Foursome with good friends
By Uroborus
@Uroborus (908)
Canada
January 27, 2009 10:16am CST
My wife and I are good friends with a married couple that we've known for 6 years. The 4 of us have always flirted a bit with each other, but it was innocent. Things like saying sexually sugestive things while having dinner together, and commplimenting each other on "hot looks", and sexy outfits, etc. We've also hugged each other a lot and, after visiting each other for dinner, would say goodbye by me given my friend's wife a kiss, and her husband giving my wife a kiss (on the lips briefly, not the cheek).
Lately the flirting has become more intense, and the other night one of us suggested in fun "we should have a foursome". We all laughed at first, but they all smiled and winked and said...hey..."why not"?We are all tempted and are seriously considering it now, we just have a bit of cold feet because we are all such good friends.
Your thoughts?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@dvschic (1795)
• United States
27 Jan 09
as long as your wife and you are very clear on what's allowed and what's not, it should be fine. most problems arise from insecurities happening during the actual event and it gets weird. be sure that everyone knows the ground rules and that you actually want this to happen. plus it sounds like swinging is what you want, unless you are attracted to him and want to participate. you can do the same room but switch wives.
@Uroborus (908)
• Canada
27 Jan 09
Thank you for your comments. Yes, my wife and I have discussed it in great detail and want to do it. We don't feel like either of us would be the least bit jealous over it. My concern was more about whether it would ruin the friendship with the other couple. But they seem into also.
I also like the idea of swapping that you mentioned. I wouldn't be at all uncomforatble about being in the same space with the other man, or seeing him with my wife, but the swapping in private thing adds a whole new dimesion. I've also heard of the practice of extended swapping. Where you not only swap wives (or husbands if you prefer) for one night, but for an extended period of time like days or weeks. You literally move in with the other person and act as husband and wife for that time.
@dvschic (1795)
• United States
27 Jan 09
i personally couldn't do it, but we have discussed it in the past. the jealousy factor is HUGE with us. the only added benefit of removing to a separate room is to keep it from the other persons eyes. but then the insecurities may increase depending on the person. it will definitely change the dynamics of the relationship with the other couple, but it may be for the positive.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
If you still don't have children then i guess you should give it a go if you think you're psychologically prepared for it. It's takes a lot of openness to be able to pull it through. Sharing one's partner is some kind of unacceptable to some society so it could mean it would be damaging for some. How about your wife? What's her reaction to this kind of proposal?
I suggest yo go watch "Zebra Lounge" first. At least to know some of the consequences of swinging. Just be careful because it might backfire.
@Uroborus (908)
• Canada
27 Jan 09
My wife's reaction to all this is positive. We have discussed swinging for quite some time and are very open to the idea. Our main obsaticle has been how to go about it. I mean, approachig people you don't know about it. Now that we have some friends who also seem to want to explore this makes us very excited, since we know them very well, and the potential danger of getting together with crazy people is gone. We are both very eager to go ahead with it.
Thank you for the Zebra Lounge reference. I'll check it out. We definitely don't want to rush this (as eager as we are), and want to explore all angles first.
@thegreatdebater (7316)
• United States
28 Jan 09
I guess it all depends on how good of friends you are, and if you are willing to accept the worse case senario (which would be losing them as friends). It could be alot of fun, and you may even enjoy being with each other more. Or, it can hurt your relationship with each other, and might be so ackward that you never want to do it again. I think you two should talk about it, and then talk to your friends about it, and tell them how you feel, so everyone knows what to expect. After that, have fun.
