around downstairs. The second i would ask him to pick up something or do something. He would throw a fit "I didn't have it" or "why do I always have to do it". "I want to watch tv!" He is one that is constantly hyper to so all day long till he goes to school at 12:30 he is making noises or being extremely loud! None stop. So 12:30 he goes to school. I have peace til 1:30 then I get my 3 yr old off the bus. He gets home, give him a snack and then he goes and plays quietly upstairs or he will color or he will ask me to read him a book, still quiet and peaceful....3:30 I get the other kids from school. The second they get in the vehicle (everyday without failure) they start fighting or horsing around being extremely loud! I know it drives me nuts at that instant because it goes from complete silence to you can't even hear yourself think. We get home and more fighting or complaining about the other or someone hit someone. This is an every single day thing. I have told them over and over you be nice to others. I have put them in time out for hitting. I have repeated myself over and over and it doesn't faze them. While the older two 8 and 6 are doing their reading the others are running and horsing and being extremely loud. I tell them to go play with their toys for a while, they don't. They will not go upstairs and play with their toys unless we force them to go upstairs. (force meaning we don't give them a choice). Dad usually gets up about this time. I usually am frustrated by the loudness and the meanness orthe attitudes by this time and hand it over to him. They want to tattle I tell them to tell dad. He has come a long way with telling them to stop or watching their volume but I don't think their is much help. The kids no right from wrong and they still choose to do wrong. We try to keep them busy so they don't drive us nuts because if we don't give them something to do they are horsing around, running, fighting, jumping on furniture, everything! They do have chorse to do everyday. They have homework. Remember how I said how my 4yr old use to act. He is now 6 and he is nothing like that anymore. He acts just like the others. Very immature for their age. Don't listen, acts like he don't care about anything. Not helpful anymore, usually hyper along with the others. I don't know where we went wrong. I can't take it anymore. I put most of the blame on his kids for the way mine acts now and it hurts when I say that to him, but I say it when I am so frustrated and don't think before I speak. I hope this is what you were wanting. I know I have typed alot, but I don't know if it gives you anything to go with. I have even suggested me getting a second shift job, so I could have a break for a little bit. His reply to that was then you would never see your kids because during the day they are at school and at night I would be gone. He said he would never do that. I don't want to but I think it would be a good break. He don't want me too. I think what also bugs me is, I am a clean person. I don't like clutter, I take pride im my personal hygiene and I have tried to teach the kids about their hygiene and they would care less. His 8 and 5 yr old half the time won't wipe their butts and will keep their underwear on for days. I found out that their mother still wipes their butts!! 8 and 5!! Umm shouldn't they be doing this on their own? So that grosses me out and I have tried solving that problem with baby wipes in the bathroom, tried showing them how to do it, they don't care, it's too much work for them. Which in turn makes me not want to do their laundry. I grosses me out! They don't want to take showers. To me this is all gross! They don't have much for common sense, which drives me nuts. They may know to do something but won't do it. I asked why and I always get the same answer "because no one told me too" Common sense! You know to do it so do it. The picture is of us. the little one in front of the girl is mine and the boy in the blue tank top is mine the others are his. baby was only a couple months old at that time so he didn't go on vacation with us. We all look happy, don't we. That weekend was not a vacation at all!! The kids would not listen what so ever!! Even in the hotel they fought and jumped on beds and ran all over! I was miserable! Most kids you ask them to quiet down or stop jumping and they do it, maybe have to tell them a couple times but eventually stop. Not ours we have to say it over and over and over and they still don't listen so then we put them in time out when they get up they go right back to it. See why I always feel like I am yelling all the time and repeating myself all the time. I am drained and I don't feel much for those kids anymore.